A Mother's Loss

The first mother to lose a child...was the first mother.

Didn’t recognize the sound at first

Knew not from where it came

But when I knew it came from me

No words my brain could frame…

 

This howl a sound as primal as Eve’s

When Abel’s body lay before her

What!  What has happened, Lord,

Who did this?  What evil cur

 

Has wrecked my child’s body

Has taken his life so soon

Oh! Lord, please tell me

Who played this hateful tune

 

Oh, no!  It can’t be Cain

Why, he’s my flesh and son

How could he have done this thing

Where is he?  Has he run?

 

Now I cry out as loud as Eve

With no sight of relief

Who has done this evil thing

And thrown me on this reef

 

Of agony and heartache

Of pain and loss of hope

No washing of this blood

Can come from any soap

 

I only cry and moan for now

With no thought of tomorrow

For my child who has died this day

I only taste sad sorrow.

 

Oh!  Mothers who cry aloud

For the loss of one they bore

No words can be of comfort

Their hearts heavy and sore.

 

“Look to God, it’s in his plan”

I don’t want to hear this now

My plan was to reap his life

Now, can’t sow " there’s no such plow.

 

Tell me not of God’s grace

Tell me not of peace

This pain cannot be bought so cheap

With words of “Just release”

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Still in class Poetry 101. Thought I'd go from guns to the havoc they can bring...A six-year old dead by the hands of car-jackers who shot him multiple times. This news story broke my heart and has stayed with me since the story broke.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Thank you for pointing me to this, it's an excellent poem, well-crafted & powerfully-stated! It's always good to see how another writer approaches a topic I've recently written about. I love the opening scream, so originally & vividly described. I love trying on a perspective that's far from my own, & your verse helps me step into such tragic shoes much more than my own poem did. Thanks for sharing! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Carol Cashes]

I think you are more perceptive than most, and would refrain from spouting cliches and platitudes that might otherwise, or in another situation, provide some small comfort to someone experiencing loss. There are NO WORDS that can comfort a parent, only letting them know you will listen...many people are uncomfortable when someone who has lost a child wants to talk, but they need to and it helps when they know that they are being heard by someone who responds only with a hug...and love.

[barleygirl]

Many good points . . . especially about listening & not trying to fill up one's discomfort with shallow platitudes!

[KeeD]

Reading your authors note, that's terrible news. I dislike the situation that has enveloped our perfect garden of Eden, turning this lush world into a breathing ground for hurt. I was right there with you through every line, I could feel a mothers pain, an internal hurt, like my heart was in knots. I never really thought until now of what the pain of Eve would be knowing one of her children died and the other was the reason. It's not only the wound it's the salt poured over the wound that stings. You made me realize that be it true or a fairy tale, ever since the fruit was bitten humanity has always had its flaws and strengths. You make me want to go and hug my mama. Thank you

[Carol Cashes]

I hope that you did hug your Mama...this is how she would feel if something should ever happen to you - so take good care of yourself, KeeD.
Thank you for reading my meager attempt at poetry. I'm a better (well, that's subjective) storyteller.

[Najam Us Saher]

Heart wrenching and it really brought tears in my eyes while I read this. Beautifully written.

[Carol Cashes]

So sorry for being late in reading this...many real life obstacles...
Thank you for reading this...and your tears. Cry them for children who die from neglect, abuse, and thoughtless, careless even heartless violence.

[Najam Us Saher]

You are welcome.
It's very disturbing to know the problems faced by such innocent children.

[Jimmy Yetts]

A profoundly perceptive piece portraying tragedy beyond measure.
Thou hast said it all--stunningly.
Soul-wrenching read, Carol!

[Carol Cashes]

Thank you so much for reading. As stated in the Author's Note, this news story has stayed in my head and my heart.

[LostBoy]

Skillful write. Loving the Bible allusions.

Always a great pain to lose a child....the violence seems our burden, sin and what differs us from the heavenly powers. ...

[Carol Cashes]

Thank you for reading. I hope this maybe helped you to put words to some of that blackness you're living with. Message me if you need to.

[LostBoy]

I'm doing quite well atm (why I'm back) but thank you very much for this kind offer.

[MCS]

I know that sound you’re talking about its raw, primal and as old as time. This struck too close for my comfort. Excellent write.

[Carol Cashes]

I gave you "feelies"? I am honored by such words from such talent as yourself. Thank you for reading.

[MCS]

its my pleasure, thank you for sharing your gift

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Carol,
It's only Richard, dropping-in for a visit.
Normally, I'd suggest leaving the message off explaining the poem's essence, leaving it up to the reader's discernment, but if you had on this one, I'd have been consoling it's author.
Here, in the 7.5 million population metropolis of Houston, there are far too many of these kinds of tragedies occurring daily … even one is too many.
I recognized and felt your tender heartbeat and deep, empathetically-caring soul threading through each line and verse, as you swept me with you … I can't begin to imagine how a mother's tears must feel.
For a novice poetess, your word choices, expressions, rhymes, imagery, and emotional tug are all amazingly spot-on.
Syntax could use a touchup here and there to maintain a smooth flow, but you've the bones of a master to build on.

Your beautifully stroked, though ugly meaning verses, certainly touched my core … kudos to a fine poetic effort, Dear Carol; anytime I can help, just tap my shoulder … hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[Carol Cashes]

What is this "syntax" you speak of? Should I be in Vegas? I am no poet, and struggled with both of my meager poetic offerings - jus' gettin' to rhyme!
But...I'm no coward, and will try my literary hand at least once or twice before I leave it to those whose minds can conjure pictures/sounds/sensations with just a few words.
I usually need at a small paragraph...

[Richard🖌]

syntax |ˈsinˌtaks|
noun
the arrangement of words and phrases to create well-formed sentences in a language, phraseology, or lines in poetry that allow the reading to flow smoothly.

[Richard🖌]

You're more a poet, Carol, than many who would claim to be. : )

Sin tax in Vegas; it didn't go over my head … LOL!

[Carol Cashes]

I have a poetic soul...sometimes...but I thank you for being generous. Syntax = Rhythm. Sound it out, then Shout it Out! That...I can do.

[Richard🖌]

Yes, you surely can, Carol! ; )

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like the poem and the analogy to adam and eve, cain and abel...it works so well....we really feel the impassioned agony of the mother...

my only suggestion is to let your poems speak for themselves...rather than describe the meaning in the description part...leave that out and let the readers get what they will get personally from the poems...allows readers to relate in their own way.

j.

[Carol Cashes]

I get it...and will edit accordingly. I think you're right - at the same time, I don't want anyone writing "sympathy" notes to me - I only imagined how I would feel. But I think you are right....Thanks for reading and the kind review for this poetic neophyte.

[Gee]

The authors note is heartbreaking.
I obviously cannot compare a father's love for their child with a mother's, but having invested every living hour of the last 16 years raising a beautiful daughter with my beautiful wife, the thought that one day I might wake up with her gone makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach.
Would I kill for my child, probably, but then that would be robbing another parent of their child.
Well written, thought provoking Carl

[Carol Cashes]

Of course you can compare a father's love with a mother's. It's no less, just different. The story of the six year old is true - in Jackson, MS, three young men stole a car with the child in the back seat. Instead of just letting him out to take his chances in traffic or the woods, they chose to shoot this baby multiple times. I can't shake the heartache for this baby I don't even know and my feelings prompted this meager offering for his mother, though she will never know. Thank you for reading.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

I can tell how heart-felt your poem is. Eloquent words and relevant, meaningful bible references. You are right, no words can heal the loss of a child. No words can comfort the mother. But your poem gives a voice to the victims of gun violence. Thank you for this.

[Carol Cashes]

The first mother who lost a child is also the first mother. I thought only fitting that she be included in this lament of too many mothers these days. Thank you for reading and thank you for your kind words.