Creative Cussin'

Creative Cussin'

A Story by Carol Cashes
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Good for lungs and blood circulation

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Creative Cussin’


My topic tonight is Creative Cussin’.  Now, anyone who knows me, knows that my go-to feelin’ for stuff is anger.  Anger has kept me alive, afloat when the life jacket gets ripped away by the current, and just generally helps the blood circulation.  There are so many sad young people on this sight and while I have compassion for that, sometimes I just want to tell them to get mad… GET MAD.  Not tear up your stuff (or somebody else’s) mad.  Not break up with your significant other mad.  Not alienate your friends and family mad. Not pouting mad.  But life’s not fair and that should spark some kind of AAARGH!! response.  At least one.  You can cry yourself to sleep, but let out a blood curdling yell--just one.  It’s like aerobics for the mouth and lungs.  Just out of the blue let out mighty roar!  Scare the s**t out of the person next to you.  I promise you, the first thing you’ll do when that happens is…you’ll laugh.  I’ve scared more than my share of unsuspecting innocent by-standers and the looks on their faces have sent me into hysterics.  Really, I swear by it.


I do not recommend just releasing a stream of obscenities in mixed company or around children.  No, you will be escorted out or at the very least old ladies and young mothers will send you straight to hell with just a look.  No, the best place to cuss is in your vehicle"with the window up so’s nobody can hear you and get mad.  I have spontaneously spewed some truly note-worthy and award winning phrases"I suspect it’s my brand of poetry.  Driving around other people who think they can drive is the catalyst and I use these anonymous a**hats to rid myself of the day’s worries and cares.  They can’t hear you, nobody gets mad, and when you get really good at it, you will laugh. I’m freakin’ hilarious on Interstate 10.  By the time I get home, I’ve entertained (and impressed!)  myself with my creativity and the resulting belly laughs.  I’m relaxed, and just generally feel better, like a good work-out at the gym--Cardio Cussin’. 


The secret to the “creative” in cussin’ is getting out of your comfort zone.  The old stand-bys are fine to get started, but put as much thought into the phrasing and combinations as you do when you write your poetry…stringing words along to make mind pictures.  If you’re not comfortable with standard issue cuss words, get creative!   I have yelled at punks cutting me off with their big a** Hummers that their feet stank and they don’t love JEE-ZUS!  To say this with real flair, you must squint your eyes and make “The Screamer” face.  You.  Will.  Laugh. 


See, that’s the secret to the whole yelling and cussin’ discipline.  The more creative you get, the funnier you are to yourself and who can stay a Debbie Downer if you can make yourself laugh.


Jus’ sayin’….


© 2017 Carol Cashes



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The car seems to be a safe haven AND good place for new material! Love that it's able to make you laugh, god knows we all need it, especially when mad

Posted 2 Months Ago


Being an old English major, my favorite oath is "Son and heir of a mongrel b***h!" (King Lear). The problem with that one is there are so many short attention span types around, you'll lose them halfway through. I don't know about letting loose on the interstate, though. If your luck is on a bad streak, you could come up behind a lip reader who also has a 9 mm.

Posted 4 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

4 Months Ago

Oh,Lordy! It never occurred to me I'd encounter a lip reader! *laughing* Is there no place sacred.. read more
I totally agree with you Carol. I tend to tell this to several of my closest peeps, including my daughter. I even offer our garden, to some, so they can go yell, scream, and or pound the wall, or stomp the ground if they must, to let loose some of that steam. I also regret, that during my teenage years, I was taught quite the opposite, and would be accused of disrespecting whenever the bomb would go off. And in the end, as I stated elsewhere, my anger turned to violence towards boys and men alike from the time I was 15 up till the age of 26. I would hit, punch and kick any guy for just sitting next or behind me at school, and it be worse if they looked my way. I had no care, and I would even dare, that they fight me. Thank God, He has turned that page around, and I no longer do this anymore. At times though some guys do tend to try my patience but I have learned self control to a degree. So yes, I agree with what you state, it really does help. Thank you for sharing this piece of writing

Posted 4 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

4 Months Ago

Lordy! Never was big enough to take on anybody physically but my younger siblings. Learned to talk.. read more
I haven't read anything like this on here before or anywhere else and I'm digging it all day! Sometimes we need to get mad to get motivated or at least I do. A nice kick up the backside. Your words created a huge smile on my face and I'm already going to read this again. It reminds me of scream psychology and it definitely works. Fantastic writing!

Posted 4 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

4 Months Ago

I'm tryin' to bring back the primal scream therapy - don't know why it fell out of favor unless the .. read more
duff

4 Months Ago

Valium and Xanax, lol. I like your quick wit. You are welcome. My pleasure.
Sounds like a f**kin' plan.
Clever entertainment--brought me from being Donnie Downer to feeling like Uriah Upper.
Amusing read, Carol!

Posted 5 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

4 Months Ago

It does work: I'm still employed, married and not on parole.
Thanks for reading this, it w.. read more
Lol this was great. I feel alot of anger balled up inside of me and I have trouble getting rid of it sometimes. I have no one to talk to so I try to write it away but like a boomerang and always finds me again. Maybe I'll try yelling the next time al though I dont have the guts to do it around bystanders because Im a shy person lol

Posted 5 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

5 Months Ago

Yup, keep it in the car and stay out of trouble. I cannot guarantee your safety outside of those bo.. read more
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Zoe
Whoa, what a real creative and inspirational lesson on cussin' lol. Hilarious to read. I'll be sure to try this in the future. Thank you for sharing!

Posted 5 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

5 Months Ago

I'm glad you enjoyed it. While written humorously I actually do advocate the yelling part - like th.. read more
Zoe

5 Months Ago

Same, haha. I'll definitely try this therapy out!
Ha! Agree entirely with this. My sister and I used to have a whole lot of words up our sleeves that sounded bad but were actually scientific words or Spanish compliments etc. The look of confusion was everything! haha. I like your style of writing. It's enjoyable, entertaining and easy to read. Thanks for sharing! :)

Posted 5 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

5 Months Ago

How cool! No one knew but you two (see what I did there?) I've been mad enough that it sounds like.. read more
Love this story. So witty and cleverly written. I agree with the sentiment: sometimes a bout of anger is the best way to feel better. My own temper scares me so I try to stay calm as much as I can, but an occasional ear-splittingly-loud profanity has its uses. I really like how while this story is humorous and jovial, it's also a legitimately good piece of advice.

Posted 5 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

5 Months Ago

Thank you for reading. I actually do advocate yell, cuss and laugh. It's worked for me and decrease.. read more

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Added on July 1, 2017
Last Updated on July 1, 2017
Tags: humor

Author

Carol Cashes
Carol Cashes

Biloxi, MS



About
I'm very cynical, jaded, just this side of bitter and the only reason I haven't crossed that line is a good man loves me. I am extremely empathetic, but seldom sympathetic. I can be a ferociously lo.. more..

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