Creative Cussin'

Good for lungs and blood circulation

Creative Cussin’

My topic tonight is Creative Cussin’.  Now, anyone who knows me, knows that my go-to feelin’ for stuff is anger.  Anger has kept me alive, afloat when the life jacket gets ripped away by the current, and just generally helps the blood circulation.  There are so many sad young people on this sight and while I have compassion for that, sometimes I just want to tell them to get mad… GET MAD.  Not tear up your stuff (or somebody else’s) mad.  Not break up with your significant other mad.  Not alienate your friends and family mad. Not pouting mad.  But life’s not fair and that should spark some kind of AAARGH!! response.  At least one.  You can cry yourself to sleep, but let out a blood curdling yell--just one.  It’s like aerobics for the mouth and lungs.  Just out of the blue let out mighty roar!  Scare the s**t out of the person next to you.  I promise you, the first thing you’ll do when that happens is…you’ll laugh.  I’ve scared more than my share of unsuspecting innocent by-standers and the looks on their faces have sent me into hysterics.  Really, I swear by it.

I do not recommend just releasing a stream of obscenities in mixed company or around children.  No, you will be escorted out or at the very least old ladies and young mothers will send you straight to hell with just a look.  No, the best place to cuss is in your vehicle"with the window up so’s nobody can hear you and get mad.  I have spontaneously spewed some truly note-worthy and award winning phrases"I suspect it’s my brand of poetry.  Driving around other people who think they can drive is the catalyst and I use these anonymous a**hats to rid myself of the day’s worries and cares.  They can’t hear you, nobody gets mad, and when you get really good at it, you will laugh. I’m freakin’ hilarious on Interstate 10.  By the time I get home, I’ve entertained (and impressed!)  myself with my creativity and the resulting belly laughs.  I’m relaxed, and just generally feel better, like a good work-out at the gym--Cardio Cussin’. 

The secret to the “creative” in cussin’ is getting out of your comfort zone.  The old stand-bys are fine to get started, but put as much thought into the phrasing and combinations as you do when you write your poetry…stringing words along to make mind pictures.  If you’re not comfortable with standard issue cuss words, get creative!   I have yelled at punks cutting me off with their big a** Hummers that their feet stank and they don’t love JEE-ZUS!  To say this with real flair, you must squint your eyes and make “The Screamer” face.  You.  Will.  Laugh. 

See, that’s the secret to the whole yelling and cussin’ discipline.  The more creative you get, the funnier you are to yourself and who can stay a Debbie Downer if you can make yourself laugh.

Jus’ sayin’….

Reviews

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

"The secret to the “creative” in cussin’ is getting out of your comfort zone."--this is what I hear often and need to do more!
:)

[Carol Cashes]

Ha! If it don't come natural, take time to write some down...you'll remember 'em when you need 'em. Good luck!

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

Thanks!
:)
I am always sticking to what comes natural.

[Gee]

Maaan, can I cuss. I nanny 40 or more carpenters every day, most of them whiners. From the minute I get into my van until the time I pull up outside my house later on in the day I'm a cussin, swearing, effin and blindin machine. Ifya didn't know me you would think I had Tourette's.
A fine, relatable read Carol

[Carol Cashes]

That's too funny - Tourette's! I've mentioned it before and while I recognize it as a disability and a serious condition...I could pass, easy.

[Neville]

Nothing quite like a bit o creative cussin folks & this just hits the spot squarely on the head...

[Carol Cashes]

Thanks for reading...and "hitting the spot squarely on the head"? I'm sure I addressed hitting someone's soft spot on their head in at least one or two rants....

[Neville]

Absolutely spot on girl

[Abigail Latoreno]

So true, I can relate so much to this. I receive stares from a lot of people when I do this and I remember my college coach actually knowing me as the the girl who cusses a lot. It just feels so good to let out frustrations through this as long as I don't hurt anybody in doing it. It was such a good read, I really enjoyed this and I can't wait to read more of your work.

[Carol Cashes]

I'm glad you enjoyed this. While it reads tongue-in-cheek, I actually do advise that just yelling sounds like AARRGH!! can be as cleansing as crying. Much like the old "primal scream" therapy.

[Abigail Latoreno]

I will definitely try that next time haha

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Again- You Rock Carol! I will sit for this topic every time! I learned cussin' at my grandma's knee (bilingually) and added a ton more from the streets of the Bronx. "I'm freakin' hilarious on Interstate 10"- cracked me up, and I wouldn't challenge your expertise in road- rage! Thanks for the smile & Happy Cussin' Trails to You!:)

[Carol Cashes]

The cussin inside my car is what prevents road-rage. Little do those poor, poor little misunderstood a**wipes know that I save their lives on a daily basis....

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

I'm with you Carol! I cuss and my car horn cusses even louder. Good thing my car accelerates quickly or I'd be a goner by now!:)))

[Carol Cashes]

*laughing* Every day...every. day.

[keith]

i am quad-lingual ... english french spanish ... and waterfront
the last of which causes many a sailor to blush with embarrassment
it matters not the language as the few indictments of spoken written or thought are most definitive with an exact measure of anger or disapproval
at times it lessons the pain while in other instances it brings a sic relief and satisfaction that regular speak does not approach

great offering as usual ... cuss on cuss on!

[Carol Cashes]

Four Languages! I've been mad enough that it can sound like I'm speaking in tongues...but a real and valid language to draw on? *sigh* Really gonna have to invest in some Rosetta Stone....

[William Liston]

Hello Carol : )
This is the first piece I've read by you and I must say, it's freakin awesome! It's witty and shows excellent control of language ... I found myself smiling at how well-crafted each sentence was. I can't wait to read more from you!
Anyways, being someone who curses myself, I can say that it isn't always random smatterings of unintelligence ― it can be done artfully. Every word has a moment where it begs to be used.
Curse words add a special punch, and when said with the perfect delivery, there's nothing better.
I rarely (if ever) curse in my writings, however, because I rarely write about anger. This may have inspired me to try something new ...

Thank you for sharing!

- William Liston

[Carol Cashes]

My writings do not contain obscene language, only the occasional generic swear word. I'm glad you were inspired - it's what every author, next to fame and fortune - wants their readers to leave with. And welcome to the convoluted mind of this author. Most all my pieces are different. Hopefully you'll find one that satisfies - your funny bone or your heart.

[brinda]

😁😁😁😁😂😂😂😂that was funny and spontaneous 👍👍👍

[Carol Cashes]

I'm happy to see that you laughed - it was kinda the point. That said, I hope all the toe-jam suckin' no class s**t eating K-mart driver's licensed booger eatin' idiots spare you today.

[LostBoy]

Hahaha that made laugh too! A very different way of being creative and so vivid! I'd love to watch you creative cussin' what a journey and entertainment that would be!

[Carol Cashes]

If you scare easy, the shoutin' might be a little nerve rattling. I drive defensively, always watching others and removing myself from potential harm. That said, those who force me to slow down, speed up or whatever evasive action I have to take to stay alive should be going to the doctor for that red rash on their ears!

[LostBoy]

Haha ok. I take you for your word then!