NOT DEAD!!

NOT DEAD!!

A Story by Carol Cashes
"

Been out of pocket for a minute or two, but circumstances have conspired to allow me to come back to work at the Cafe

"

FAKE NEWS ALERT:  MIZ CAROL IS NOT DEAD!!!

 

I’ve been absent for some time and have missed my friends and this site very much.  However, as the firstborn daughter of a (very!) High Priestess of the Southern Belle Doctrine…if you don’t have anything nice to say….well, I been sayin’ it, jus’ didn’t wanna write it.  There’s always plenty of sad and gloomy stuff here without my meager contributions and, quite frankly, they wouldn’t measure up to an adolescent female’s diary entries full of BFF and mean girl angst. 

 

But, today, I am now unemployed (this is GREAT NEWS!!!), and my temperament and attitude is always better when I get up…when I wake up as opposed to a clock set for some unholy hour like 6 am. *shudder*  My paycheck was “expensive lunch” money anyways, so if I can keep my husband’s “side chick” (her name is Amazon Prime and she is one greedy b***h!)) in check, my financial picture is still good.  Not “Oprah” money, but manageable and I don’t require much more than a working laptop, WiFi, and Netflix.

 

My personal physical health is still obscenely good:  I can’t even fake a cold, and I never get the flu.  My dysthymia, however, was not being properly managed by Seroquel, so I am now on Latuda, which, according to my shrink is the new miracle medication for those of us with chemical brain imbalances, not “talk-it-out-in-therapy” issues.  I have been on many different psychotropics since 2008:  just a to name a few--Lexapro, Paxil, Zoloft and Prozac, which worked the best for me for three years…until it didn’t.  I also have to take Adderall for severe chronic fatigue and brain fog.  I would give up my Netflix script before I give up Adderall.  I can live with myself with a bad attitude, but the Adderall makes it possible for me to actually start and complete tasks:  like the dishes, laundry, coloring my roots (gray hair for those who don’t know), and doing my nails.  I do not abuse this wonder drug as many college students or highly stressed professionals tend to.  I don’t intend to have or ever want that damn much to do, so the prescribed amount is perfect for my life.

 

The Storm Sisters, who came into my home at the end of August, 2017, weighing 2.5 lbs and 4 lbs are now 5 months and over 40 lbs. each.  I haven’t been around large dogs in many, many years and I’d forgotten their total lack of respect for personal space.  It seems to be quite acceptable to them to climb and rest their big butts on my shoulders and rest their oh-so-weary heads on top of mine.  I don’t mind if I’m Netflix bingeing and only venturing to the bathroom or refrigerator, but all other tasks are apparently dismissed as unimportant and therefore, must wait until they have deemed the top of my head to be the right temperature to leave.  I did not sign up for two big dogs, as these two are becoming, but as I recently told a good friend:  I will “cut a b***h” who thinks about taking them away from me. I will also post the current pics of the Storm Sisters so that that those who actually care can see the difference from their “baby” pics to the almost grown dog faces they have now. 

 

My husband’s health has not been good, not life-or-death (yet!), but he has had many issues that have required hospital stays and some surgeries.  He is disgustingly upbeat and cheerful, and has taken up beer brewing and homemade sausage making. And sous vide cooking (look it up).  All of these are expensive hobbies, but they are the only ones that do not require heavy lifting, long periods of standing or sitting and are suited to his specific disabilities.  I, on the other hand, decided after my third (yeah, I said THIRD!) homemade, from-scratch Kaiser roll that I really need to start walkin’ these big-a*s dogs and teachin’ ‘em to look mean. 

 

I am so ready to start writing again.  So many cool ideas came and went while sitting in surgery waiting rooms and my tomb-like work office (phones not ringing, no new work) but I depended waaaay too much on my memory and will now have to try to remember some of the better ones, relearn how to type, and maybe, just maybe, get back in the creative writing scene with some presentable material and get to readin’ some of the phenomenal talent that would, if I was the type (and I’m not!) really intimidate me.  ‘Bout the only person who awes me these days is my mother. 

 

Some of you will remember that she is dying of lung cancer.  It’s getting harder for her to breathe and she has lost weight, but her determination to stay upright for as long as possible is inspiring.  She still has not called in hospice, but I don’t think that is too far off.  All things happen when they should:   not working now will mean that I can assist her without losing work time or money.  *sigh*  We shall see…..

 

This was meant to be a quick note to my adoring and dedicated fans that I was on an involuntary hiatus, but has turned into this weird, overdue journal entry.  Please forgive the lack of original thought or rhyming words.

 

I will be working hard to produce new material, and I promise to catch up on those 120 + Read Requests.  Lordy!  Y’all been busy!!  And…I can read with a large dog on my head, sooooo…….win/win, eh?

 

 

 

 

 


© 2018 Carol Cashes



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Reviews

Hello my friend. You have been busy. I hope you can find time to relax and think. Life can keep us too busy. I'm glad you are back. Have some fun and be safe.
Coyote

Posted 3 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

3 Months Ago

Groovy! I consider you one of the coolest dudes on this site and am honored that you took the time .. read more
Coyote Poetry

3 Months Ago

This is good news. I have 2 1/2 years. I can stop working. I could use a few years off.
So great to read your wit and humor once again dear Carol. Can’t tell you how much you were missed. Love your unique storytelling- journalistic style. You are courageous, generous and selfless. Best wishes and prayers sent for B. And your mom. What a full plate you have dear friend. But, life is always better with a dog perched on your head- ha! Welcome back! Xo

Posted 3 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

3 Months Ago

ARRGGH! "Full-plate" is my new "F" word! I may stick to the journal style for now, I gots plenty t.. read more
Annette Pisano-Higley

3 Months Ago

Xo.........:):)
I hope your mother gets better you haven't sent me any messages for a long time my dear

Posted 3 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

3 Months Ago

Since you are the only person on this planet I have ever called that, noooo, I haven't forgotten you.. read more
genocide

3 Months Ago

cool f*****g a call me t***y f*****g butthole
genocide

3 Months Ago

hey I was hoping you could inbox me some of my messages please
hey carol cashes I have missed you you didn't message me like you promised I like reading this but I have missed you

Posted 3 Months Ago


Carol Cashes

3 Months Ago

Really like the new avatar...in my mind this is what you look like.
genocide

3 Months Ago

sorry you never sent back the messages I sent you didn't mean to be rude to you hon
genocide

3 Months Ago

I was hoping you could inbox me one good f*****g message been bored my dear

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4 Reviews
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Added on January 11, 2018
Last Updated on January 11, 2018
Tags: non-fiction

Author

Carol Cashes
Carol Cashes

Biloxi, MS



About
I'm very cynical, jaded, just this side of bitter and the only reason I haven't crossed that line is a good man loves me. I am extremely empathetic, but seldom sympathetic. I can be a ferociously lo.. more..

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