If I am Murdered By a Man...

If I am Murdered By a Man...

A Poem by alienated.aquarius

poem about how my safety is threatened as a feminist writer


In a land where boyfriends are bodyguards

And women are taught to walk with fear in the night

It is entirely possible

That I could be murdered by a meninist.

As an outspoken woman

I am a walking insult

Awaiting an attack at any moment

From someone who prefers me silent.

It’s not always nice to be noticed

To be vulnerable like prey in lion country.


I may seem small and fragile

But I could give him the first good beating

He’s had in a while.

My frame may fool you

Pepper spray in pocket

Keys in hand itching for eye sockets

And a foot that’s no friend

To your groin.


In times like this,

My legs are the closest thing to lethal weapons

And if I can’t run fast enough

And fighting fails

I will not go quietly

Whether it be a bike path or outside of a bar

I will make damn sure everyone around

Will know I was there.


It may take days for detectives to discover me

Weeks, months or maybe never,

But say I was found the following day

On the local news station,

The female reporter will read my story

And see herself

While the male anchor spins the story

Addresses the public with how she might have escaped

If the tox screen had not come back soaked in THC

Then maybe she would have been safe

If she hadn’t been so slow

If she was stronger

If she hadn’t opened her mouth

If she would have just stayed quiet

If she would have stayed home,

She would not be another statistic.

They will not say she fought like hell

They will not say ‘you should see the other guy’

They will not say how the police found the carcass,

Cracked it open and found courage.


The man who kills me thinks he has me beat

But my tongue will always be sharper than his knife

While he’s attempting to protect his pride

Up against this bounty hunter of bigots.

I will do my best to never give a man

The satisfaction of slitting my throat

Because I am the one who decides when I die

And I stay alive to spite you. 

Poetry chapbook 'Sonder' now available on Amazon!


© 2018 alienated.aquarius

Author's Note

after receiving multiple rude messages and being approached by bigots in public (whether I'm performing my poetry or not) about the inequality of the sexes, it is apparent that the world is still not ready for outspoken, strong women.

My Review

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Featured Review

definitely a great poem. it has a great plot to it and you raise a lot of great points. growing up in school i HATED the "boys are better than girls" sooooo anoying!!!! i think this has a powerful voice behind it and that powerful voice is you. wonderful poem! nice work!!!

Posted 5 Months Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


I completely agree with this poem. When bad things happen there is always a double standard, be it race, nationality, ethnicity, gender, or education level. This poem shows the power one person can have, even when no one realizes it.

Keep it up Alienated.Aquarius

Posted 2 Months Ago

Loved this. Good points raised in this. Sad the world has to be like this. Keep up the good work.

Posted 3 Months Ago

"The man who kills me thinks he has me beat
But my tongue will always be sharper than his knife"

Well said! Putting myself in your position as I began to read, I felt anxiety and worry for my life. However, in the end, I felt a sense of boldness that gave me comfort to know that the fight is not one-sided internally. Great writing!

Posted 3 Months Ago

wow great flow to this poem keep up the good work never stop writing ..

Posted 3 Months Ago

Somewhere I agree.....no matter how strong she is, if there is no support. I feel there is need for men to taste the mental revolution (some men)...!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and letting us contemplate!

Posted 4 Months Ago

Please take this comment in the heart that it is intended
I wouldn't want to be a man with ill intent meeting you in an alley!

Posted 4 Months Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

That was extremely good. I found that to be very relatable and relevant in my life. I fee like this did an excellent job of reminding how much women today think about how scared they are and how they constantly need to protect ourselves. I especially like the part near the end when you talk about how you will go down fighting. It was very inspiring.

Posted 4 Months Ago

Beautiful. This was needed in this time and age. The world needs to be ready, they deserve this. The world is cold for not accepting woman like they should be, as equals or even better then men. Just beautiful.

Posted 4 Months Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked this, although I imagine some may find it quite crass. It is quite real how woman are vulnerable if they walk alone in the night. It's literally an unspoken rule where I live, to always have someone else with you if you are out at night (although it doesn't have to be a guy, just someone). When I was a teenager, I had a fierce paranoia whenever an expensive car or van drove near me (and would walk casually down several different complex paths) to get away, not daring to risk it. Even when you're depressed, you do not want to go down in such a way. Human predators are very real, child predators even more so (whether sexual or for human trafficking, same for women) and having watched as many crime shows as I've had - it was justified. Yet women are not the only ones. Sex offenders that go after little boys are very real but sexual predators that go after adult men are definitely few and far between. So, the women and girls where I live learn how to fight, arm themselves, try not to piss too many people off in general, and have a lot of connections who can be their alibi for where they were and such if they are ever out too late. It makes me incredibly glad I have a license and can scream so high ears will go deaf. Domestic abuse is more common for women in my area though, and so there's a lot of support groups for that. In school, the majority of the kids were raised by a single parent because of child abuse. I think a lot of people forget about "outspoken, strong women" because they are either in the military or broken by the man they thought they could trust and become a shell of what they once were - placing fear in the hearts of their descendants.

Either way, it is a very complex subject. So I just prepare to defend myself, cover my trails, act with "constant vigilance" and speak where words need to be spoken... while ignoring close-minded bigots for those who will listen and relate.

Posted 5 Months Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wonderful write and life is never ready for strong women, but hey be one anyway and change their ideas ;-]

Posted 5 Months Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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24 Reviews
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on December 3, 2018
Last Updated on December 3, 2018
Tags: poetry, poem, politics, sexism, violence, misogyny, assault, murder



Buffalo, NY

Hi! I'm Catie. i write things (poems, fiction, blogs/articles) and try to publish them. i love chasing waterfalls and sunsets. i was born at a very young age. i can pick things up with my toes. i'm ob.. more..