A Childhood Memory

A Childhood Memory

A Story by AaronFreitas
"

Decided to write a short story about a dark moment in my life.

"

“I want to go live with my dad.” These are not the words any mother wants to hear, especially from her fourteen-year-old son who is still too scared to step up to his stepfather. I uttered those words to my mother and stepfather and for that summer, I lived in regret for every speaking those hurtful words.  I remember the agony as if it were yesterday.  I can remember shaking in pain; my body completely numb from the tips of my hair down to my toes. The verbal abuse, physical beatings became too much to stomach.  I could no longer allow myself to accept feeling this way.  I could no longer come home with a smile only to be called a worthless b*****d; no one deserves that and at that age, no person is strong enough to brush it off. 

 

I think back to a depressing night, one of the worst nights of my life.  I vividly remember hearing my mom argue with my step-dad over me.  I walked into the living room while no one was in there and grabbed a box from the top cabinet.  Walked back to my room, sat on the bed’s edge.  I can still taste the metal in my mouth when I think about it; the taste of death.  A loaded .45 Smith and Wesson rested on my teeth as tears poured down my face. 

 

My breathing sputtered rapidly.  My heart pumped faster than ever before.  Flashes of the people I loved most raced through my mind.  Smiles of my sisters, images from playing baseball and laughter from family members were all light speed dreams streaming through my mind.  I was seconds away from pulling the trigger; I just couldn’t do it.  I set the gun back in the box, rested on my bed and cried for hours.  My two sisters were in their room asleep.  My parents- in their room arguing over a worthless child they did not create together.

 

 I prayed that night, over and over.  I begged for God, if there was a God, to get me out of that situation.  I remember pleading, “Why Me! Why Me!!!!!” It is a night I’ll never forget yet will never regret.

 

I was merely seconds from hell but my guardian angel somehow saved me.  I am grateful for that moment.  I can shamelessly talk to you about it seventeen years later.  I write this hoping that it touches someone, reaches someone in need.  There are better days ahead; suicide is never an option.  Just think about the people you love and how long their hearts will bleed over you.  Had it not been for visions of my sisters crying for me, I would not be here to tell this story.  God works in mysterious ways.  I have been blessed enough to have been saved from self-destruction.  Why?  Well, that purpose I am still searching for.  I am still writing the book of my life each and every day.  Just think of all the memories and how different so many lives would be had I gone through and ended my life that night.  Thank God I didn’t.


© 2015 AaronFreitas



Author's Note

AaronFreitas
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Featured Review

such an honest, raw and very personal write Aaron. The mum in me was heartbroken that this is even in your childhood memory bank :(( Just so much to have had to contend with at such a young age. You are correct i have no doubt this will help someone. Thank you for being so open and sharing. The world is a better place with you in it my friend!! Your purpose...just look at your 4 girlies and you have your answer :))

Posted 2 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Awww thanks.... you made my night my friend :)
sereenaoutloud

2 Years Ago

awwww your welcome :)



Reviews

It takes tremendous courage to write so openly about ANYTHING in our lives that's heartwrenching, but I think a true & detailed account of seriously contemplating suicide might be one of the hardest. I think you caught the perfect balance between telling it with plenty of vivid details, but not making it over-dramatized or sounding like a pity party. I'm sorry you had this kind of childhood (so did I) . . . it literally wrings you out to dredge it all up again but it's worth it if it reaches one person in a bleak place. I answered a suicide hotline for 2 years & lesson number one is to remind the person about how much their loved ones will be hurting over this . . . your message does exactly that.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Great story telling. This did justice in the realm of getting the message across. Great message. There's lot of times where a story can have a great message to aim for, and have a lot of under lining things but then no one gets it, and if no one gets it, then the point has failed. But in my opinion this did well to get the message across. You made it clear, which is why I think it's good. Keep up the good work. What was also great was that I could imagine the story as I read it, and that is also a strong point of stories. The ability to have the reader imagine it because after all we're reading not watching it, but it was as if I was there as I read this, and that is great. Good job once again.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raw and authentic, great piece. I was with you in your room that night when you almost ended it all. The dark despair but also the vision of people you love. The balance in favour of life.

Well done.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

1 Year Ago

Thank you very much Philip :)
Oh my gosh. I cried! It was a very honest story and I loved it.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much. It was honest and it felt good kind of getting it out and it not really being .. read more
This story shakes you to the core, as if almost slapping you with reality. Everyone and anyone should read this, for it is an amazing life story written from the view that most people look over: the victim's. Simply put, awe-inspiring

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much Christopher... I tried to make it as raw and honest as could be while hoping the.. read more
this is a great write!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much :) This is one of the first real stories I wrote.
This story touched my heart. It conveys a very important message to everyone out there especially youngsters to Never lose hope... Very Well written..!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much... was really hoping that it would find the right people that need that message .. read more
This is an amazing testimony Aaron, thank you so much for sharing it with us! Thank God for being with you that day, because you are making a difference, through sharing your journey with us you have touched our lives and hearts.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you Shawna... it took a lot to share this story but I am glad I did :) Thanks for your review.. read more
It's very well written.
I think you got the exact words to convey your feelings :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you Ankita :) I appreciate your review
Beautiful, wonderful write

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much Lyric :)

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Added on April 14, 2015
Last Updated on April 15, 2015

Author

AaronFreitas
AaronFreitas

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About
I love to write, most my work tends to be on the darker side. I write from my heart and tend not to mess with it too much. I guess sometimes I write and post without focusing on what everyone else w.. more..

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