WHAT AM I?: Nephilim WHAT AM I?: Nephilim
A teen boy gets killed, but trades his soul for another chance. He changes. A girl notices the new boy with silver eyes.
My Own Prison

My Own Prison

A Poem by AaronFreitas
"

Here is a poem that hits close to the heart on dark, depressing days.

"


I can no longer look in the mirror,

The sight of this face disgusts me.

I can no longer live life in fear,

Fear of the mistakes that plague me.

 

Struggle to produce a perfect me,

Perfection, just a mystery.

Chasing dreams far from reality,

The root cause of my misery.

 

I have become a slave to my many wrong doings…

A slave to depression, heartbreak and my demise.

Temporary love, hatred, pain and temptations;

I have created my own prison through my lies.

 

Choices in life come back to haunt me.

 Extricate this curse from my soul.

Break these cuffs to regain my freedom,

Too late, self-pity takes its toll.

 

In this lonely prison some call life…

I take it one day at a time.

Until air no longer fills my lungs,

And I crumble away and die.


© 2015 AaronFreitas



Author's Note

AaronFreitas
I used a 9,8,9,8 ; 9,8,9,8 ; 12, 12, 12, 12; 9,8,9,8; 9,8,9,8 format for this write. Let me know what you think

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

I have to agree with Jaycee - the metered structure and the rhymes flow well, you've done a nice job with creating a natural read, none of the rhymes feel forced nor does the timing. This is a dark, dark place you come from and I can understand that. I have read a couple of your pieces now, and it does seem that you delve into the dark more often than not. I would love to read some lighter pieces that incorporate the skills you clearly have with structure and rhyme, or free verse - I like free verse lots too.

Posted 2 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you I appreciate your review very much :) I will work on a lighter piece... most my stuff doe.. read more
Sydney

2 Years Ago

That's ok, consistency is a very good trait



Reviews

very relate-able piece, flows very nicely. I too particularly enjoyed the first verse!

Posted 2 Months Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
D
My reaction : Wow.
and favorite lines are the first three, " I can no longer look in the mirror,
The sight of this face disgusts me.
I can no longer live life in fear,"

for I can relate on some level. Well penned!
100/100

Posted 1 Year Ago


Perfection is a myth and overrated but your poetry is very affecting. Heavy stuff, aptly penned.

Posted 1 Year Ago


I don't much care to contend with a bunch of varying syllable counts, becuz it's the meaning that really matters. I love the way your message opens with looking in the mirror & the gut-level confession about feeling disgust by what we see in the mirror. I love the interplay of straightforward writing with good use of analogies. Very relatable, we all have regrets which grow even more numerous & overwhelming when we're long in the tooth (old-fashioned way to say OLD). The nice thing about being OLD is that hopefully we reach a point where we can let go of regrets as the main way to remember our lives. The middle stanza seems to be the most powerful, as far as literally spitting out the inner turmoil.

Posted 1 Year Ago


I see you're name on here a lot, and figured I'd give you a read. By looking at you numbers there's no question that you're one of the most popular people on here. I respect how you promote, and plan to be up there with you (if not further) very shortly. Now, about this poem. It's clear that you had a message and theme in mind. You did a good job of getting that across. You didn't get too fancy with the wording when you rhymed. A lot of people ruin a good line just so they can make it rhyme at the end, and you managed to avoid that trap. As straight-forward and easy as this poem was to understand, I think you could make ones like this better in the future. With lines like "Choices in life come back to haunt me." you just left it vague. If you gave even one example of this, the strength of the poem grows, and goes from a something people can relate to, to grabbing them by the wrist and taking them through exactly what brought those feelings on. Thank you for sharing, and have a good weekend.

Posted 1 Year Ago


The wrong choices, the regrets and the emotional roller coaster- well write my friend. keep fighting the demons :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

1 Year Ago

Thank you very much Shei :) I am trying my best :)
I forgot that I had read this poem. Reading it again breaks my heart. My brother is living in this sort of prison and reaching him is so difficult. because he has created a reality so solid for him that he is unable to see reason. To take a breath. And it scares me.

Despite the feelings this poem stirs presently, you have chosen words very easy to relate to. They have given me a reminder to be more intently compassionate and caring.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Michelle Coleman

2 Years Ago

No, thank you. 😊 he is doing his best to break through. All I can do is help guide him. Support h.. read more
AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Let him know he's not alone... there's always someone fighting the same fight.
Michelle Coleman

2 Years Ago

I have. He knows on one level, at least.
Beautiful piece full of emotions!
Relatable and quite touches the right chord.
Everyone once in a while go through this, for we all live in this competitive world where each moment is a race and everyone wants to excel!
Great write!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you Jyoti! I was going through some personal things in my life and this write is really what .. read more
Jyoti_Ablaze

2 Years Ago

You are welcome!
I admire this piece. It's very heart-felt in a very heavy way. It's real and genuine. I enjoyed the read.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much Kall :) Almost all my writes are genuine and honest so I am glad you enjoyed it.. read more
This has amazing skill! To use a specific and controlled format YET recreate such emotional thought into coherent self.analysis is extraordinary. But, why can't that power, that ability, be used to remedy your sadness - to see what is clearly a an exceptional human being,

No man is equal to his neighbour, nor is he less or more. For in the beginning as with the end, each and every one is.. unique. EJG

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much Emma for your amazing review :) I do appreciate your kind words :)
emmajoy

2 Years Ago

Not merely kindness but absolute truth.

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

2698 Views
140 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on April 20, 2015
Last Updated on April 20, 2015

Author

AaronFreitas
AaronFreitas

CA



About
I love to write, most my work tends to be on the darker side. I write from my heart and tend not to mess with it too much. I guess sometimes I write and post without focusing on what everyone else w.. more..

Writing
Reality Reality

A Poem by AaronFreitas



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


As I Sit As I Sit

A Poem by Robert