Untitled

Untitled

A Poem by AaronFreitas
"

Just some things that came out... no punctuation just read it fast and keep the flow :)

"

Is it me or is it you

Complications from the truth

You should have lied

You should have tried

To fill the soul with many lies

 

The truth can kill

And lies don’t heal

They ease the pain before the kill

You broke my trust

Teased with lust

Made me feel

What was never real

 

A sickening feeling

Deep inside

Hearts on fire

Burning bright

You won me over

With lustful screams

Then slowly drowned

Away my dreams

 

My heart was blind

My sight alive

Could not see past all the lies

Too blind to see

Too dumb to read

All the signs

In front of me

 

Now I’m alone

I should have known

To never trust you

In my home

You failed to see

The good in me

And now you’re just

A memory

 

 

 


© 2015 AaronFreitas



Author's Note

AaronFreitas
Please let me know your thoughts... thanks

My Review

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Featured Review

Hmmm... As for the poem, i think its very well done. As for the meaning...now i'm speaking, based on personal experience... Well, i'd only write poems like this, if my relationship with someone i love would break. When someone i love...or to pick up the poem's atmosphere a little better, someone i used to love shatters my heart. Anyhow, you did great.

Posted 2 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you IM.... I appreciate your review :)
Dani The Unreviewed

2 Years Ago

You are welcome:)



Reviews

I really liked this a lot! The truth really can kill at times. Sometimes it is hard to listen to. Very emotional piece

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you Brielle... I like the emotion filled writes as a reader so when I write I try be bring emo.. read more
Nice rhyme scheme here, easy to read. Thank GOD you can spell correctly. bless

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

lmao... I understand what you mean with spelling correctly lol... appreciate the review new friend :.. read more
This is amazing! Incredible perfection put into simple words!
I honestly admire your writing!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you KyRae :)... you made my day with your comments! I appreciate it very much... gives a purp.. read more
Real Inspiration

2 Years Ago

Anytime. Always here to read and comment, as I've told many others as well.
It's nice to kno.. read more
Very nice Aaron :) I like the no punctuation, it had a good flow without it. Some poignant emotions that come out of a break up and betrayal. I really enjoyed it, I'll have to read more of your writings

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much Shawna... appreciate your review very much and would love for you to read more :.. read more
I love this one.

"To dumb" should be "too dumb".

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thanks for catching that... I missed that one. Thanks Carrie I'm glad you loved it :)
The flow reciting a bad memory, and its very well done.

I too like the rhymes you made here. :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


Jeyanthi

2 Years Ago

but i was wondering why you titled as untitled. :P
the flow and structure of this poem is very nice Aaron! you can feel it moving through stages of emotions. Great job!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much Emily... I think I got lucky it worked that way as far as working through the st.. read more
Sometimes the best writes come flying out with no time to pause... that's how this piece feels to me; a blur of emotional lines describing being undone by the one you thought was the one. A good write, Aaron!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much LT! I appreciate your review my friend. Thanks!
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613
This flowed extremely well! A lot of people don't know how to rhyme & have their words come across as fluid - like both the rhyming & the timing of the words go together. You were flawless with that.

As for the actual content of the poem, very sad! But written with skill.

- Brittney

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much Brittney :) Appreciate your kind words.... much appreciated!
613

2 Years Ago

You're welcome!
those who don't appreciate us for who we are, aren't worth wasting our time on!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Agree my friend... couldn't have said it better :) Thanks for your comments

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Added on April 21, 2015
Last Updated on April 28, 2015

Author

AaronFreitas
AaronFreitas

CA



About
I love to write, most my work tends to be on the darker side. I write from my heart and tend not to mess with it too much. I guess sometimes I write and post without focusing on what everyone else w.. more..

Writing
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A Poem by AaronFreitas



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