Time in sun and shadows

Time in sun and shadows

A Poem by An owl on the moon
"

Time...how it paints the face of the world...

"

 

Time

How it paints

The face of the world

Seconds tick-talking

Minutes moving miles

Hours of sun and sea and sky

Days of drifting dreams

Time

Flowing like droplets in a river

Weeks in woven light

Months of moments

Years of yellow moons

Epochs and eras

Past and present

Time

Passing over the clock’s face

Autumn, winter, spring, summer

And then they come again

In ages rhythmical

Through generations untold

Spans of living space

Time

How it passes

Slowly, softly, sweetly

And as time passes

In sun and shadows

May your heart truly know

How I only love you more…


© 2009 An owl on the moon



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LJW
Effective line breaks.
Excellent alliteration.

"And then they come again" I would suggest changing to "Only to come again."

The first 3/4 of your piece reads like poetry. The ending, however, reads more like a greeting card or a personal letter to a loved one.

I would suggest, if I may, that to keep the tone of the poem throughout, to replace the reference to loving this one person to a more general reference about love.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Beautiful......well writen poem. I like flow and rhythm of poem.

Slowly, softly, sweetly
And as time passes
In sun and shadows
May your heart truly know
How I only love you more…

Love transcends time and it is comforting !

Posted 7 Years Ago


It was a refreshing thing to see a poem I liked for once.It was great
Tate

Posted 8 Years Ago


Beautiful - What a picture you present with your work - Time flowing like droplets in a river - This is my favorite line - Thanks for sharing your lovely picture.

Posted 8 Years Ago


WAW....fantastic work involving the seasons with time and Love. How very romantic and clever. Thanks again my friend.
Babsie Bee xx

Posted 8 Years Ago


Absolutely stunning! The imagery of the first two stanzas had me lost in my own little world imagining it. I love the end the most... Love for someone grows with time and sometimes never stops. Fantastic as always :]

Posted 8 Years Ago


Yes, beautifully Written

Posted 8 Years Ago


As always, beautiful :]

Posted 8 Years Ago


A beautiful write, brother.

My favorite lines:

"Weeks in woven light
Months of moments
Years of yellow moons"

Posted 8 Years Ago


really good! it's awesome to see how you can compare things in poetry, it's like this whole poem is a metaphor comparing time to the world. and each simile inside the poem builds up the metaphor of the entire thing. nice write, keep it up!

Posted 8 Years Ago



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Added on July 22, 2009
Last Updated on July 23, 2009

Author

An owl on the moon
An owl on the moon

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Welcome to my page of poetry... May you find peace and inspiration... Craig When the owl sings, the night is silent. (Quand le hibou chante, La nuit est silence) - Charles de Leusse “It wa.. more..

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