Homeless

A picture from my daily commute

Sprawled

in the subway

dusty people passing by

you meditate

of nothingness.

Ageless scorn

on your face,

your crooked shape

an acrobat's delight.

"Mister O Mister

a penny in the cup"

... perhaps.

Rivers muddied by

your clouded eyes -

... keep 'em shut!

Bright lights breathe

bouncing on your skin

... yes they do.

Empty turnstiles

cold and yawning

as you slither your

unused dreams

... beneath them

... past them

waving

they do

as they do.

Author's Note

This is my first attempt at breaking out of lyricism and venturing into expansive and observational poetry, where the "I' is no more the central theme. Please let me know what you think. Thanks.

Reviews

[Alvin L. Kathembe]

very powerful images drawn here -
"dusty people passing by"
"Ageless scorn
on your face,
your crooked shape
an acrobat's delight."
"Empty turnstiles
cold and yawning
as you slither your
unused dreams
... beneath them"
astute...good work, this is a great poem.

[Lilly Negoi]

very nicely captured image. and the tone indeed fits the "meditation upon nothingness" with which you open. the social shapelessness and disgrace, life reduced to muddying rivers with one's eyes, existence just as a support for bouncing lights...i'd say you painted this very well :).

[OT]

very well done!!! you should venture into this more!! it was subtle, but very creative, a very clever use of words and images to catch our imaginations!! I really like the almost replies or answers - "...yes they do", "perhaps" - very nice!!

[Robin]

this is life poetic ~ well done

[Tate Morgan]

While I prefer Lyricism and rhythm with rhyme as I find them to tug at the emotions This was a great poem

[.]

well an impressive first attempt..bold images, good flow, interesting subject matter handled with an artist hand..

[Michael X]

I loved this, it was a reccommended twitter post and I can see why,
you capture such a sense of knowing in artistic ways :)

[.]

. wow ... extremely vivid and extremely poignant ... is this entire poem ... "unused dreams" is an absolutely unforgettable expression ...

[MuSe Ampoule]

Yes, really well done! The images pop, despondent humanity stumbling along cursing at the world, just trying to get by.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

exceptional descriptives~ like a Sundance short in black and white turning into shades of gray in the arena of the human condition~