Homeless

Homeless

A Poem by Champagne
"

A picture from my daily commute

"
Sprawled
in the subway
dusty people passing by
you meditate
of nothingness.

Ageless scorn
on your face,
your crooked shape
an acrobat's delight.

"Mister O Mister
a penny in the cup"
... perhaps.

Rivers muddied by
your clouded eyes -
... keep 'em shut!

Bright lights breathe
bouncing on your skin
... yes they do.
Empty turnstiles
cold and yawning
as you slither your
unused dreams
... beneath them
... past them
waving
they do
as they do.

© 2010 Champagne



Author's Note

Champagne
This is my first attempt at breaking out of lyricism and venturing into expansive and observational poetry, where the "I' is no more the central theme. Please let me know what you think. Thanks.

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Reviews

very powerful images drawn here -
"dusty people passing by"
"Ageless scorn
on your face,
your crooked shape
an acrobat's delight."
"Empty turnstiles
cold and yawning
as you slither your
unused dreams
... beneath them"
astute...good work, this is a great poem.


Posted 6 Years Ago


very nicely captured image. and the tone indeed fits the "meditation upon nothingness" with which you open. the social shapelessness and disgrace, life reduced to muddying rivers with one's eyes, existence just as a support for bouncing lights...i'd say you painted this very well :).

Posted 6 Years Ago


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OT
very well done!!! you should venture into this more!! it was subtle, but very creative, a very clever use of words and images to catch our imaginations!! I really like the almost replies or answers - "...yes they do", "perhaps" - very nice!!

Posted 6 Years Ago


this is life poetic ~ well done

Posted 6 Years Ago


While I prefer Lyricism and rhythm with rhyme as I find them to tug at the emotions This was a great poem

Posted 6 Years Ago


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well an impressive first attempt..bold images, good flow, interesting subject matter handled with an artist hand..

Posted 6 Years Ago


I loved this, it was a reccommended twitter post and I can see why,
you capture such a sense of knowing in artistic ways :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


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. wow ... extremely vivid and extremely poignant ... is this entire poem ... "unused dreams" is an absolutely unforgettable expression ...

Posted 6 Years Ago


Yes, really well done! The images pop, despondent humanity stumbling along cursing at the world, just trying to get by.

Posted 6 Years Ago


exceptional descriptives~ like a Sundance short in black and white turning into shades of gray in the arena of the human condition~

Posted 6 Years Ago



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534 Views
12 Reviews
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Added on December 27, 2010
Last Updated on December 27, 2010
Tags: homeless, loneliness

Author

Champagne
Champagne

NJ



About
I have always wanted to be a writer since I was a child. Being a passionate person, I am smitten with literature in general and poetry in particular. I have tried my hand at writing intermittently .. more..

Writing
The Night The Night

A Poem by Champagne



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