The pessimist.

This ones just some ideas, about how you're the only person standing in your way. It's not finished but I wasn't sure how to continue. Suggestions would be appreciated!

Thrusted breath,
A floating wonder.
Against the backbone,
He perceives her strumming deaf. 
The fraud is the dreamer,
The enthusiasm slave.
Lost in the in-between.
Drifting through identities.
Through the infected mercury,
He sees his obstruction. 
Conjectures all around,
Creating a raw incentive.
He craves destruction.
He craves revenge.
Poised and ready,
This is the end. 
Piercing his dignity,
As the last petal falls. 
The rosebud that he once knew,
Is now nothing but thorns

Reviews

[Iris Sabugueiro]

The language that you used is amazing and i like the poems structure well done :)

[nigrum homonculus]

to be honest, i think the poem is perfectly fine where it is now. the wordplay is great, the vocab and style are great. if it ain't broke don't fix it. :) good read though. definitely in your element with dark poetry.