TALES FROM MY CRYPT

Stumbling through the dark night(s) of my soul I happened across a few words I jotted down here and there over the years. I found this memory particularly amusing, must have been circa 2005

12:47 PM

My favorite day of the week, Tuesday! Here I am at my favorite taco shop with two ground beef tacos and a tecate en route to see Larry. Is Larry an angel, one of God’s messengers? Well now, aren’t we all? Or, is Larry just another super freak? I sit on his obligatory  worn leather couch for an hour. I tell him what I feel needs to be addressed and he tells me about the bible. He steals quick glances at my breasts, comments on my figure and and asks me sexual favor details. Only God knows what he does with it? But he makes me laugh and he pulls no punches. He calls it prostitution when I make decisions w****s do and irresponsible when I disclose I’ve taken no action. He tells me that my sexual prowess falls short because spirit dwells within me and that all I really need to believe in is myself. He heats days old coffee from an antiquated coffeemaker and pours it into dollar store mugs. His “organizations” decor is the much favored light house theme christian’s often drown themselves in. His “organization” consists of an office building in an undeveloped section of Mesa and I’ve never seen his “partner” wondering if he exists? His services are bible based counseling, and he offers them to me for free, mine however are not, and so we just talk. Because after all, what would Jesus do?

We begin and end in prayer every week. That is, when Larry remember’s too. On the off chance days that Larry is slightly annoyed with the endless stream of failure, heart ache and self sabotage that permeates good works, he plays the God card. He believes and he wants me to too. Larry’s heard enough to know that shoving religion down the throat of an individual already choking is a mute point. So he lies in wait, pouncing with a proverb or slipping in a scripture. He attaches my situations to divinity. Some days he simple rolls his eyes back and gives me his spiel. It is these days I like my hour with Larry best. When he’s very obviously bored with the drama and just wants to get his point across. He’s real to me then, like the velveteen rabbit.

I like this old Taco shop. Not only does it have the states best crunchy ground beef tacos, it has history. The Espinoza family has made a name for themselves across the border. In food , fare and heritage. A little dollop of Mexico kerplunked on Chandler&McClintock. Any weekday at noon a line forms out the door and around the building of this hole in the wall. The floors are tiled in ceramic with dust bunny corners. Grease smudged  formica tabletops are host to mismatched chairs. Short ladies of all ages with netted black hair and sharp commands move swiftly behind the counter.

I took the opportunity to cruise the neighborhood . What I discovered is more than  just the Espinoza’s  have dolloped themselves across the border. There are streets lined with tiny houses with dirty and broken windows. Generations of Latinos sun themselves on folding chairs outside open doorways .  Descansos in great detail adorn lawns, Piles of caucasian discard can be found on nearly every single inch of rented shanty. They smile as I drive slowly by, some raise curious eyebrows and some are eager to talk.

I am amazed by the migration and all that entails, what they leave behind, the risk factor and the familial banding. Maybe this old taco shop imparts in me a sense of freedom and courage? Maybe the hot dusty  wind that bows through the unkempt patio soothes me? Maybe it’s just that it’s good authentic food, or maybe it’s because I feel o.k. when I visit? J feel like everything will be alright in those glorious few minutes of tacos and tecate on Tuesdays before Larry?

Larry was jovial and shiny. A lot of christian’s have shiny faces? Maybe it’s God?Maybe it’s the serenity they find in believing in something?  Maybe it’s just excess oil? Whatever the reason there he was all standing tall  and proud of , the 5 lbs thinner  he was than last week. Shiny as the sun that  had just beat down on me in Espinozas’ patio.  I made a list of issues long enough to fill the space of the hour.