Take the Time

Since moving back to my much-missed small country town of 12 years, I am enjoying a hiatus from work due to not having a job yet. So I'm a lady of leisure for now and Taking the Time ...

Take the time to breathe salty air, 

sticky sweet with sweat

Wipe droplets from your forehead

and flick them to the ethers

Watch them settle like sleeping fireflies

on wafts of sea spray

Take the time to see all that lies before you

mountains like swollen bellies, lying supine

lapping up rays from a benevolent sun,

while clouds like stealthy smokers

cast shadow over green

Take the time to feel warmth, serenity

Soft blankets of breezes wrapping around you,

like mother’s lullaby -

her words resting upon your heart

in devoted supplication

Take the time to hear trees talking to each other

Silent sentinels to the untrained ear,

but that rustling is laden with knowledge and history;

if only one knew how to tap the armour

of an ironbark soldier

Take the time today

because tomorrow never comes

Reviews

[k]

This is a really lovely poem. There is some beautiful imagery in here and it has a very pleasant tone throughout. One suggestion is that you think about punctuation and where you're missing it in this piece. There are a lot of moments that run together and get muddled that could really use a period or comma to create much needed separation. Other than that though, really nice work!

[GypsyMoonCat]

Thanks so much k, I have taken your suggestions on board and amended accordingly. After reading it again, I too, found it stilted and jolty lol! I think it flows better now :)

[Great Aunt Astri]

A very succinct poem. You have used some lovely word pictures to take us with you, breathing, seeing, feeling, hearing all that is around. Yes indeed, 'Take the time today, because tomorrow never comes.' I loved this poem.

[GypsyMoonCat]

Thanks Great Aunt Astri, I really appreciate your kind comments :)