At The Top Of The Stairs

He came home from work and found her at the top of the stairs, looking outside the window, at the blue horizon beyond the clouds. He wrapped his arms around her waist and smelled the scent of lavender on her neck. Her soft red hair rippled over her shoulder and they swayed in a dream-like trance. Her beauty was dazzling and her touch was like fire.
“Welcome home.” she whispered with a smile on her lips.
“I’m back.” He replied with a kiss on her neck.
She broke from his embrace and took his hand, leading him to the room. They were like teenagers, shyly smiling, hearts pounding.

He saw her in tears at the top of the stairs and he rushed to her side and asked her what was wrong. She laughed at herself and wiped away her tears. Brushing her hair away from her face, his heart pounded with worry. Why is she crying? He thought.
With a chuckle and a wide smile she said. “I’m pregnant.”
He laughed and drew out a deep breath, relieved she wasn’t hurt. “Darling, that’s wonderful news!”
He drew her close for a tight embrace and tears filled their eyes. With a hand on her womb they spent the night side by side, talking about their future plans and dreams for their new family.

They were fighting at the top of the stairs. It was a petty fight; one that comes with every marriage. They shouted and cursed, one hurting the other. When no more words would come they stared at each other in silence. She ran her fingers through her hair and huffed in frustration. Her eyes stared hard on the walls and he knew she was stopping herself from crying. He softened, regretting his harsh words. He stepped closer towards her and embraced her. Her body was tense in anger but still he embraced her. Minutes passed and her body relaxed, and moments later her arms slowly wrapped around him. His chest was moist with her tears and they embraced in silence. The fire was over and he buried his face in her hair. Sweat and lavender and tears filled his mind as he brushed away wisps of her red hair from her face and their faces drew closer in a forgiving kiss.

It’s a girl. She thought, brimming with happiness. She heard his car pulling in the driveway and she rushed down to tell him.
And there she fell from the top of the stairs.
Her hair was splayed around her face as she landed on the floor. He opened the door to find her there, blood seeping from her blue dress. He ran to her side and took her in his arms. With a frantic mind he called 911, crying as she lay pale on his lap.

He stood there at the top of the stairs and there she was, beautiful and smiling. Tears streaked down his cheeks as he looked at her. His grief gripped on his heart like a vise. He walked towards her picture at the top of the stairs and he set down beside it a small vase of lavender, and he cried as he thought about the child and the life he knew he now would never have…

Reviews

[Complexity]

I really got pulled into this. Very good!

[-Scribe in Style-]

Its interesting how we relate memories to a place.. and how the meaning of a place changes over time, even if it is as simple as a staircase.. It is very good idea and portrayal of development however more detail to the description would shape it better, it seems like something is missing. Nonetheless, I enjoyed reading it.

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

There was just enough of an ominous feeling throughout the story to keep me fearing that this wasn't going to end well! I think you might want to add a little more to the moment when she falls, maybe describe her sense of panic as she starts to tumble just to make it more dramatic? It seemed a bit anticlimactic compared to all of the description in the other scenes. But I also like the succinct style.

[StarSandwich]

Wonderful, you captivated the emotion in this. It was worth the read.

[Omegax45]

Wonderful. Just wonderful. There isn't much else to be said here other than a bit of a touch up. Otherwise, wonderful story.

[Clare the Artist]

Dude this is awesome. I'm completely hooked now, but the no quotations when the character was speaking, kinda bothered me slightly.

[Zachary_James]

This id utterly briliant, great descriptions. The only problem i found was when the character spoke there was no quotation marks. For example:
It's a girl ( It should be like this, " It's a girl" Those miner mistakes can be fixed. Otherwise amazing job.

[clairvoyantmars]

oh. actually, those parts were supposed to be italicized but i guess it got changed when i copy-pasted it to the website from word. will edit it in a bit. thanks for your review!

[Jesse Jacques]

i absolutely love your story. very tearjerking and it was just a wonderful read. great job

[Veronica Chandler]

Your story took me on a lovely, emotional ride; I felt like I was on a very enjoyable roller coaster ride with the ups and downs and twists and turns. I very much enjoyed the story, especially the lines,
"Sweat and lavender and tears filled his mind as he brushed away wisps of her red hair from her face and their faces drew closer in a forgiving kiss."
Very well done!

[Graciebeth]

OMG what can I say, that is so emotional. I actually had tears in my eyes at the end. That is powerful writing, well done.