Awake

Its 4:00 AM.

Awake

 

 

Insomnia

Like a plague

Sounds of sleep

Why can’t they sink

And stay

 

Eyes

Dry like dust

Draw the blinds

The mind does say

Yellow crust

Like glue

It binds

And dries

Its in the way

 

Body

Tired of breath

Full of pain

Must find this rest

Or bend and break

 

Mind

Like a top

Spinning like a stone

Flung to sea

Skip it

Like the sleep

Author's Note

I find sleep evading me recently, figured I would utilize my extra time. Critiques welcomed.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

love the humorist in the last verse .. i awaken around 2 am frequently .. and if i can not return to sleep in not more than 20 min .. i skip it! ;) i have always been a morning person so am most productive and creative in those wee hours ... in the second verse (i don't know why) this line seems out of place .. not quite but almost redundant ... throwing in rhyming words within free verse can be very augmenting .. this isn't quite like that for me ... all the rest is quite descriptive and relatable .. i feel it all ..especially the yellow goop that glues ... again that last verse is courageous .. at my age tho ..i don't miss that sleep at all .. i simply take another nap later on ;))
E.

[coffeedigest]

Thank you E! It means a lot that you would take the time to review in such depth! What line exactly did you find slightly redundant? Or was it the entire second verse? Either way thank you so much for your constructive criticism! If this ever plagues you again, enjoy your naps! :)

Josh

[Einstein Noodle]

oops ..my Alzheimers showing :} last line of second verse ... rhymes with fourth line same verse ...

[L. Michelle Corp]

I enjoyed this, and, could relate to this at one point. You captured what insomnia felt like to me, perfectly in my opinion.

[terry smith]

Sometimes the words keep me up,so I get up to write them down..after a couple of days with very little sleep I will manage to get one good night in. I can very much relate to this well done!!

[Heart of gold]

Well writen love the diversity of your work.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Not being able to sleep isn't such a bad thing, when one can muster a poem out of it, right?

another coffee lover,
Kelly

[coffeedigest]

Oh how true it is, poetry comes at a price sometimes. Thanks for your kind words.

Josh

[Coyote Poetry]

I know this feeling.
"Mind
Like a top
Spinning like a stone
Flung to sea
Skip it
Like the sleep"
When sleep is far away and the mind won't stop. We wish to find sleep. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[alifeacoustic]

Such a terrible thing that afflicts us all from time to time, wonderfully penned. Mind racing, body tired. must rest or bend and break, yep, I definitely relate to this.
very well written. thank you for sharing it with us.

[Insight "MH"]

I am really sorry for you, but thanks to Insomnia which made you write this terrific piece.

[Droll Prole]

Im dealing with this lately, I hope the insomnia breaks for you soon. I like the last stanza especially.

[coffeedigest]

Thanks for the review! I hope yours passes as well, never fun.

[Droll Prole]

Nope sure isn't :)