After Strand

After Strand

A Poem by Coltron

I open my eyes and draw the curtains
To an empty stage.
I take two steps that echo;
I cross the line of curtain drawn.

The actors, I tell in solemn tone,
Have not arrived,
And will not for some time.

I stand and wait, brows furrowed,
Hands clasped before my mouth
To hide a grin.

The people watch, ensnared
And silent.
Lights point to hardwood floor
And my bare skull.


There is no movement but mine –
Two steps behind the line and off
The edge of their perception.

I’ll take with me the sound of
Two steps;
Leave with them
Two echoes,
An afterthought.


© 2008 Coltron



My Review

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Featured Review

I like it very much. I especially like the last two lines. "Two echoes, An afterthought." You did a nice job keeping the thought and flow throughout the entire poem and that is what keeps the readers attention. You also have good descrition like this line "The people watch, ensnared" Which is a nice descrition I can picture as it would happen that all attention would be fucused on the person who is on the stage because their attention can go nowhere else.

A good write.

Posted 10 Years Ago


5 of 5 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

you described so perfectly the essence of the moment! A very very very good write! Again!

Posted 7 Years Ago


love the flow in this,
to me, the closing stanza holds the most strength and power

overall, its written pretty well..great details and love the imagery.
good job


Posted 7 Years Ago


For someone who is still learning, you hold much talent. I love the flow of the poem and the imagery being presented. The backstage before a show begins. The feeling of the lives of people lingering in the air still is amazing. Great write =]

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think it needs work, but much like the frame of a sculpture needs only the finished plates of metal, etc..

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Colton, I like this. It actually makes me feel nervous, as if I am the one on stage. You did a nice job of vividly describing what that feels like.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I am one of those daft so and so's who grins when enjoying a poem. Even if its sad. I grinned through yours.
My favourite, is the last verse. Very cool play on words.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like that both of the lines in the last stanza that begin with the word "two" only have two words. That's sheer genius! Also, I like your diction: "ensnared", "perception", and "afterthought" are all good word choices.
I was in Ms. Egan's English 12 class 2 years ago. I can see that she's still influencing people as she influenced me. Good job!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Having been on stage a quite a number of times, I can really relate to this poem. I haven't personally had to address the audience with such bad news, but the feeling I get out of "The Stage" is so real.
I really, really like this piece.

Keep up the good work, pal.

_A

Posted 10 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

i agree with te review under me, that was my favorite line too.

u go girl.

Posted 10 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

wow. this is great. I love the lines "I'll take with me the sound of
Two steps;
Leave with them
Two echoes, "


Posted 10 Years Ago


3 of 4 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 5, 2008

Author

Coltron
Coltron

Colorado Springs, CO



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Still learning. Please give honest criticism; I'm not one to take offense. more..

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