A Nocturne in Yellow

Funny what the mind can paint in vivid color, that sometimes seems unrealistic, but is actually the truth.

She finally painted her nocturne in yellow ochre,

Having used every drop of grey or blue or black,

Yet so eager to portray evening as an emotion.

She thought it through, how ideas change hue

Once turned about a few within the inner view.

 

Perhaps a bit of night truly can be as bright

As early morning sun, If when the light is low,

You crawl into the bed where he lies his head:

One who lends you the key to what is true.

With him lighting the way... dark times are few.

 

She finally re-painted her nocturne in gold,

To stand for the sensation of touching heaven-

Pure light raining down on a sleepy night town

Just on the two lovers... no, maybe others, too.

If night feels black, something must have gone awry.

You'd best go find the one who can repaint your sky.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Constructive criticism is welcome. Just one of those thoughts that came, and I wrote it down as poetry.

Reviews

[Omar]

I listened to this poem as an audio version.
Simply splendid. I could just close my eyes and feel raindrops on my skin, scorching, colored in warm amber and gold. This poem is a painting by itself, and it paints a sword of gold cutting through the charred night sky, a glimpse of salvation in the sleepy ebony nights. Absolutely brilliant!
And your audio poems are genius. You have such a melodic and soothing voice wich helps in conveying the raw emotions of the poem. Well done C :) Brilliant..

O

[Adela Muresan]

This is so beautiful.
The imagery is apsolutly fascinating, and the poem takes the reader in the world belonging to the verses.

Wonderful write.

A.M.

[Fran Marie]

She finally re-painted her nocturne in gold,

To stand for the sensation of touching heaven-

Pure light raining down on a sleepy night town



Quite a lovely piece, Constance, wonderfully expressed

and Beautifully penned~ Very nice indeed!

Fran Marie

[Emily Rose]

Ah Constance, this is so lovely! It's got built-in synesthesia - music as color! I absolutely love the idea of a nocturne, a song of the night, flecked with YELLOW of all colors because the composor got tired of black and grey. Day becomes night, dark becomes light, color becomes song. What an incredible idea! The last two lines are my favorite, of course - so wonderfully hopeful! Excellent job!

[Ari]

The last stanza of this really makes the poem, in my opinion.

[Ralphy]

Wow, Impressed by the artistic talent you have achieved during the time I've read your writings. Your words flow like unrestricted water, your imagery like paint dancing on a canvas, your rythm like a heartbeat of pure emotions. Very nice write Constance

[Raja]

I as if started reading with this poem with this line 'You'd best go find the one who can repaint your sky', and you see, I finally found this written there for me. I love the poem Constance.

Thank you.

Raja.

[Michael]

Hi C-

Very nicely done. I love the couplet as a way to end each stanza, makes for a nice turn. In the first stanza you even incorporated an internal rhyme in the couplet lines, was this a choice? I thought it was cleaver at any rate - might be nice to add to the other couplets too, but you know I am always taken with little things like that, it might be lost on most readers.

The metaphor you construct with colors is very strong, it opens the door for everyone to understand your meaning.

I really struggle to find any negative or thought for improvement as it is so well constructed, let just ask a point out the extra line in the third stanza. It is in no way a problem, just the only point of imbalance in the whole of it. Like I said, I was pressed to see anything at all.

[Face In A Crowd]

That's pretty good. ANother promising writer for sure.