The Soul (Unbinding)

A poem for the "poetry and lyrical challenge" group, where we were given the title "The Soul" and the theme "inner peace".

Silver thread, needle of the eye,
power encumbered by little mass,
uncharted terrain we shall canvass
wholly when in dormancy we lie

Hunger pains no bread may stave
fester within its deepest caches;
self-lie crumbles to windblown ashes:
we see each man to his own's a slave

Peace then rests within its control--
a force with no tangible form on display--
we must comprehend how wee ones play
to recall this higher conquest of the soul

Reviews

[Lorraine]

You write with such depth that at some points, I get totally lost. It flows amazingly well with all the strong words and appropriate pauses. It was nice reading such an inspiring and meaningful piece.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[Alicante lullaby]

deep...serene..flowy...windblown ashes...very intelligent...

[M.a. Benjamin]

Very deep, and very well written. I enjoyed the interpretation of what a soul may look like dissected. Keep plugging.

[darem aq.]

This is quite brilliant.
it begins by an approach of honest contradicting facts, yet laying the path ahead for a greater meaning. Then kicks in a much heavier wave of darkness, where the self exploring becomes terrifying, and ends with fact laced with vagueness. and finally, a finale of colliding conclusions, subtle but not stable, and a wake up call.

Astonishing !
great write

[RAWR!]

i like the images i got in my head while reading this,
'self-lie crumbles to windblown ashes' was nice
and i thought:
'uncharted terrain we shall canvass' was clever.
thanks for sharing

[deeps]

This is quite the powerful and deep write here.
I like this I really like your last stanza the best.
This is brillany and well stated!

[MagiCrystal]

Bellisimo... Hermoso... Bravo !

[kjelland13]

Beautiful, I really like the use of children's innocence to convey the way to inner peace, I look forward to reading more of your writing

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

we must comprehend how wee ones play
to recall this higher conquest of the soul

the ending is so perfect... I always say that children can teach us again how to live and enjoy life. it may be a bit harder once you lose your innocents and jaded but it is possible.

The poem as a whole is really excellent.... certainly shows the tolls life can bring in your unique poetic way.