Feels the same

Feels the same

A Story by Jada Johnson
"

you ever feel like the world is spinning but you feel like things still remain the same?

"
there she stood everything was quiet not a sound around nothing heard externally.. simply the sound of all the madness in her mind. all the thoughts she couldn’t quiet and the music she couldn’t turn off, the regret that insisted on nagging, the memories that crushed her soul, and the love that had nowhere to go.

 now things just feel like a hit and run,  she was the only one left behind but she picked herself up off the road and limped to safety trying to find the pieces she gave you lying in a ditch. 
she dusts them off, puts them back together, and try’s to get on with her life like always. at that moment, her eyes have lost its ability to blink and her lungs have forgotten how to breathe, and she realizes that the world is much bigger than any pain you feel. where must she go from here, she tells her self you’d think I moved on, but there are times when it hits her vigorously she can’t move. just when she thought she could move on with herself, she supposes it will all make sense one day. 

it's not even about her heart anymore, her soul, it is what breaks her now, all the reasons she should start moving on, all losing sense, all slowly gone. her body is weak, she feels like her heart is giving up. she wanted to be a drop in the rain, a pang in your heart, with the water beating on the window pane, taking you back to our start. it was on this day she decided she was tired of the sidelines. life had been passing her by for some time and she wanted to feel it again. it was also on this day she decided she was fragile and easily shaken, alone and emptied of everything she had. but she’s gone. 

the girl that now stands in her place has strong steps and steady hands, steel in her eyes and irons under her skin. the energy that flowed through her veins when her body started craving your touch again made her believe that maybe if she held you close enough, her pain will release. there was a time when words were easy where things could flow without a care in the world but when she's around you all words leave her and she's left with a head full of misery, air colours have changed and she has rearranged but she still “ feels the same.”

© 2018 Jada Johnson



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Featured Review

I know this was meant to be a short story, but it read more like a poem. I don't think it detracts from the raw, painful feel of the story either. It was just so succinct and in your face, much like poetry at times. I got the feeling that the narrator was caught in a cycle of depression and anxiety, maybe I'm just projecting though. I really thought it was moving and very relatable. You captured angst very well and I hope you keep up the deep and thoughtful pieces! Happy writing!! -- C

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jada Johnson

8 Months Ago

Thank you, I'm really glad you were able to relate to it!



Reviews

I know this was meant to be a short story, but it read more like a poem. I don't think it detracts from the raw, painful feel of the story either. It was just so succinct and in your face, much like poetry at times. I got the feeling that the narrator was caught in a cycle of depression and anxiety, maybe I'm just projecting though. I really thought it was moving and very relatable. You captured angst very well and I hope you keep up the deep and thoughtful pieces! Happy writing!! -- C

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jada Johnson

8 Months Ago

Thank you, I'm really glad you were able to relate to it!
This is so great, you created such strong visual and sensory depictions that I felt as if your words happened in my own memory.You captured the physical, emotional, and mental experience in a very talented way.

Also, your word choices have a musicality and sense of rhythm that read in a way that emphasizes almost a pace or sense of time/duration without it ever really being said or obviously suggested.
Then your use of metaphors on metaphors, and tiny repetition like "feels like a hit and run" |"are times when it hits her vigorously she can't move" enrich the contextual layers and depths. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Posted 10 Months Ago


LOVED the imagery and the passion with which the poem was written. Some of the lines stood out and added a metaphorical beauty to the whole work as a whole. Keep writing

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Jada Johnson

11 Months Ago

i love your insight on this!

& thank you for taking the time to review my poem :)
“Simply the sound of all the madness in her mind.”- raw, poignant line. Great ‘hit and run ‘ metaphor in this well-written story. First two lines of second paragraph are brilliant. Love the stream of consciousness style and flow of this story and the self-analytical internal monologue of the protagonist. Eloquent with beautiful imagery. Well- done!

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jada Johnson

11 Months Ago

thank you Annette, i really appreciate you analyzing my work to the fullest.. this means a lot.
Annette Pisano-Higley

11 Months Ago

My pleasure to read your work Jada.
It's obvious that you're a poet. Even in stories your words have a rhythm and a certain flowery quality about them that makes the words beautiful to read. There are a lot of grammatical and punctuation mistakes. If you partnered with someone who was good at editing you'd be a force to be reckoned with!

Posted 11 Months Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jada Johnson

11 Months Ago

thank you for taking the time to review this, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Added on October 30, 2017
Last Updated on January 26, 2018

Author

Jada Johnson
Jada Johnson

Toronto, Canada



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"where the title meets the ending" I'm open to well-intentioned reviews and id be more than willing to give you that in return. for the grammar police, i want you to know that i appreciate y.. more..

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