deep in it

his locked eyes, begin to drown my insides and he’s only known me for quite some time  

I told him he’s in for a surprise, as I sip on this wine and fantasize 

I want you to be mine, in the middle of the night is when she’s most alive 

lets lay down and pretend my bedroom ceiling is the dark blue sky 

she hates when it’s time to say goodbye, and it’s known that you take me higher than any drug 

it’s a Saturday night and she’s lovesick when we kiss it reminds me of noni jean in that chick flick

you are the one I pick, and when we’re apart it still feels like we’re in sync 

I know you don’t like when I over-drink, and we both equally hate it when I overthink 

but I promise you I’ll be there no matter how hard things get, and I’m happy that we decided to take a shot at this 

they tell me you’ll never know the exact moment when your life changes, but I knew the moment we started flipping through these pages

its crazy I’m the one you considered dating, some nights I wish life was more carefree, and I was somewhere extremely faded

and at times when I’m feeling jaded, I won’t hesitate to search for some stimulation 

I know I’ll always be your favourite, one who's always kept you captivated 

and you forever leave my heart racing, you’re charm and wit, far from calling it quits, because I’m so deep in it 

 

 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I very much enjoyed your riffing & rhyming spiel that feels musical & "rap-like" (for lack of a better word!) Good use of word sounds, as well as rhyme. I like the way this tells a story that mostly makes sense (with a few tangents) . . . for me, that's better than the riffing that seems random. You use great details! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Emily L]

I can tell you are a very skilled writer in the art of love. Love really does make you sick, as you mentioned, in a good way I suppose. It's nice to read poetry like this, to know someone has the same feelings. Really nice write Jada, loved it!

[conversations with her pen..]

your kind words are very appreciated, and I'm glad you got to relate to this as well!

[Asante]

Kinda funny thought: this had a SZA, Syd from the Internet kind of vibe to it; like, I could hear an R&B backdrop going with this flawlessly.

I dig it!

[conversations with her pen..]

its crazy because i love listening to sza a& syd, both so amazing..

thank you for the feedback!

[Erika]

I really enjoyed this one. I felt the intensity behind the writing, or maybe the intensity came from what the writing made me remember.....

great work

[conversations with her pen..]

thank you & I'm glad you were able to relate to it!

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Absolutely deep and passionately penned. If the love the true then definitely you would be deep in it.

[conversations with her pen..]

i totally agree & thank you

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Your most welcome.

[JC]

Makes me nostalgic for those early times in a relationship that just makes you feel so great. enjoyed the read. Good to see fellow Canadians here too.

[conversations with her pen..]

I'm glad you enjoyed this, and yes i noticed i haven't really came across a lot of Canadian writers

[Chase Dylan]

*Welcome to "Pure Rhymes" Thanks for joining, great to have you...!*

I must say... A lilting rhyme scheme, and well-breathed lines... Relatable word choice... The first half, especially, very tight with the syllabic slant... The switch into a "longer" flow on each "bar" for the end is a superb technique, imo, for wrap-ups... It all makes for a smartly put-together verse... The chick flicks get us in sync to be even more carefree and jaded, I think... Solid write...

[conversations with her pen..]

wow.. thanks for putting so much thought into this

i appreciate this and I'm glad you enjoyed it

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you for the time taken to write it...! You are most welcome

[DIVYA]

I love the expressions and images drawn. Loved the rhyming too. Thank you for the lovely poetry Jada.

[conversations with her pen..]

thank you so much

[Tony Jordan]

Tis very lyrical - certainly could be a song - well done Jaja.

[conversations with her pen..]

thank you!

[Blank_fortunes]

I appreciated this for a different reason it helped me to recall time in my life where before i met my wife I could get fucked up f**k something and just let it be. They'd call my house phone and leave a message if I wasn't there or either hang up before the beep. But when you deep in it, it do be different.

[conversations with her pen..]

well im happy that you could relate to it!

[Farhan Shaikh]

This is lovely..I like this piece..very well written

[conversations with her pen..]

thank you, glad you enjoyed it!