The Life and Death of the Crooked Typewriter

A quirky story about a crooked typewriter.

When I was born, my mother didn't tilt the way that the doctor asked her to, so I came out all crooked and bent. When the doctor set me on the table, he realized with a frown that, no matter how he set me up, I kept tilting to one side or the other. Consequently, I was rudely chucked into an old, peeling cardboard box together with a half-finished carton of milk, a loaf of expired bread and a stained piece of tissue (of most dubious origins). There I laid for three days and three nights, before a wrinkly old man with a yellow cap and matching overalls came to take the box away.

 

I had my first peek at the sky on my fourth day, and on the fifth, a young lad with too much dirt on his face peered into the cardboard box, as I peered out at a face that had too much dirt on it. He smiled a crooked smile as he lifted my crooked body out of the (now rather crooked) cardboard box.

 

Immediately I noticed that something was wrong. As he walked, I kept lurching from side to side, as if his legs or arms were uneven. Just as I was wondering, he swung me onto the wire rack behind his bicycle, and it is at this most opportune time that I saw the cause of my lurching - one of his legs was made entirely of wood! 

 

I see! This must be why he picked me up from the cardboard box! He, too, must have understood the deep sense of rejection and loneliness that only an incomplete piece of creation could have felt! My heart bloomed with the joy of finding a soul mate. With his head full of ideas and my mechanisms really to roll, surely this marks the beginning of a perfect "happily ever after". As I continued my daydreams of "happily ever after", the steady rhythm of the bicycle and the whistling of the wind slowly lulled me to sleep.

 

When I regained consciousness, someone was tilting me from side to side. The surface below me felt solid, like a heavy wooden desk. My vision slowly regained focus. The person (who was now beginning to inspect my keys) is apparently an old, well-groomed gentleman who wore a gold-rimmed monocle to the left of his nose.

 

"How about it?" I heard an excited voice from behind. "How much is it worth?"

 

"Not much, I'm afraid. Even though it's still functioning, the lack of balance in this typewriter makes it impossible to type efficiently." The old gentleman replied, his voice a gentle crackling sound. "But I will offer you six pence for it."

 

"Six pence!" The voice exclaimed. "A-At least ten pence, please!"

 

"And that is four pence too much, my good lad!" The old gentleman exclaimed in return, then his voice calmed down. "Six pence is my last offer, and it would be very wise to take it, boy."

 

I heard a sigh, then felt familiar hands turning me around. I found myself facing a crooked smile. Impossible! Could it be? Was I getting dumped for a mere six pence?

 

"Well buddy," the crooked smile formed into different shapes, "I guess this is where we bid farewell!"

 

The cash register went ka-ching, the clunk-clunk-clunk of the wooden feet gradually dimmed, then the door went ching-a-ling! My heart went ba-dum, ba...dum, ba......dum.

 

The old gentleman placed me upon a work bench and gently pried my case open.

 

"So, now... what can we do with this mess?" He mused quietly to himself while picking up his work tools.

 

Ah, it tickles a little... I thought, as my vision slowly faded away.

Author's Note

This story has no plot, no particular aim and no conclusion. It started with a title that suddenly sprung to mind, and what follows is merely a natural flow of things. Do share what you feel & etc. Thanks for reading! c:

Reviews

[Penslinger]

WoW! I loved the story~very inspiring for my own creative voice
I love how you described the process too
I mostly write poetry that forms from a single line

[East of Eden]

Heart, humour, innocence, quirkiness, originality, flow, brilliance! i love it.

[M. Anne]

I like it! Very interesting. I love writing spur of the moment stories, and this one is really good.

[thecoolone52]

sometimes the best pieces and the best parties are spur of the moment kind of things....... no matter what our teachers taught us in school........... thanks for entering my contest i enjoyed the piece

[K.F. Draven]

interesting! :D