Too Late

Too Late

A Poem by CRZ

Hey. You seem happy today, I'm glad you're feeling'
the feeling of peace. 
I need a piece of your mind for a minute.
My soul is happy and since your happy, I'm hoping you can put some in it.
Hey. I guess you don't hear me, I'm friendly no need to fear me.

Hey what's up, are you sad? are you feeling down?

I'm here if you need a ear or maybe two
I've been here for you for about two years.
You never pay me attention, I guess is because 
you're sad and you don't want anybody bothering
you or is it just me. I'm here but I need to jut breathe

yooooo, are you mad today ? you looked heated?
You need help with anything? I have your back if anything
hello? Can't understand my words. This silence isn't cute
I know you're mad or whatever but don't put this voice on mute.
okay, whatever. I know this can't last forever. I'll sever who ever
but then again who am I to you?

Today, I am just walking. Walking with no particular location
I started walking and I heard someone screaming from behind me


sounded like it was saying " Jello , Mellow , Fellow or Yellow"
I don't know it was something like that, oh well.
It was too late.

© 2013 CRZ



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Featured Review

Dear CRZ,

How are you today? I saw this poem in my news feed and the title caught my eye because I surely can identify with that title. I must point out that in the first stanza, third line, change "your" to "you're." I'm supposing in same line, the word "some," refers to the peace the narrator is talking to. This line right here seems loose, "I'm friendly no need to fear me." I feel like that stanza can do without it, but that's my opinion. Overall, this stanza to me reminds me of a poisonous relationship in where there's so much giving, very little receiving.

In the third stanza, in the first line, change "a" to "an." In the third line of that stanza, remove the word, "is," as it is idly there. The last line, change "jut" to "just." The second stanza reminds me of someone being invisible and imprisoned by another's emotional episodes.

This line was a tad awkward, "you looked heated." This is awkward too, "don't put this voice on mute." There's no structure rhyme scheme from the beginning so no need to make anything rhyme now.

Anywho, the feeling is definitely something one can relate to trying to help someone, but not being able to. I liked the meaning and indeed was a good read.

Sincerely JazzSoulKeke,

God bless



Posted 3 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Tionge Rosalie Johnson

3 Years Ago

I have to say your feedback was the best I've read on here. So, I'm going to have to agree with what.. read more



Reviews

i like this piece, well written CRZ, keep it going

Posted 1 Year Ago


"Too late" the title made me read it. And we can relate it so well.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Who likes to be ignored? I'd rather have someone turn to me and say 'beat it' than to be totally ignored! They say that what goes around, comes around. Your poem broaches the perfect example! I did not hear anyone calling you either! Nice write CRZ

Posted 2 Years Ago


Nice write,repeatable and inspirational. Well done.

Posted 3 Years Ago


This poem is very relatable,
sometimes we give all our attention to someone, and we don't get any in return. I know everyone meets someone like that eventually. The funny thing is, by the time they realize you've always been there for them, its already too late... and you explained rightfully so in this poem ^_^
I like how it sounds like your talking to me directly, its a very unique take on this piece

Posted 3 Years Ago


Its like you are talking to me directly.
I can relate

Posted 3 Years Ago


A slice of life -- flows as a stream of consciousness and a need to connect with another human. Simple, powerful final line.

Posted 3 Years Ago


" I need a piece of your mind for a minute" I love this line

Posted 3 Years Ago


Wow. Technically, there are some spelling errors all throughout the poem, but it was very minimal and very fixable. Poetically, your write is very casual but meaningful. I like the topic that you choose and how you narrate a heartbreaking love of someone who made himself available for another and was taken for granted. It's with poems like this that emotions are very real and raw. It summed up beautifully in the ending, too, with a few words saying, "It was too late." I like it. :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


Ay dawg i hear you. the message is behind the words. so dont fret about anything at all coz we all live and learn. Salute!

Posted 3 Years Ago



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Added on June 20, 2013
Last Updated on June 20, 2013

Author

CRZ
CRZ

New York, NY



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Poet & Artist Thou shall not rest until I make my whole fam rich more..

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A Poem by CRZ



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