Too Late

Too Late

A Poem by CRZ

Hey. You seem happy today, I'm glad you're feeling'
the feeling of peace. 
I need a piece of your mind for a minute.
My soul is happy and since your happy, I'm hoping you can put some in it.
Hey. I guess you don't hear me, I'm friendly no need to fear me.

Hey what's up, are you sad? are you feeling down?

I'm here if you need a ear or maybe two
I've been here for you for about two years.
You never pay me attention, I guess is because 
you're sad and you don't want anybody bothering
you or is it just me. I'm here but I need to jut breathe

yooooo, are you mad today ? you looked heated?
You need help with anything? I have your back if anything
hello? Can't understand my words. This silence isn't cute
I know you're mad or whatever but don't put this voice on mute.
okay, whatever. I know this can't last forever. I'll sever who ever
but then again who am I to you?

Today, I am just walking. Walking with no particular location
I started walking and I heard someone screaming from behind me


sounded like it was saying " Jello , Mellow , Fellow or Yellow"
I don't know it was something like that, oh well.
It was too late.

© 2013 CRZ



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Featured Review

Dear CRZ,

How are you today? I saw this poem in my news feed and the title caught my eye because I surely can identify with that title. I must point out that in the first stanza, third line, change "your" to "you're." I'm supposing in same line, the word "some," refers to the peace the narrator is talking to. This line right here seems loose, "I'm friendly no need to fear me." I feel like that stanza can do without it, but that's my opinion. Overall, this stanza to me reminds me of a poisonous relationship in where there's so much giving, very little receiving.

In the third stanza, in the first line, change "a" to "an." In the third line of that stanza, remove the word, "is," as it is idly there. The last line, change "jut" to "just." The second stanza reminds me of someone being invisible and imprisoned by another's emotional episodes.

This line was a tad awkward, "you looked heated." This is awkward too, "don't put this voice on mute." There's no structure rhyme scheme from the beginning so no need to make anything rhyme now.

Anywho, the feeling is definitely something one can relate to trying to help someone, but not being able to. I liked the meaning and indeed was a good read.

Sincerely JazzSoulKeke,

God bless



Posted 3 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Tionge Rosalie Johnson

3 Years Ago

I have to say your feedback was the best I've read on here. So, I'm going to have to agree with what.. read more



Reviews

Interesting. Perhaps we fail to see those that speak to us and instead grow mute...and then they no longer understand our words. Too late for comprehension in the end...

Posted 3 Years Ago


Its sad but it shows you a picture you can see.99

Posted 3 Years Ago


It was really very nice......thoughtful......and yes some of those typos are there but i enjoyed the read! :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


Very good poem, although some grammar issues but very good.
I liked the way each stanza told a different story.
It seems the main character always looked for her in every moment, but received no answer. Your poem let me picture the scene:
I imagine a guy, sending messages to the girl, hoping her to respond. He somehow know that she is not all right, but she never answers. What i don't know is what he is for her. A friend, boyfriend?
I also want to say, that I feel a little identified with this poem since something simillar happened to me, I just didn't know what was foing on with her! and when I asked, she said she had nothig.
Then I realized that I must remain silent, to let her tranquilize and then tell me what was going on.
There's also something I didn't totally liked as well and that is the way the poem finished. Maybe I didn't understan something? Lol!
Anyway, excelent job, keep going like this.

Regards,

Fernando

Posted 3 Years Ago


You don't need that apostrophe after feeling, unless you are going to drop the g. And you accidentally left the s out on just a little later. Other than that, This was great! I have seen so much of this, and it's so true! You are so good with emotions, it was very real. Keep up the good work! :) ;) :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


Good write.....some grammar issues, but other than that I really enjoyed it. It speaks very loudly of someone that's been ignored and misheard......good work!

Posted 3 Years Ago


This felt like lyrics to me, it was a pretty good piece. I could see the honestly along with disposition in the poets requests throughout the piece. It had kind of this helplessness to be heard but this ability to heal and move on towards the end.. I liked it.

Posted 3 Years Ago


This began upbeat and then the nature of it descended in concordance with the emotions you represent. Very good write!

Posted 3 Years Ago


I thought this was an incredibly sweet poem. Though I expected a different ending so I guess I found that a bit disappointing. But all the stanzas leading up to it sounded so affectionate...

Posted 3 Years Ago



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Added on June 20, 2013
Last Updated on June 20, 2013

Author

CRZ
CRZ

New York, NY



About
Poet & Artist Thou shall not rest until I make my whole fam rich more..

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A Poem by CRZ



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