Womanholic

Womanholic

A Story by C-Trainer
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A guys perspective of a love story.

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Womanholic

by Craig Trainer

 

            I don’t know what it is about a woman that drives me so crazy. That’s crazy in a good way, well in my mind anyway. I guess if you asked some of them, they would say that I’m just another perverted creeper. You know, a man-hater’s stereotyped vision of a male. It’s not like that though, I love women. I don’t know how else to say it, if there were meetings for liking women too much, I’d be the first to stand up and say, “I’m Bobby Phaulson, and I’m a womanholic.

            I’m the only male in my family. My pops split before I could make a memory of him. He raised my three sisters, and made it through the hard part with me, but then he just split. I don’t understand it, and my mom and sisters don’t have any answers for me, it’s not like I’m eight anymore, I’m twenty-two, I can handle the truth. Jenna used to tell me he left because I would pee on him every time he changed my diaper, and wouldn’t do it to anyone else. It always made me laugh, s**t, I still laugh when she says it to me.

            All of my sisters, Jenna, Katie, and Ashley, are older than me, which I guess is the reason why they still “look out” for me. Jenna is twenty-four, and she and I are very close; she is my best friend, as corny as that may sound. She is a beautiful woman, inside and out. I keep telling her that she should do some sort of modeling, or something along those lines. She has the type of hair that she can do absolutely anything with, and still has it look good. Jenna has the weirdest colored eyes too, green with a yellowish tint, which she says are her favorite feature. She is also intelligent, she didn’t want to be the cute dumb girl growing up, so she studied real hard in school and got good grades.

            Caitlynn is my middle sister, but we all call her Katie because she hates they way her name is spelled. Katie is hands down the smartest person in our family. She’s only a few months away from turning twenty-six, and is a semester away from earning her Doctorate degree in behavioral psychology. She wants to be a therapist for young people. I think she chose to become a therapist because she didn’t have anyone that she could talk to about dad leaving. She also helped Jenna and I with our problems, so she has had some experience in helping youngsters. Katie isn’t like a nerdy bookworm that reads textbooks all the time, s**t just comes naturally to her. I find it fascinating how her mind works, and how she never lets a problem get the best of her.

            Then there’s Ashley. She is twenty-nine, married, and has a baby girl of her own. Her husband, Derrick, was the only constant guy that was in our house, other than me. They have been together since their junior year of high school. Ashley has always been family oriented; when dad left, she stepped into his role. I respect what she did for our mom and us, but I do feel bad for her. She lost a lot of her youth helping mom raise us. I’m glad she has Derrick; he keeps her sane, and grounded. Their daughter, Hannah, looks exactly like both of them. Ashley seems so much happier now that she has her own family to take care of, instead of her younger siblings.

            And then, there’s my mother.  She scares me to be completely honest with you. Every time she sees me, she has a look of disappointment. I can only theorize that it is because she sees my father in me, but how the hell am I supposed to know if I’m acting like him, I don’t know the guy. The last six months have been the worst, she is never happy, yells at me for everything, and saying she wants me to move out. I feel terribly for her, I don’t know what it’s like to have your significant other walk out on you and your family. She is my mother and I love her, and I wish that there was some way that I could help make her situation better.  But I would rather not be at home to deal with her.

            Jenna knows that my mom wants me out of the house, so she has had me stay with her for the last couple of weeks. She wants me to move in with her, but I’m not making enough money to help her pay the bills, even though she doesn’t want any from me. I feel like I’m inconveniencing her by staying there, but that’s a whole different story. Tonight is one of Jenna’s friends birthday, and she is dragging me along for the ride. I’m not sure why she wants me to go; we don’t have that many friends in common. I really don’t want to go, but I don’t have a choice.

            “Come on Bobby, Let’s go,” Jenna yelled down the hallway.

            “I’m coming, damn.”

Women, ha… they are always either in a rush or late for everything. 

“Jenna?”

“What?”

“Whose birthday is it, you never told me?”

There was a little bit of hesitation before she cleared her throat to answer me. That means she is a little bit nervous about me finding out.

            “Um, it’s Alisha’s birthday.”

Oh s**t, is she crazy? Alisha was the first girl that I fell in love with.

            “Jenny!” She hates when I call her that, “you’re killin’ me.”

 

***

Six years ago I met Alisha. I was skipping school and was searching the Internet for people to talk to, when I stumbled across her. I sent her a message, which she quickly responded to. Before either of us knew it, we had been chatting for over three hours. Alisha lived two towns over and was a cheerleader at her school. I put together a mental image of what I thought she looked like, which got even better when I heard her voice. Wow. Her voice was like a siren, and captured my soul at “Hello.” She had left me a voicemail and I must have listened to it sixty times in my room. To this day, I can’t get over how beautiful a voice she has.

The first day we met face to face was a great day. Ashley gave me a ride to her house, while I rehearsed our greeting in my head.  I was a little nervous to meet her because we still didn’t know what the other person looked like. What if she thought I was an uggo, and didn’t let me in, or was actually a sixty-year-old man who was a rapist? Those thoughts all vanished when she opened the door and we made eye contact. 

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you Alisha,” oh way to go, that’s the best you could come up with? Idiot.

“It’s nice to finally meet you too,” she said then gave me a hearty hug.

I turned to close the door and saw that Ashley had a big, goofy grin on her face because she could tell I was already smitten by this girl. I’ll never forget that day. I usually can’t make one good impression, let alone make a good one to an entire family. Amazingly, Alisha’s whole family liked me. I had everything going for me on that day, and managed not to make myself look like an idiot by saying something stupid, for once. For the last hour and a half I was at her house, she laid in my arms, head on my legs, staring up at me, and me into her beautiful blue eyes. 

“I could sit like this for the rest of the night,” I said to her, and with a small chuckle I finished, “or until one of us has to pee,” which she laughed at.

“You know what Bobby?”

“What’s that?”

“I feel so relaxed with you, and we have only really known each other for a few hours. I’m so glad that we met.”

She grabbed the back of my head and pulled it down until our lips were touching. Her lips were so soft and had a hint of cherry flavor from her lip-gloss. It was the perfect kiss.

***

“What? We became really good friends, and had nothing to do with you,” Jenna said, which snapped me out of my daze.

“No, it’s because she was my first love, and it ended pretty badly, and we haven’t spoken since.”

“Well then, looks like you two will have something to talk about, you know, when she can pull herself away from all of her other friends to talk to you.”

“Yeah, I guess you have a point. I’m just a little bit nervous, that’s all.”

Jenna laughed at me then hit me with her purse, or handbag, whatever the hell it’s called, and then we left for the party. The whole way there, my heart was beating extremely fast and my hands were sweating while a chill crawled slowly crawled down my spine. This is the most uncomfortable I have ever felt in my whole life, and the thing is that I’m never nervous when I talk to women, I actually enjoy it. I’m feeling similar to the day when I first met her, except this time, I have even more to prove. Before I knew it, Jenna was pulling into the parking lot and I began to tense up even more.

“Hey psycho, calm down, it’s just a girl,” Jenna said, “now let’s go and enjoy the night.”

“Give me a minute Jen, please. She isn’t ‘just a girl,’ its Alisha, and I can’t just go in there cold, I care about here too much.”

“Alright Bobby, but if you bail, I’m dropping you off at moms tonight.”

“Oh f**k that, I don’t care if Alisha wanted to kill me, there is nothing that will make me stay at moms.”

We both laughed, then Jenna left me to my thoughts. The last time Alisha and I talked was three years ago, and it wasn’t a very good conversation. We had recently broken up and when we ran into each other, I guess the wound was still too fresh, because she tore me a new one. She told me that she never wanted to speak to me again, and I don’t want to repeat that incident or ruin her birthday.

“Alright Bobby, man up, and go in there,” I said to myself, then walked into the bar and tried to find the party. There were a lot of good-looking women in there that I would normally find myself talking to, but not tonight. I heard that sweet, angelic voice off to my right. There she was, and was looking as good as ever. She had on the dangly diamond earrings that I had bought for her eighteenth birthday, and she had her hair done the way I liked it. She had it half in a ponytail, while the rest lie on her shoulders. She looks so happy right now, she always looks good when she’s happy. She’s cute when she’s a little mad, but when she’s angry it’s a whole different story, and the last time we spoke, she was angry.

I noticed that not only had Jenna drug me to this party, but also got Katie to show up too. Great, now when I make an a*s out of myself, it will be in front of both of them. What if Jenna set this whole thing up, and told Alisha that I was going to be here? Like I wasn’t nervous enough, now I got my head all messed up thinking a million miles a minute. Get a hold of yourself. It’s Alisha; you love her, go talk to her.

Finally, I started to make my way to the table, but was interrupted.

“Bobby…” I heard from behind, “Bobby Phaulson, is that you?”

I recognized the voice instantly; it was Kayla, my tattooed princess. But I’m not here to see her, plus I’m sure Jenna would get mad and drop me off at moms if she saw me talking to her when she brought me her to talk to Alisha. I turned around slowly to say hello, and before I could even speak, she knocked the wind out of me with a gigantic hug.

“Hello Kayla, how are you?”

“I’m good, nothing to complain about,” she said as she bit on her lip ring, and pulled it into her mouth slightly.

“That’s good, you look great,” she really does, wow, “but I’m going to have to cut you off short, I’m here with my sisters for a friend’s birthday.”

“Oh…” she looked up at me with her big brown eyes, and I could tell she was upset, “alright I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Hey, give me you new number, and I will give you a call,” I said. This is probably a mistake, good job!

She took my phone out of my hand and programmed her number into it and made me promise to call her, and hit me with another big hug. She turned to go back to the bar, and I admired her body as she walked away, slowly and flirtatiously. She was sitting by herself, I guess she is single again and looking for another Mr. Right Now. Anyway, back to what I was here to do.

I feel a bit more confident after having that conversation with Kayla, so maybe this will go better than I expected. As I approached the table, Jenna pointed me out, and Alisha turned around, and we made eye contact.

“Happy birthday Alisha! It’s nice to see you, you look great,” I said, and felt good about it!

“Bobby Phaulson,” why the hell do these girls always have to use my whole name when they see me? “Thank you, and you don’t look bad yourself,” she said.

This is going better than I expec- … never mind, she turned around and continued her conversation like she didn’t even miss a beat. She acted like I was unimportant, like the waiter or bartender, no, not like them; they would get more out of her than one lowsy sentence. I backed up from the table slowly so I didn’t look like an a*s just standing there and having twelve girls just staring at me. As I was backing away, Katie started to get up, but I gave her a little headshake to tell her that I didn’t want her to. 

I found the bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face; I mean what am I supposed to think?  She’s wearing the earrings that I bought her, but ended the conversation before it even had a chance to start. She also didn’t completely ignore me, and smiled when we made eye contact, but why so short? Did I screw up? Was I supposed to pull up a chair and join in? I didn’t get any signs from Jenna or Katie that would say that so I guess not.

“Look at you, alone in the bathroom, talking to yourself, acting like a crazy person. She’s wearing the earrings, she still has feelings for you!” I said, to my reflection.

***

It was about a month before her birthday, and we were holding hands walking past outlet stores, when a sun sparkle caught her eyes. We stopped in front of a Tiffany’s jewelry store, so I already knew I was about to be broke. She was staring at a pair of earrings. There were three diamonds dangling at different lengths from a sliver band.

“Aren’t they pretty,” she asked.

“Yeah they are pretty, pretty expensive,” I said in a joking fashion.

“You’re such a guy, you can’t appreciate anything beautiful.”

She had just set herself up perfectly, so I took her and looked deeply into her blue eyes, “Baby, I appreciate you, and you’re more beautiful than anything in this whole store!” Nailed it!

She shoved me and said, “Bobby, God, you are so corny,” laughed a little bit, “but, I’m so lucky to have you, I love you.”

“I love you too!”

I went back to that store a week later to get those earrings, and I’m not going to even mention the price, but she was worth it. When her birthday came up and I went to give her the gift, she saw the box and immediately jumped up and wrapped her arms and legs around me giving me a thousand kisses all over my face, and saying “I love you” between each kiss.

“Lish, baby, it’s just a box. You don’t even know what is in there,” I said through her kisses.

“Bobby, shut up! I know it’s the earrings, I love you so much you are my everything,” she said, then continued the kissing.

***

I wish I could get her away from the group so we could talk, maybe she just feels awkward talking to me in front of her friends, especially on her birthday. I headed back to the table, but when I left the bathroom, I noticed that they were no longer at the table. How long was I in there? Maybe they went up to the club, I’m sure Jenna wouldn’t leave me here. 

I sat at the bar, hoping a drink would help to get my mind right. It’s risky to start drinking around so many beautiful women, because like I said, I find reasons about any woman to like, and if I’m going to strike out with Alisha, I might-as-well find someone else I could potentially date.

“I thought you were here with your friends,” a voice from behind said. It was Kayla again.

“I am, they all went upstairs while I was using the restroom, and I wanted to do a shot before going upstairs and showing the world how terrible of a dancer I am.”

“How about a shot of Jose, on me,” she offered.

“On you?”

“Oh, no, not on me on me,” she said laughing, “unless you want to come back to my apartment. Then you can take anything off me,” and bit her lip ring again.

She knows from experience that biting her piercing is a sort of turn on for me. I give her props though; she goes after any and everything that she wants, no matter what the cost. 

***

Kayla and I met at the tattoo shop a little more than three years ago, about two months before Alisha and I broke up.  The first thing I noticed about her was how naturally beautiful she was. She was sitting in the chair getting her left arm tattooed, wearing a spaghetti strapped black tank top, and had light colored torn jeans, and black flip-flops. She had a dark tan, small designer glasses, and had her hair up in pig-tails, which I though was funny because I hadn’t seen pig-tails on anyone besides a little girl. Her eyes matched her body color, and had lips that looked inviting. They had some thickness to them, not like those over juiced things on Angelia Jolie’s face, but just right, and they looked like they belonged on her face. Her body, from what I could see, was athletically built, but she had bigger than average attributes.

I could tell that this girl liked being looked at, because as I was talking to Scotty, the guy who was going to be doing my tattoo, she adjusted her tank top so that her cleavage showed a little bit more than they were, and smiled when she caught me looking. The look and smile, however, also caught the attention of her boyfriend, who immediately came and got into my face.

“You like what you lookin’ at?” He asked.

“Sorry bro, I’m not into the whole gay thing,” I answered back. 

The people in the shop gave a little chuckle, which angered him more. “So you’re a wise a*s ain’t ‘cha?” He said as we stepped into my personal space.

“Dude seriously, get out of my face, who the f**k are you anyway?” I said, looking up at him.

“I’m her boyfriend,” he sprayed.

I whipped the spit that he had gotten on my face off, then looked past him and asked her, “is that true?” She nodded and roller her eyes. “Are you a mechanic?”

“A mechanic?” She said puzzled.

“Yeah, ‘cuz you’re walking around with this tool, I figured you were a mechanic, or something,” then got pushed across the room by the boyfriend.

“Brett! Stop it!” She yelled.

He was taken outside by Scotty, and was made to leave before the cops were called. He walked away, giving me the finger, and mouthing that he was going to be waiting for me later.

“Classy,” I said, and gave him thumbs up.

             “I’m sorry about him, he thinks he’s a hard a*s,” she said, “I’m Kayla by the way.”

I talked to her a little bit while we were getting tattooed, and when she left she handed me a small piece of paper that said “call me” underneath her number, and signed it with a wink face by her name. A few days later I gave her a call, figured we could be friends or something, since we both like tattoos. When she answered the phone, she was crying, and sucked me into a conversation about what was wrong.  What I didn’t know was that Alisha had come in the house and was standing behind me listening to the conversation, and when I said I would go hang out with Kayla, Alisha smacked me in the back of the head.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She yell-asked me.

“It’s not what you think Lish,” I answered. Probably not the best way to answer that. Good luck getting out of this one. “I’m not trying to date her, I just want to hang out, you’re going out, and I don’t want to be stuck in this house all night listening to my mom b***h at me.” Did you really just say date her, are you stupid?

“Bullshit Bobby! You don’t just go out with strangers when you’re in a committed relationship.”

“Baby, haven’t we been together long enough for you to trust me,” I said an walked toward her, “I love you Alisha.”

“Oh save it. I thought we were long enough for you to realize that you don’t do s**t like this to people you so-called love. I thought we were together long enough for me to trust you, but I guess I was wrong. That’s it, I’m done, I’m not going to go through this with you Bobby.”

“Lish, please…”

“I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to talk to you. Now or ever again!” She said crying and slammed the door behind her.

“Way to go Bobby, take right after your father,” my mother chimed in.

“Thanks mom, why don’t you go drink some more, and mind your own Goddamn business!” I yelled back.

“Get the f**k out of here you arrogant little s**t. Why don’t you go find your a*****e father, and you two can go around treating women like s**t all you want,” she screamed and threw her glass of scotch at me.

I walked out of her house, and went to meet up with Kayla, since I had nowhere else to go. We both spent the majority of that night crying about losing our relationships, while drinking a bottle of Jose. We ended up passing out on the hood of my car at the park we met up at.

I tried talking to Alisha the next few days, and she made it painfully obvious that we were over when she threw the box of my stuff she put together at my head. I stayed with Jenna because I had nowhere to go and I didn’t want to be around my psychotic mother. Kayla and I started talking more frequently, and eventually gave being a couple a chance. The relationship never really had a chance though, because it was more of a rebound thing, and we both knew that. That didn’t stop us from making it a very physically sexual relationship. We had a pregnancy scare, which made it more real for us, and not too much longer after that did we split ways. I did love her though, for the type of person she was, and her go-get-it lifestyle.

***

“I’ll have a shot with you Kayla, but then I’m going upstairs to meet up with them,” I said.

“Alright, but the other offer is always on the table if you want it,” she said, but let go of her lip ring.

I took the shot with her and said goodbye, then walked up to the club. On my way up the stairs, I was taken aback by what I saw. There were two girls serving beer wearing shorter-than-short skirts, that strippers would be jealous of, with booty shorts on, basically showing everyone walking up the stairs their asses. And what was more shocking to me was the girls walking up the steps in front of me were admiring the girls’ butts with their boyfriends. Weird. Finally, when I got up to the dance floor, I once again tried to find Jenna, Katie or Alisha. I probably look like an idiot just standing here lost in a tourist-like mode. I moved to the side of the floor and took in the environment. The club had dancers on box stages all over the club, and there were people everywhere. Somehow, Katie found me and grabbed my hand. She was definitely drunk, she was spilling her drink as she walked toward me.

“Bobby!  Come here, come here, you have to see this,” she said as she dragged me through a mob of people.

“What is it Katie,” I asked.

“Just follow me and find out for yourself,” she said.

She pulled me to where the rest of the party was and pointed up to the box stage.  It was Jenna dancing with a club girl, make that kissing the club girl. Katie and a bunch of guys around the box all began howling wildly and cheering them on. In the middle of all of the commotion, there she was, and was giving me the finger wave to come over to her. My heart began beating louder than the bass as I made my way through all the people drooling over my sister making out with a girl. I finally made my way over to Alisha, now what?

“Hey, what’s up,” I had to yell so she could hear me.

“Nothing much, just wanted to talk to you,” she yelled back.

“It’s kind of hard to hear in here,” I said.

“What?”

“I said, it’s kind of…,” she stopped me.

“I heard what you said Bobby, I was messing with you,” she said with her signature grin. “I want you to dance with me,” she said and reached her hand out for me to grab.

“Of course I’ll dance with you,” I said and we walked to the center of the dance floor.

She looked beautiful; she had on a light blue form fitting dress that reminded me of her prom. This whole moment was like the prom too; having her in my arms surrounded by a bunch of people we could care less about, like we were the only two people in the world. There is only one word that can describe this moment, perfect.

“Bobby,” she whispered in my ear, “you have been on my mind a lot lately. I want you to know that you hurt me so much, but I over reacted too, and I’m sorry. I still love you, and no one has even come close to making me as happy as you did. And I know that you still love me too,” she said then put her head on my shoulder.

“I do still love you, and I’m the one that ruined us, so you don’t need to apologize,” I said.

“Do you still talk to that tattooed s**t?” She asked, and looked up to see my face when I answered.

This is going to be trouble, I need to handle this correctly or I can say goodbye to Alisha forever. “I actually ran into her downstairs, she wanted me to go home with her, and she put her number into my phone.” Alisha pulled away from me, “I told her I was here to see you, she told me to call her.”

“Are you going to call her?” Alisha asked.

“I am actually,” I started saying. Alisha tried to turn to walk away, but I stopped her. “I’m going to call her to tell her one of two things.”

“Which would be what?”

“One. That the call would be the last time I ever spoke to her because I got a second chance with my true love.  Or two…” I stopped.

“What’s the second thing Bobby?”

“There isn’t, she’ is too much drama, and I want you back. So it would be only one thing.”

“I never said I was going to give you another chance,” she said, moving back toward me.

I took my phone out of my pocket and pulled her number up, “Alisha, she is the cause of me losing you, I’m not going to make that mistake again,” I said and deleted the number, “I love you, and I want you back!”

Before I could finish what I was saying, Alisha had wrapped herself around me again, just like she did when I gave her the earrings, and gave me a kiss. I could hear the attention of the crowds cheering switch to us, and the loudest voices were of my sisters. I could tell they were happy, s**t I’m happy too. I never thought I was going to have Alisha back in my arms again, and here she is.

I love women; it’s been a part of who I am for as long as I can remember. Maybe my dad was the same way, and was the reason why he left my mom, and the reason why she hates me so much. There is something about each girl I have ever had feelings for that made me love them, from my sisters to my mom to my girlfriends. But this is the strongest I have ever felt about anyone. My sisters have always been apart of my love life, and I’m thankful that we are all really close.  For the most part, it was Jenna that I looked up to the most, and Katie has been becoming more involved lately, but it’s actually Ashley that I want to be like. With the one person that makes me happier than I ever thought possible, and being in the middle of this club with her in my arms, and lips touching is the first step to getting there.


© 2010 C-Trainer



Author's Note

C-Trainer
Second Draft revisions.

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Featured Review

Brother, don't change one comma, period, syllable.. From the first sentence you had me drawn into this happy/sad/hopeful life. Fiction or Non? Does not really matter. You have a sweetly smooth style of writing. Very detail orientated.. This is as I say "Proper".. Yes, very good.. Please write , write and write some more.. I'll be looking out for more...


Peace,
Lynne

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I truely reading enjoyed reading this, great job Craig.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I've always had a genuine appreciation for men (one of my poems is dedicated to it) though my experience with them is very different from yours with women. I can always appreciate a man that can appreciate a woman, so I'm glad you wrote this.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Greetings to you,

First of all, I love the title. It just perfectly fit with the story. Second, the story is simply interesting. I can understand how this guy is born to like women so much, since he is the only buy among his siblings. What really makes me keep on reading and catching my attention is the very first paragraph. Yes, of every story and article, the very first paragraph is very important to keep readers read.

There are parts where how this guy character in your story described a woman is nice. I especially like the line "...athletically built, but she had bigger than average attributes." It sounding like someone is really admiring a woman's body like an art, instead of giving the perverted thought. Somehow, after reading this story, it kind of reminded me of the movie "What Women Want". I don't know what could the resemblance be, but I think it is because of the word 'Woman' which connects the stories of both admiring women.

All in all, I really enjoy this story. It was really fun to read :) Thank you for sharing :)


Posted 7 Years Ago


This was a great read! I was about to go to bed...and, well, lets just say that I ignored my clock for once...No, I lied, I never pay attention. But I did need to go to bed and didn't just to finish reading your amazing story! It was very endearing, and honest! We need more guys in the world like you, who respect woman, and understand them. Keep writing! I don't know for sure if this story is based on your life or not, but if it is, blessings to you and Alisha. I'm new here, so If I can figure out how to follow your writings, I will.

Stay true,

Monica

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love women, its been a part of who I am for as long as I can remember.
There is something about each girl I have ever had feelings for that made me love them, from my sisters to my mom to my girlfriends.
This is so good my friend,I was so taken with this,I kept reading till the end..I never came across such a gripping write like this
this was told so nicely..the way you build your characters are so lovely..its like real life..I was almost there with you
and saw how everyone would react..they seem all to be lovely people..I just loved his older sister..and
this girl,his first love..all acted so natural..and yes who could but be womanholic..ha ha,its part of every man
I have noticed all good men are this way..you have a lovely way of telling a story ,you certainly are talented
I really loved this..
lovely write..

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Brother, don't change one comma, period, syllable.. From the first sentence you had me drawn into this happy/sad/hopeful life. Fiction or Non? Does not really matter. You have a sweetly smooth style of writing. Very detail orientated.. This is as I say "Proper".. Yes, very good.. Please write , write and write some more.. I'll be looking out for more...


Peace,
Lynne

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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859 Views
6 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on October 20, 2009
Last Updated on February 16, 2010
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Author

C-Trainer
C-Trainer

Plainfield, IN



About
Hello. I am a 24 year old from New Jersey, and I have just moved to Indiana. I would like to get to know some local writers too, so if you are from Indiana, I'd be happy to meet you. I'm new to the.. more..

Writing
Faces Faces

A Poem by C-Trainer



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