Red

my second attempt at poetry

Red

 

Red is,

     The color we first see

          Traveling back to our memory.

Red is,

     The color of the blood

          Traveling through my heart.

Red is,

     The color of intensity

          Traveling through my veins.

Red is,

     The color of rage

          Traveling to my fists.

Red is,

     The color of fire

          Traveling to spark my desire.

Red is,

     The color of love

          Traveling through my brain.

Red is,

     The color of you

          Here to remind me that you exist.

Author's Note

what do you think?

Reviews

[Sasha]

I think this is really good. I actually wanted to do a similar piece dedicated to the color red and liked the way you pulled this off.

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

another good piece,:)

[C-Trainer]

Thank you all, every bit of input and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!

[Alessander]

for your second attempt, this is pretty good. But like my younger self, you have fits of beauty and garbage.

Beauty: the color of rage/travelling to my fists

Garbage: the color of fire/travelling to spark my desire

BUT, i DEF think you have a way with words, which is not common for a viz arts dude, and can't be taught, so keep firing away - the craft will come.

[Jennifer Marie Theresa ..]

I love how you connected the color to everyday feelings making each reader have something to connect with.

[SoulofManyFaces]

I like the ways you used the different emotions of the
word red. Good write!

[melissa]

you have great talent ! nice deatil very colorful:)

[cest la vie]

I think you are a great writer. Red; such a powerful color.. Passion, the heart, death, birth.. you have written a beautiful piece encapsulating those emotions so well. Please keep writing poetry, you have a real talented pen. Nicely done!!

[deeps]

Wow! I kind of see this as steam blowing off from anger,
I like how you express yoruself, wonderufl flow of words as well.

[Kieran James McGovern]

Make more attempts! Red is my favorite color; a color of passion, and I think you captured that very well.