Traffic Cones

Traffic Cones

A Poem by Ben Taylor


Sharp orange warnings
A surcease of compliance
The airbag ravine

© 2011 Ben Taylor



Author's Note

Ben Taylor
This is my first time writing haiku. I'm not sure if it's too disjointed or not..thoughts?

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Ah, i changed "vivid" to "sharp". I've never thought of orange as two syllables, but I stand corrected.

Posted 6 Years Ago


This made me smile... i like the plunge in the last line... 'compliance' works as the cutting word here. Though, being pedantic, i would say 'orange' has two syllables (maybe not with an American accent, i don't know) and this makes the first line 6 syllables instead of 5.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


That's pretty much it, yeah. I'm no haiku expert..so I'm not sure if I can have that large jump in time there. Dunno lol.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


Interesting. Although I was lost when I got to airbag ravine. Are you implying the airbag went off when you hit the ravine? I think the last line a bit confusing to the inexperienced reader, namely myself :) LOL As I have only written my first today as well.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago



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358 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Added on March 24, 2011
Last Updated on March 24, 2011
Tags: car, driving, crash
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Author

Ben Taylor
Ben Taylor

Columbia, MO



About
Almost everything I write now is relatively real, so just read what I write and get to know me. more..

Writing
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A Poem by Ben Taylor