Suicide

Streetlamp's

Sworn Secrecy

Sees Someone,

Softly Sobbing,

Swearing Silently,

Sitting.

Salty Sadness Streaming,

Surceased Satisfaction

Sapping Strength;

Skin Stretched,

So Skeletal.

Sightline Shifting,

Seeing Speeding Shimmers

Splash Sidewalks.

Suddenly Standing,

Sprinting.

Strained Screeching

Shatters Silence;

Sirens Scream.

Author's Note

That was written on a whim. It's kinda difficult lol.

Reviews

[i.am.the.sun.]

actually really impressed you managed to tell a story here sticking stricktly to illiteration! that's tough stuff. i would strip a lot of the punctuation off of this though, to be frank.
actually... just reading it over again now i think i got it.
the punctuation can stay! haha it's perfectly put, it's just that with short and sudden lines like these they can just confuse, but here they offer a bit of storyline too, since they're two differnt poems when read as such.
"streetlamps sword secrecty" is amazing, love it, goooooood opening line!
when i first read this i got the idea that the subject had jumped off a cliff into the churning waters of the ocean or something. with syrins screaming :P if i can figure out how to favorite this it'll be my first. congrats, this is a sweet write.

[EmeraldFacet]

Splended!

[Judy Ponceby]

Spectacular! :)

[FJ Davis]

Surprised you didn't change your name to something like Sean Sullivan.
On a whim, you've done an amazing thing. Remember what I told you about the magic.
Excellent work.

[FaithfullyJennyBear]

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS :L this is amazing how you kept the alliteration up for so long and it actually makes sense :') well done :)

[jessicamarie19]

breathtaking

[penNhand]

Standing ovation!!!! I suggest you enter this one into the suicide club contest. On a whim? I am scared to see you actually sit and ponder. Dangerous talent, you are.1000 Stars

[Poeticadia]

Susurrous sentiments subtly suggested. Simply stupendous!

[LA Lorena]

difficult, but well worth the effort. surprisingly splendid!

[2Real2BTrue]

Very unique, I don't think I've ever read another poem like this one- it's really cool!