In The Corner Of My mind

The shadows crawl and twist

Creeping 

Creeping deeper 

Filling'

Filling my thoughts

They beckon me in the twilight

Grabbing' 

Pulling' 

Pulling me deeper 

Deeper into nothing

i'm falling 

i'm slipping 

Slipping away 

Into the ethereal 

The ethereal mist

Swallowing the moon

And the sun 

Deep' 

Deeper into the lifeless garden

Tainted 

Spread your corruption unto me 

So that i may grow

Grow into a vine 

Pulling away

Crawling

Creeping

Out 

Out of the fracture

The fracture

 

left by your presence

oh sweet madness 

you call to me as 

i do to you

let me crawl into you

and wear you as my own

a skin

a skin so that i may be whole

and so we dive into shadows 

hiding

hiding from the light

  

forever

Forever whole inside ?

Reviews

[T. Edana Talbott]

' let me crawl into you

and wear you as my own

a skin

a skin so that i may be whole '


I adore these lines. How achingly lovely. The longing and desire for this other person is described so beautifully and passionately here. Perfection

[TheAimlessWanderer]

i think that sentiment is more beautiful than my actual meaning thank you very much for reading it glad you enjoyed it ! that is one my favorite lines too

[MICASA]

omg!!! that is soo deep!!! i just love your poem!! great

[TheAimlessWanderer]

Thank you so much i love your poems too !!

[Spacebar Clicker]

i love this its ssoo dark and i can relate its clear what you feel fro your words Creeping deeper

Filling'

Filling my thoughts

They beckon me in the twilight

Grabbing'

Pulling'

Pulling me deeper

Deeper into nothing
wow those lines are the ones i love most

[TheAimlessWanderer]

thank you glad you connected to it clearly (:

[Nisreen]

Being around the wrong person
it can be an endless spiral of sorrow

you are a pretty expressive writer
i like the way you use your words
and the pauses you allow the reader to have

pretty smart

[TheAimlessWanderer]

i like that interpretation of it not what i was going for but it is nice that it can have many different meanings to other people that is what make writing fun.

[Nisreen]

its what makes writing of great value

perspective

I like your style alot !!!

[TheAimlessWanderer]

thank you very much. (:

[Sapientiam]

This is so deep and sorrowful... I would say you're whole, but who am I to say such things, heh. Anyways, I could feel the emotions within your writing; it was nearly calling to me. Especially when you talked about corruption, I could feel the despair in these feelings. Great job, as usual!

[TheAimlessWanderer]

Wow thank you i am glad you felt drawn or connected in someway to what i wrote that is the best compliment i could i ever wish for. Thank you for taking the time to read this !!

[thaleeyaLuna]

Creative and well written!
I love the shortness of every line creating a dark atmosphere throughout the poem.
Thank you for the invite! :)

[TheAimlessWanderer]

Your welcome glad you enjoyed it !

[DorothyParker]

I am in love with this poem! Especially the repetition of the words. They set a perfect tone for all the reading.

[TheAimlessWanderer]

Wow thank you that is what i was going for by reiterating sending you on a long fall deeper and deeper into a journey and finally descending to the root of the real question. glad someone likes this style too.

[Ted Kniffen]

Chris;
This is a pretty good piece that reminds me of my earlier works when I was 19. The one thing I find a bit off-putting is the repetition of words so close together. Try it without the extras and see how it sounds. What is good will become very good indeed.

example

Shadows crawl and twist,
creeping deeper,
filling my thoughts
beckoning me in the twilight
pulling me deeper
into nothing
I'm falling,
slipping away
into the ethereal mist.

[TheAimlessWanderer]

it was intentional but i thank you for the suggestion none the less i thought about it as i was writing just didn't fit with me even if it may sound better to others but i am glad that you liked it overall.