The Cloak of melancholy

The Cloak of melancholy

A Poem by TheAimlessWanderer

The darkness lays inside me
the changes try to drive me
closer, closer farther away from you
farther, farther ,farther away from me 
these thoughts stir 
the maelstrom is coming
twisting, twisting
maybe i should just keep running
pulling, pulling i am being brought back in
these ominous winds are shifting and all this time just drifting
farther away from me
and all i used to see 
the light, bending ,bending, bending around me
my hearts not mending
wild like the sea
there's something deep inside
something i can only fear and hide
the cloak of melancholy veils my soul
the blood drips down from this tattered veil
and this freezing hail
shifting with the ominous winds
making haze
so i can avert their gaze
from the true pieces
the ones that lie within
feeble, feeble 
oh so feeble
clutching these dilapidated things
grasping, grasping 
at the faded things in hands
oh so worrisome we are 
stuck with life's demands...

© 2016 TheAimlessWanderer


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Featured Review

The struggle you are experiencing is evident in your words which clearly describe the continued angst, the ongoing challenge to meet the challenges of living; running away, getting closer, the up and downs of each passing day as it gets to each of us in one way or another.

Your style is interesting; the repetition I especially like as it tends to allow the reader to understand the strength of your expressions of melancholy.

(one small note of correction: theirs something deep inside, possibly should be there's? - your choice)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TheAimlessWanderer

2 Years Ago

Wow such insight thank you for your lovely review i love the repetition too. For me it is a natural .. read more



Reviews

I was going to point out too, great use of repetition. It truly grasped my attention and drove me to finish the poem and, all in all, I think this is what matters the most in poetry: one can say anything, as long as it sounds good.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This struggle is exactly what's happening in me. This kind of unexplained sadness and fear is just haunting me. Thanks a lot for putting this feeling into words!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The struggle you are experiencing is evident in your words which clearly describe the continued angst, the ongoing challenge to meet the challenges of living; running away, getting closer, the up and downs of each passing day as it gets to each of us in one way or another.

Your style is interesting; the repetition I especially like as it tends to allow the reader to understand the strength of your expressions of melancholy.

(one small note of correction: theirs something deep inside, possibly should be there's? - your choice)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TheAimlessWanderer

2 Years Ago

Wow such insight thank you for your lovely review i love the repetition too. For me it is a natural .. read more
I really liked this piece! The description s were awesome and the words you used made for a very good poem. The emotions put into this made for the poem to come out seeming very deep. That deep feeling is what I'm looking for in the Tragic Poem contest. You did great!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TheAimlessWanderer

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much it means so much to hear that you could feel my heart in it connection is one of.. read more
I'm sure this poem connects with every true poet who's expressed sadness and a heartbreak at some very deep level. Nice one.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TheAimlessWanderer

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much it means a lot to hear that people connect to what i write there is never a bett.. read more
Aimless, this is an excellent bit of work, truly emotional. Writers seem to understand these feelings better than most, that's why we are writers. The pain we encounter is part of what drives us to put our thoughts on paper, to share with like minded souls who have gone through the same things, to gain perspective and deal with adversity. It's not easy, but it is necessary. Good luck. Good write.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TheAimlessWanderer

2 Years Ago

thanks ted yeah it was hard for me to upload these when i have been doing so much better lately it r.. read more
A heartfelt and anguished write. Life can be tough, but we have to be tougher. The only way through bad or hard times is to ride on straight through it. Time can change perspectives. Hang on in there!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TheAimlessWanderer

2 Years Ago

yeah i find that too but it works both way for that not always a good thing and to push past things .. read more
Robert Haigh

2 Years Ago

You are welcome.

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Added on September 22, 2016
Last Updated on September 27, 2016

Author

TheAimlessWanderer
TheAimlessWanderer

British Columbia, Canada



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i wish it was more clear who i am even to me it seems dim and held together by words that struggle from within the line is much to thin it is crossing over it is crossing over there no space between m.. more..

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