Mother's Hope

I tried to add more about what mother"s need.

I was married in my 20s, I was eager to have a baby. I came from a big family, we were five sisters so I decided early with my husband Nour to start a family.

Two months later, I was pregnant. I was very careful , I would not hurt my baby so I ate healthy food, slept well,  smiled, made myself happy by reading jokes in magazines, breathed deeply fresh air in the park, left a smoky places. I was proud of my baby. Once I saw him, my eyes lit up. It was love at first sight. I was head over heels in love with him. I was nuts about him. It was an amazing time. I’m crazy about him. We called him Rabia.

During one year I breastfed my son Rabai. I didn’t sleep well anymore. I thought about him every day. I asked myself, “ Did he eat well?, Did he sleep well?,  was he Ok?.” When he laughed I laughed too, when he cried I cried too. When he fell sick I fell sick too.

The years have gone by fast ,  Rabia reached the age of six. We registered him in the best school. I devoted my life to raising him, I drew pictures with him, played with him, cooked the best food for him, read children’s stories with him, watched children’s TV program with him, bought clothes and shoes for him, reminded him  to do his homework and brush his teeth before going to bed at eight o’clock in the evening, guided him through this life on a good path, gave him advice, gave him a crash courses in life subjects, told him to keep his chin up, paid him a compliment, made time for him, worked my tail off to save money for him, prayed for him, made many sacrifices for him.

The years went past, After, Rabia graduated, he found a job in a short time. He became smarter, stronger, more handsome , more knowledgeable, more confident. He got some experience under his belt. I could count on him. I had waited patiently for this moment.

I told myself, ” I seemed to done my job well, Right now, Rabia is able to follow the rest of his journey in a safe way. It’s time to take a rest for a while.”


As soon as he started to work, he fell in love with a girl called Nora. they could not buy an apartment so we offered for to live with us.

Later, Rabia and Nora immigrated to Canada then they immersed themselves in work. They worked as heavy as the heavy rain in Canada. Over the years their heart became as hard as the rocks.

I whispered to myself, “ I’m like a tree in my country, it takes me years to grow and give  fruits before exporting them to another country, where all things can be bought even my dearest son, Rabia. He grew inside me for nine months,  I owned his soul and his body. He was in good hands, I took care of him for thirty years, I was his first friend, I dedicated all my life to making him happy, he had enjoyed with my delicious home cooked, he had enjoyed my company. I had covered him with my blanket in the  cold. I had done  my best.
Right now, I’m useless to him, he left me, stabbed me in the back, left me with my loneliness. My education was a real flop, my dream was disappeared, I felt down in the dumps. I live with it. I’m as that tree which lost fruits and its roots dried, they expected me to die.” The tears fell down my cheeks.

 

 

Later, my husband Nour died. I buried with him all my happy memories. It was no laughing matter. I have nothing to live for. I have lost the nearest person to me and all loving things in my life. My life is empty and soulless. I have nothing to live for. I want to die too.

For God’s sake, One hope that I have to achieve before that time  is to see my son, my heart, my life, Rabia, beside me, speak with him, listen his voice, talk together about his childhood, touch his hands, kiss him on his head, hug him so tightly, as much as I can then I would the happiest Mother in the world.

©2015 Dakir Abderrahmane

Author's Note

For your comment, I 'll feel well....

Reviews

[Helena]

A beautiful write indeed. The empathy you have shown with a man's view on what a Mother might feel in these circumstances is remarkable.

I enjoyed this story......sadly this a situation that happens many times in a Mother and Father's life. You wake up one day and the children you loved cared for with your heart and soul have disappeared or are absent from your life due to many circumstances.

Well done....thanks for sending my way.

Kind regards

Helena :)

P.S. Thought I would put this comment where it should have gone the first time!! :)

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you Helena for reading. I enjoyed your comment.

[Elisa]

I think this is a very relatable story, not just for the narrator, but for Rabia as well. I think people at different stages in their lives will be able to relate to these two characters' situations. So, the content of the story is great. I was just say to fix just a few grammatical things, and giving the story one final glance-over should do the trick. To me, this story seemed like an interview or journal entry from the mother's point of view, but if you were going for something more like a short story, fleshing out the plot would be a good way to do that. Adding more imagery, details, and dialogue are just a few of the things you could do. If you do that, it's great that you can use this as an outline so you have a clear idea of where you want the story to go. I hope that's helpful, and keep writing! You rock :)

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you Elisa very much for reading. you taught me a wonderful lesson.

[Justin Xavier Smith]

I felt bad for Rabia. The guy is living a life, and he's happy, and instead of being happy for him, you think he stabbed you in the back? That's very sad :(

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank Justin Xavier Smith very much for reading. I like your comment.

[Richard Helbert]

I thought it was a nice and warm story,in my opinion I would gave liked to been told more about what was going on. m
More in depth and more details to help paint the mental picture but that is something that is totally up to the author and usually they have a reason for writing as they do overall a very nice story that was well set up and written. And I like the fact that you did not have perfect grammar you wrote the story in your terms and in your voice and I think that is way more important to the effect and power of the story than grammer.punctuation,etc. I myself have a hard time reading perfection because life and experiences are never perfect.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank Richard Helbert very much for reading. I like your comment.

[sohadtolba]

It is more like a diary than a story :) ... The grammar needs work. As mothers we tend to forget lots of things... First before accomplishing everything to our children we must teach them to be grateful. That we will always be the most important - their parents- they need to understand to give back. Teaching them to appreciate before showing them all the love. Everything has to be in balance. We teach them to appreciate us through making them do things for us in certain occasions. telling them what we are doing, get us presents and so on. When they are young might seem weird, but when they grow up, they will understand that meaning. Share with them the responsibility of taking care of the house and the persons in them. Show them by going to their grandparents regular, help them, let them see what we have done to our own parents. If your children oneday left u and became rocks as u say, then i believe this is Karma , always ask urself how were u when ur parents needed u or your relatives. Ask yourself what did u give to others.... If you were a giver, the first to give u back is your children.

Support your children by teaching them their responsibilities first before their rights......

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank sohadtolba very much for reading. I learn a lot from your comment.

[sohadtolba]

I am happy you liked my comment :)

[Deepika]

Mother's love has no equals. very well written!

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank Deepika very much for reading. I love your view.

[Polymath Chameleon]

The grammar was a bit choppy, the metaphors/similes could use a fixer upper to make it more clear, and the tenses are not consistent. But this kind of reminds me of real life. Usually parents in 3rd world countries have big families and the mother is supposed to sacrifice her life for her family. A spoiled child and parents who are willing to do anything for that child can sometimes make someone who is selfish and lacking sympathy or understanding of the sacrifices of their parents. Often times parents are forgotten and I think this story commemorates these parents who just want love from their children.
Moral of the story: wise up and appreciate everything; and also don't spoil your children.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank The Engineer very much for reading, I 'm agree with you. I love your point view.

[Muslimah Triyati]

this story touches my heart, my tears drop. What a poor Rabia's mother who lost his husband a while her son forgot her.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank Muslimah Triyati very much for reading, I enjoyed with your comment.

[RANJANKUMAR DESAI]

Well done. This is the award parents get after their sacrifices .What one gets is loneliness and unhappiness for their roles towards their children's.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank RANJANKUMAR DESAI very much for reading, I enjoyed with your comment.

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chu..]

This is a heart touching story, with pitty immersed on your person person point of view "I" . Although your paunctuation mark is not well nutured. You really told a good story, but with less literally flavour, such like dialogue, suspence, conflict, setting, ironies, and so on. However some of these can be seen but not as expected. You really crafted out a short story, but needed to be elaborated having immersed imagery in its use of diction. Well done, Sir.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you Onyia-ota, Kingsley ver much for reading, I enjoyed with your comment.

[Kitalia Emme]

Very detailed and thought provoking, after all there is no stronger love then a mother has for her child. Just need to clean up the grammar a bit.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you Kitalia Emme ver much for reading, I enjoyed with your comment.