A Poem by lori c


the distant whistle of the midnight train

interrupted her nightly solitaire game.

in the king of hearts she saw his face

as he dusted off the suitcase and

packed his jeans, his socks,

her tomorrows.

© 2009 lori c

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raw and yet beautiful......

Posted 1 Month Ago

That last line made my heart drop. Unexpected. This short piece speaks volumes! Great piece, bravo!

Posted 5 Years Ago

Very tight write! Short and concise. Love the metaphors and imagery! Very clever! Do you think adding "and her tomorrows" would help the flow just a wee bit? Can't make up my mind!

Posted 6 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A sad and lovely piece. Well done.

Posted 9 Years Ago

Oh, this struck me as incredibly sad. She's playing solitaire and remembering the way he left. It was ashot poem, but left me with th scene plaing throug my mind. Its a summer night, the winows are open to let in a little breeze and when she hears the train whistle in the distance she can't keep her mind from drifting to him. I really like this one.

Posted 9 Years Ago

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I really love the symbolism of the "distant...midnight train", the "solitaire game", and his absence. All in all the fact remains...solitude! Invited or not.
Then there's the instance of a quaint game being interrupted. So much to read into so few words! Excellent!

Posted 9 Years Ago

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6 Reviews
Added on March 21, 2009


lori c
lori c

schenectady, NY


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