tonight

a single bird serenades the old man
its evening note ending
with the beginning of the twilight
crickets begin their chorus
their sounds of love echoes
the sun's fading beauty
thru pine tree branches
limbs outstretched
waiting to hold the night
the stars the universe
and to once again
to cover the old man
in its dark beautiful embrace

tonight(c)2015dlj

Reviews

[Gia Sativa]

Very full of wonderful imagery!

[daniel lee johnson]

Thank you Gia and I love your name !!!!

[Fran Marie]

An enchanting piece of poetry ..a serenaded song of nature's beauty covering the old man.. nice work..

[daniel lee johnson]

Thank you Fran. It's just a little taste of my life these days.

[ron]

Very thought provoking and poetic. Nicely written.

[daniel lee johnson]

Thanks Ron !!!

[ron]

Your welcome Daniel.

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Daniel

A friend drew me to your writing because he felt you had merit.

I can see what he means.

I usually review long. But I am going to change pattern here and review some of your pieces rather than just one more briefly but still according to my style.

This:

14 lines of verse with no rhyme or rhythm.

But listen ever so quietly to the melody and the song.

The central character? The old man.

And what happens to the old man?

Magic!

Bear in mind here I am completely overturning the way I often review.

I have no complaint.

You language is metaphorical and lyrical.

I need not quote, It pervades the piece.

All I need to know is to add the1st and last lyrical lines together and I get to the point:

'a single bird serenades the old man'
'in its dark beautiful embrace'

Usually by now I would have given you 200 words on this piece.

But in using the word piece here I find peace.


James

[daniel lee johnson]

Yes James I have read and reread this and I had to let it stand as is. But I know what you are talking about. Does the old man get embraced by the song, the night or the trees embrace the old man?? I believe grammatically it would be the trees which would prompt a change in the last line. But as I say I decided to let it stand as is. Thanks again for the support !!!

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Daniel I am all about support and I think you write well. James

[daniel lee johnson]

I agree and I am glad to be part of writers cafe. My poems are scattered from here to hell and perhaps I can get them all in one place. Thanks James you made my day. I see alot of people respect you here. You had my instant respect for your reviews of my poems. As we say down here in the south>> You know your s**t !!!! hahahaha I hope your day is good !!

[jeannemarie coulter]

simple and beautiful message shared

[daniel lee johnson]

Thank you Jeanne Marie !!

[Jamestown]

Great piece, beautiful calming imagery and a solid message!
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[daniel lee johnson]

Yes Jamestown I live in the country and it is very calming and peaceful. I try to capture those elusive feelings in what I write. I love nature and all God's creations