Let the Children Dance

Let the Children Dance

A Poem by DoormanDan
"

I wrote this a while ago because I had to move away from my friends, which means I won't be able to graduate from high school with them.

"

The time has come to lay to rest the years that we spent holding hands

So let the children dance while they have the chance

Forever sings serenades in perfect harmony with sweet serenity

So let the children dance while they have the chance


The pain hits like a supernova coursing through my veins

As I leave this place I know I'll never be the same


Summer has arrived at last and with it the last time we will get

To let the children prance, play their games and dance

The pendulum keeps swinging on beyond the baby steps of dawn

So let the children prance while they have the chance


The feelings screaming inside of me are slowly getting out

No words shall go unsaid; I'll make every moment count


Although magicians have cast their spells over our destinies

I won't ever forget a single melody

I will always remember September


We gaze up at the galaxies sleeping in the starry sky

Both aware that very soon we'll have to say goodbye


So let the children dance while they have the chance

© 2014 DoormanDan


Author's Note

DoormanDan
I want to know what you honestly think about this. I want to become a professional songwriter someday, so please give me your honest opinion.

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Reviews

I think the are many layers to this poem and I like the way you tie the various thoughts together with the repetition of let the children dance if you want to turn the poem into a song I think you need to reuce some of the thoughts but keep the lines let the children dance while they have the chance ...has a nice cadence to the line

Posted 8 Years Ago


DoormanDan

8 Years Ago

Thanks for the review. I wrote this piece centuries ago, so it isnt as good as most of my more recen.. read more
Fantastic poem. It has a very sad tone to it, which I love. I like the title and the running theme through out. It played out like song in my mind.

Posted 8 Years Ago


DoormanDan

8 Years Ago

This piece, out of all of my songs, is probably the closest to having an actual beat. Unlike most o.. read more
This was kinda sad. I could relate though. I had one I held hands with for a short time. I loved her like crazy..just wasn't meant to be. Thanks for sharing

Posted 8 Years Ago


DoormanDan

8 Years Ago

I'm sorry to hear about that. It's always hard to have to move away from those you love, even if it.. read more
I was young once, and in school, and in love so I thought, then I was, and then I was married for 39 plus years to be captured by the same woman again ... When you are young you should stay young, stay a kid for a long as you can, because being a grown up is not all it is made out to be ... Memories are the greatest of treasures, and I agree, "Let the children dance while they have the chance ..."

Posted 8 Years Ago


DoormanDan

8 Years Ago

Memories are the greatest of treasures, that's a line to remember right there. I agree with you, on.. read more
Beautiful... and sad, with life taken in perspective that our lives are short... This is really good!

Posted 8 Years Ago


DoormanDan

8 Years Ago

I'm really glad you like it. I appreciate the feedback :)
We gaze up at the galaxies sleeping in the starry sky
Both aware that very soon we'll have to say goodbye
So let the children dance while they have the chance

I like this write-up. I appreciate the message since it was so realistic. Another poem of life ^_^

Posted 8 Years Ago


DoormanDan

8 Years Ago

It's always the realistic pieces of writing that strike closest to home. thanks for reviewing :)
I liked your poem for you explained to us what it was. I do not personally see a song coming out of this particular poem such as it is formatted now. I do not think that you need any references to magicians to help sell your poem either. Good luck with your writing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


DoormanDan

8 Years Ago

Thanks for reviewing, and thanks for the encouragement. I actually don't ever do anything in order .. read more
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The ending was a bit sad, but that's life, isn't it? We all say "goodbye" in the end. This was written well. I could connect to this very much.

- Brittney

Posted 8 Years Ago


DoormanDan

8 Years Ago

Those are true words you've written. I know that the move I made wasn't even that big of one(I only.. read more
613

8 Years Ago

Aw, sorry you moved!
DoormanDan

8 Years Ago

Thanks, everything's alright now :)
This is very well written. Sorry about your forced move, it had to hurt. I know I would have felt terrible in the same situation. Kathie

Posted 9 Years Ago


It's always a joy to read your work because when I read it I imagine it as a song in my head. The best songs and poems come from personal experiences, be it experiences of sadness or happiness, it's the raw emotion the listener feels is what always draws them in. And you got it :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


DoormanDan

9 Years Ago

I always try to imagine a beat to my songs, even if it's not original, before I write them. It make.. read more

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Added on November 16, 2014
Last Updated on November 16, 2014

Author

DoormanDan
DoormanDan

College Burnout, DE



About
I'm a twenty one year old young man who enjoys writing poetry, songs, stories, paintball and other things. My favorite things to do are parkour, video games, listening to music, and making people hap.. more..

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