Blackbirds

A poem written from the perspective of those who have lost all hope

Blackbirds

Blackbirds, blackbirds, save me from the lies of Mistress Midnight

Lift me upon your wings and take me to the place where Silence sings

Angel of Shadows, forever free me from this shroud of cauterizing sorrow

Cold is my soul, frozen by the raging blizzards of this world

Keep me warm in your embrace

Blackbirds, blackbirds, help me escape this abyss of which I am adrift in

Inside of me there's a pain that's constantly picking stitches

Reach into my heart, and with your kiss, erase these hideous scars

Don't leave me in the remains of my fragmented faith

Save me from this forsaken place

Author's Note

I going to start off by saying that I did not create the picture used in this poem. Second off, I wanted to try something completely new, and I personally think that this is one of the weakest poems I've ever written(I know I say that a lot, but this time I really think so). But I'm not 100% sure, so I'll let you guys decide. On a scale of 1-10, what do you give this piece? :)

Reviews

[NotGoodEnough]

This is a great poem, very powerful. The only problem is, it's not an acrostic poem. So, therefor I must disqualify you from my contest. But don't stop writing, your work is quite astonishing!!

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for the review, but I'm confused. An acrostic poem is a poem where the first letter of each line in the poem spells out a word, and in this poem, the first letter of each line spells out the word blackbirds, so how is this not an acrostic poem? :)

[NotGoodEnough]

Oh...Sorry....The boldness in the other areas confused me....My bad....

[NotGoodEnough]

Very sorry....I'm apparently blind in one eye and can't see out of the other...

[DoormanDan]

That's alright, it happens to all of us :)

[Jamestown]

Deep, powerful piece of work! Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[DoormanDan]

Than you for taking the time to review my writing :)

[Tasfia Islam]

woooohh!! Its really really deep, meaningful, strongly emotional and over all, a great piece..... one of the best of your writings... :)

[DoormanDan]

Im glad you like it. Thank you for the kind words :)

[Amber Lily]

Well Dan I don't think this is weak, in fact it's probably one of my favorites from you! I love it when people are able to take a dark subject and make it still sound like a beautiful thing. I wish I could just sit down and write something like this :)

[DoormanDan]

I'm certain you could easily sit down and write something better than this piece. Thanks for reviewing :)

[ms. barrie]

Mr. Dan...this is a stunning masterpiece...which reminds me
of some ancient lore. your words are full of mystical times
of by-gone eras. "The Three Birds of Rhiannon" ~ to
be specific but with your own uniqueness and twist.
amazing write. thank you for sharing~ b.

[DoormanDan]

IIm gla you like this piece, but I feel I could have done better with it :)

[prince digbani]

a nice one. please when the blackbird comes tell him i also want a place of silence, healing and love.

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for reviewing this. I tell him :)

[Valentine]

Dan, I loved this one. Not only your choice of words but some of the lines." Lift me in your wings and take me to where silence sings". Fantastic, I told you that you had a way with words. I am looking forward to future writes from you. Kathie In fact it is going in my favorites file so I can read it again ..

[DoormanDan]

I'm happy that you like this poem so much Valentine! thanks for reviewing it :)

[Valentine]

No problem. Kathie

[Cool Girl]

10.5 off the charts!! XD
Wonderful job. Beautiful work:)

[DoormanDan]

I'm glad you liked it CG. Thanks for reviewing :)

[Cool Girl]

You're welcome!!

[Lizardo]

I give it 10, It's true its something new, But I like this kind of new.
It's very dark, like someone asking for help in a forsaken place
It's not your weakest, this one goes to medium high level for you xD
But I did enjoyed this one a lot, great work! :)

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for being honest about what you think of it Lizardo :)

[Lizardo]

But when I say mediun-high, I mean like that because you write some really sky level poems and stories, so thats why

[DoormanDan]

I understand. I wrote this one while I was in school, surrounded by kids who love to yell and do anything BUT listen to the teacher lol, and I have a bit of writer's block going on, so this one was a little bit forced. Oh well, you win some you lose some :)

[Lizardo]

I can't write something when I'm that kind of situation ._. xD I

[DoormanDan]

It's VERY annoyingly hard to do, right when I think I have something, it's forever lost because of somebody yelling for some pointless reason lol.

[Lizardo]

exactly lol