The Wisdom of a Foolish Father

The Wisdom of a Foolish Father

A Poem by DoormanDan
"

A father who has made many mistakes throughout his life gives one piece of advice to his child before he dies.

"
The Wisdom of a Foolish Father

Abandon your chrysalis
And embrace the morning mist
Where sempiternal star-scapes await
Accomplish all that you wish
Let no dreams remain to list
For chance never promises to wait

Your life is like a candlelight
Brightly burning, but destined to someday fade
Child, I'm telling you this tonight
So that you don't make the same mistakes I made

This universe is your crop to harvest
This old verse is your power to harness
May it light your highway to happiness

I regret not being there
To shield you, my harrowed hare
From the Hellhounds hunting the broken
Clear your mind-scape of all fear
For now I'll always be here
To serve as your visceral token

I'm hoping that you will listen
To the wisdom of this old, foolish father
Out there are gemstones that glisten
And are longing to one day be discovered

This universe is your crop to harvest
This old verse is your power to harness
May it light your highway to happiness

As my exhausted eyes finally close
I leave you this piece of pathetic prose
I just hope it guides you through the unknown

Your life is like a candlelight
It burns bright, but will one day drown in the night

This universe is your crop to harvest
This old verse is your power to harness
May it light your highway to happiness

As I depart to be with your mother
I leave you the wisdom of a foolish father

© 2017 DoormanDan



Author's Note

DoormanDan
Wow...hello again Writerslobby...um....Writerscafeteria...ah......Writerscafe! It has been a long time this time around, that's for sure! Sorry about that, my second semester of college has been a nightmare time-wise (but everything's going well). You can thank Spring Break for this piece, which I actually wrote while I was visiting England (which was awesome, except for the part where our trip got cut very short as standby tickets to London were no longer available, and the part where I got sick, which was actually the day just before writing this!). It wasn't the best trip to England, but hey, you don't get anywhere by focusing on the negatives forever, do you? Anyway, a few things make this different than some of my previous pieces. Like the last piece, I focused on nailing the syllable count to (hopefully) make this flow as smoothly as it could, and I tried telling a much more emotional and slightly more specific story than I generally tell, and overall, I'm fairly happy with it. I'm certain it isn't my best (how many times have I said that as of now?), but that's mainly just because of my silly mentality of DO NOT RECYCLE WORDS...EVEN IF YOU'VE ONLY USED SAID WORDS TWICE IN THE LAST TWENTY FIVE PIECES YOU'VE WRITTEN. These days, I'm beginning to see the flaw in that mentality, as I'm now Eighty pieces of writing in and am struggling more and more to find an entirely new vocabulary structure for each new piece. I'll try to review some things in the next few days, but I don't know how much I'll be able to do. To conclude, if any of you are still reading this obnoxiously long Note for Reviewers, I just want to say it feels good to be back (if only for a day before submerging beneath the currents of college once more)! As usual, be honest, and thanks for reading! I'll see you in the twenty third century at this rate! :)

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Reviews

My hallowed hare, I swear no pair of twins, most hollow still, will compare to the bliss of scalded will... A beautiful message, and if only we could all be given such sweet departing treats... Wisely penned...

Posted 5 Months Ago


DoormanDan

5 Months Ago

I'm happy to hear that you appreciate my piece here, Silente. Thanks for reading :).
Silente

5 Months Ago

Of course, loved it...
There's quite a lot of wisdom in this piece we can all learn from. Life is indeed like a candle that could go out at anytime.

Great writing.

Posted 5 Months Ago


DoormanDan

5 Months Ago

Thanks for the review. I'm happy to hear that you found my words to have wisdom.
Hey dan,

Quite the piece man! I like how fresh and light the poem is. I mean it's got some very nice thoughtpatterns and paradigmas but you bring it very uhm..well...light in a way. It's really a beautiful poem. One think i don't really like is the sentence: "Your life is like a candlelight." Sentences like that tend to break my attention because they come over as quite cliché. But as always a pleasure reading your work, so..thanks! Sincerely yours, Jules

Posted 8 Months Ago


DoormanDan

8 Months Ago

Yeah, it is somewhat cliche. I usually don't use those, but I legitimately couldn't think of anythi.. read more
DoormanDan - Reminds me of a father without a lot of material wealth who raised and gave his son his most cherished gift...his love! Thanks for those memories DD. Namyh

Posted 8 Months Ago


DoormanDan

8 Months Ago

You're welcome, Namyh! Thank you for reading! :)
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Zoe
Undoubtedly, a very sagacious piece! As usual, the vocabulary is great and the rhymes are wonderful as well. I just wish there were more of those father's philosophies here. Other than that, this is a truly amazing poem and I loved it!

Posted 8 Months Ago


DoormanDan

8 Months Ago

Same here, they would be interesting to read! I'm glad you enjoyed reading this! :)
Crap, I have to admit it's quite amazingly captivating and beautifully told. The first stanza is great and really pulled me in. The poem is very effective in reeling you in.

Damn fine work, DannyBoy!

Posted 8 Months Ago


DoormanDan

8 Months Ago

Thanks for reading, Lovecraft! I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed this! :)
YYYEEESSSSSSSS!!!! Nailed it my friend. This is outstanding. Wistful, poignant and a technical masterpiece. Welcome back! And I love the obnoxiously long note!

Posted 8 Months Ago


DoormanDan

8 Months Ago

Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed that note and my lyrics! Thank you so much for reading! :)
This poem is lovely. You use familiar imagery in unfamiliar ways. I do not have children myself, but I can easily feel the longing and need, tempered by love, of the "father" to impart these words to his child. Beautifully done.

Posted 8 Months Ago


DoormanDan

8 Months Ago

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed reading this! I hope that every father would want to give his children t.. read more

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Added on March 30, 2017
Last Updated on October 4, 2017

Author

DoormanDan
DoormanDan

Dover, DE



About
I'm a twenty year old young man who enjoys writing poetry, songs, stories, paintball and other things. My favorite things to do are parkour, video games, listening to music, and making people happy. .. more..

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