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Ashen Memories

Ashen Memories

A Poem by DoormanDan
"

If inner demons are left to grow for too long, they'll eventually bury you alive

"
Ashen Memories

Will I exorcise the devils I foster
Or will I become my own impostor?
Festering in my own fallacious fervor
I can feel my discernment dissever

I cannot concentrate enough to consecrate
These cancerous caricatures my mind manufactures
I cannot abdicate the demons that dictate
These dystopian raptures that leave my conscious fractured

In darkness I dig so desperately
Trying to escape from the burning debris
I'm begging the silence to come save me
Before I'm buried in Ashen Memories

Reclamation is an eidolon longing
Once your neurosis has left you crawling
I feel the blight burrow into my bloodstream
And drain my desire to keep hope agleam

But still I claw through the ruins

In darkness I dig so desperately
Trying to escape from the burning debris
I'm begging the silence to come save me
Before I'm buried in Ashen Memories

Perversion!  Persecution!
Retribution!  Contrition!
I'm writhing in wrongdoing (exploitation!)
But can feel the pain numbing (execution!)
What am I becoming (realization!)?
The sickness is settling (desperation!)

In the darkness I dance with Travesty
And leave behind those seas of burning debris
Take one last photo and remember me
As another soul buried in Ashen Memories

© 2018 DoormanDan



Author's Note

DoormanDan
I seem to have a decent creative flow going for a change. As a result, ya'll get another piece of writing without another five month gap accompanying it! There's not much else for me to say about this; it's just what you'd expect from my writing style at this point (I am going to try and get back to the varied content I used to put up, just as soon as I get my creative nodes unblocked a little more). As always, tell me what you think, and be honest. Until next time :)

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Reviews

I love this! The rhythm is edgy and magnetic - it's easy to imagine this piece adapted into a rap or Linkin Park-esque track. The alliteration and imperfect rhyme scheme create a sense of urgency that drives from the first stanza to the last, and I found myself reading with haste rather than sitting back and meandering through the poem. Excellent!

Posted 3 Months Ago


DoormanDan

3 Months Ago

Thanks! I'm glad to hear you found my lyrics here to be so captivating! You're closer than you thi.. read more
We shall dance with the Devil and angels. Easy to fall either way.
"In the darkness I dance with Travesty
And leave behind those seas of burning debris
Take one last photo and remember me
As another soul buried in Ashen Memories"
I liked the above lines. I know this place. Thank you my friend for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

Posted 3 Months Ago


DoormanDan

3 Months Ago

And thank you for reading, Coyote. I'm happy to hear you like this! Thanks for reading and sharing.. read more
Coyote Poetry

3 Months Ago

Was my pleasure and you are welcome my friend.
I agree with your opening explanation about how our inner demons can take over. Your message paints how this can happen, chock full of gory imagery to show instead of tell (best part of good writing). Your message is a little extreme, altho I do like the intensity, but the best part is your word-crafting. Good job of using unstructured rhymes, alliteration, & other interesting word sounds such as: "cannot concentrate enough to consecrate" . . . also, good job of using the repeated refrain only twice, then changing it up a bit for the third repetition of this refrain (last stanza). I not a big fan of repetition & you've used it well (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 6 Months Ago


DoormanDan

6 Months Ago

Yeah, this piece certainly is a bit over the top, I will admit. It's how I wanted it to be, though... read more
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Zoe
Ah, a person's struggle with their inner demons. I can definitely feel that agony. This was amazingly written, I saw rich use of vocabulary(there always is in your pieces)and had a lyrical touch to it which I quite liked.
Great work!

Posted 7 Months Ago


DoormanDan

7 Months Ago

I'm happy to hear you enjoyed reading this. Thanks for telling me what you think, Zoe! :)
Zoe

7 Months Ago

No problem!
That's a strong hook,
this is one of my favorite pieces I've read on the site.
the figurative writing you've included holds a great meaning .. ex, In the darkness I dance with Travesty.
I enjoyed reading this and felt it in my heart while reading it. The way you used your words spoke to me on another level.Whatever you're doing, you're doing it right.

Posted 7 Months Ago


DoormanDan

7 Months Ago

Wow, I'm very flattered by your praise of my work. Thank you so much for reading and leaving your t.. read more
Ajla

7 Months Ago

No problem, and I am sure you know what you're doing, otherwise you may be a prodigy haha

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Added on January 14, 2018
Last Updated on January 14, 2018

Author

DoormanDan
DoormanDan

College Burnout, DE



About
I'm a twenty one year old young man who enjoys writing poetry, songs, stories, paintball and other things. My favorite things to do are parkour, video games, listening to music, and making people hap.. more..

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