Within the Flesh

Within the Flesh

Hammered limbs and a bashed chest

Weaving damage, this filthy pest

Insecurity in our very nest

A nightmare... of our geste

 

In the paradigm of failure

Cross paths of:

The effortless salvation around the arched road

And the doleful journey of dominating down hills

Where I chose the latter

And burst into a darker entity

 

When the guiding flames are confined

The late blazing torch smudged, pillaged...

The harmony that once was of meaning

Now a mere discordant tune

Reveling within

Chanting a ruthless anthem

Devouring dreams

Leaving me to my sleep

 

O' whispering hymns

Guide me to the terminus

I'm bleak, languid, and weak

Hovering aimlessly atop descent’s peak

   

Reviews

[alesuriko]

I really liked this poem. Very descriptive, good word choice, nice flow. Everything is really well done. One error: "Were I chose the latter" should be "Where".

At the beginning, mostly influenced by the title and "chest" and "filthy little pest" and "our very nest"... it gave me the sickening... disgusting and terrifying imagery of a bug crawling beneath someone's skin and making a nest... All I could see where scenes from "The Thaw" and I shuddered in horrific disgust. I loathe bugs but the fact that you could make me react as such definitely compliments your writing. Bravo.

I also loved the line "O' whispering hymns" it sounds so rhythmical.

[An owl on the moon]

Your words take us on a journey into the darkness.. the pain is at times overwhelming.. And even in the midst of that, you call out in hope for a way to freedom and life. Powerfully done!

[Annie29]

Great (:
But I don't really see the rhyme sceme carried throughout the poem...

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

great description, powerful write

[Holly-Marie]

Brilliant. Full of description, an intense, strong and powerful poem. A very interesting read. It read very well and flowed wonderfully. 10/10 =)

[Ahmad Alhour]

A piece of self-embrace and self-enjoyment... This is the path you have truly chosen in which your self is manifested in a wolf-form...
Amazing one, carries many emotions deep within along with a simple structure of flow of thought that is rare to find around...

Keep up the great work bro,
You're kicking ;)