Imperial Obscurity

what's up with me and the poetry-through-battle writes ? no idea... just felt the need. enjoy

  Imperial Obscurity

A scene that cleaves the soul

Radiant sorrow: the burning coal

The ill-fated elder’s crumbling stone

The dying ember of a burnt home

 

Atop the ruins of the foregone

Ghosts of the strife that lead this nation

To the very end that’s foreordained;

Rambling still in conflict and war

 

 A gaping wound, from a stab of hunger

Doom-crafted weapons tearing flesh asunder

An arrow puncturing the heart: an attempt of plunder

The contempt for feelings once lied under

 

Has this entire valor gone for waste?

Battles fought in the context of a dilemma

Content the leader or the creed?

For we are the advocates of greed

Thus, the cause of all deceit

Entwining beliefs; alas... defeat

To surrender, to cede

Our dominion, our breed

To the severing power of need

   

Reviews

[alesuriko]

Very nice writing. The description and the wording is well done and I must say I love your vocabulary and the extensive use of it within your writing. The flow is wonderful as usual. I love the phrase "advocates of greed" and then the rhyme with creed, deceit, defeat, cede, breed and need. Very unique. I also really liked the lines "Doom-crafted weapons tearing flesh asunder / An arrow puncturing the heart: an attempt of plunder" and the rhyme that goes with those ones as well. It flows so naturally.

[An owl on the moon]

I at once felt such an overwhelming emptiness.. devastation... Powerful and profound work that brings alive the sense of humanity's pride and appetite for more. So vivid and telling...

[Naomi Montana Walsh]

I like to give my very first impression, a manly poem..very well done ..images are alive and the wording is flows well.

[Constance-Outspoken]

Ahh... here we have a poem that explores a theme fully from beginning to end, focused, purposeful, and with deep and honest meaning and emotion. The use of rhyme works well, and it flows like milk and honey, or blood, as the case seems to be.
Need is one powerful idea. Desire, love and even hate can fall to their knees in its presence, and either wither or be reborn stronger than before.
Wonderfully worded poem containing beautifully sad truisms about our current world, especially some parts of it.
Bravo

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Our country has to gone to the hounds of war and the rich too greedy to leave thier gold to fight...they just buy their politicians to send our sons and daughters into harm's way to do it for them. Great write.

[Jordyn Lee]

wow. very powerful writing piece. i loved it:)

-Jordyn

[Kristen]

I loved this, especially the last three lines. This is well structured and flows nicely, overall good write!

- S.T.