Lair of the Basilisk

A villager is attacked by a basilisk and saved by a mysterious swordsman.

The basilisk lunged. Its fangs flashed and Jasna ducked and rolled out from under the rocky outcropping she was hiding under. The monster's fangs tore into the rock, causing small pieces of stone to dislodge. Jasna looked over her shoulder and saw that the monster was turning its gaze on her back. She spun to face it and palmed her dagger.

 

            The monster slithered toward her and she rushed forward, thrusting out her palm. The magic didn't come. Instead the basilisk swung its tail, battering her ribs. Jasna cried out and jabbed at the tail with her dagger; the blade bounced off its scales and Jasna tossed the dagger away. It was useless; the blade was notched. A distraction. That's what she needed.

 

Jasna's hands fumbled with her cloak, digging into the pockets. Her fingers brushed against the vials of liquid the alchemist had given her and she pulled one out. Green liquid sloshed around inside and she flung it at the basilisk. Smoke billowed up and around them, stinging Jasna's eyes and making her cough. She put on her goggles and through the smoke Jasna saw the basilisk thrashing around, seeking her out.

 

Jasna cautiously stepped backward, doing her best not to make her footfalls loud enough for the basilisk to hear. She took another step back and noticed with dismay that the green smoke was clearing and the monster was regaining its bearings. Her next step made a crunchy sound and she only had a moment's time to glance down at the skeletal remains of some poor soul who had ventured into the basilisk's lair.

 

Bones littered the cavern floor, some quite new, and some ancient and decaying. She lifted her boot off the skull she had stepped on, disgusted and horrified. Was this what was to become of her; a rotting skeleton on the floor of a cave? Jasna felt something grab her ankle and she jumped, kicking at the wasted hand. Bony fingers snapped off. You need to calm down, she thought. She looked at the basilisk. Somehow, it hadn't heard her yet.

The smoke had cleared completely and Jasna reached for another vial, tensing as the basilisk slithered toward her. The alchemist hadn't told her exactly what would happen if she used the vials, but the first one had come in handy. She kept backing away, hoping that the direction she was heading in wasn't a dead end. Fortunately, she discovered that the basilisk's lair led into a whole new set of tunnels.

Once she was out of sight and away from the basilisk, Jasna allowed herself a quick respite from her journey. Escaping the Wraith's Pass had been hard enough, but now she was dealing with a basilisk, creatures she had only heard of in old stories and legends.

"A young girl like you shouldn't be in here," a masculine voice said from the shadows. She sprang to her feet, or tried to, and tripped. She dropped the vial she was holding and it exploded into a burst of azure flame; the rest of the vials clinked together dangerously in her cloak.

"That was a mistake," the man said. "The monster has a good sense of smell, and that fire you just made is sure to attract it."

"Who are you?" Jasna asked, rising to her feet.

"I'm the man that's going to save your sorry hide," the stranger replied, stepping into the light. He was dressed in mesh chainmail and a black and red tunic. A pair of short swords hung from his waist, easily within reach.

A huge shadow appeared on the wall and Jasna spun and saw that the basilisk was slithering toward them. Its fangs were curved and gleaming, dripping saliva. "Get behind me!" the swordsman yelled, jumping in front of her and unsheathing one sword. Jasna staggered backward and fell on her butt, wishing she could be more help to this man. Her hand closed around another vial and she drew it from her cloak.

In front of her Jasna saw the basilisk spring at the swordsman and he danced away from the lethal fangs and chopped at the monster's scaly flesh. The sword pierced right through those armored scales; Jasna wondered if the swordsman's blades were enchanted somehow. The basilisk let out an earsplitting shriek and whipped its tail, aiming for the swordsman's side. He leaped sideways, letting the brunt of the attack be absorbed by his armor, and then ripped out his other sword. Jasna gasped as the swordsman skillfully executed a crossway parry, and then let his other sword whip around and catch the creature's eye. He yanked the sword free, blood splattering against his armor, and jumped back as the basilisk wailed and thrashed in pain.

She noted that the swordsman hadn't even broken a sweat, and he held his swords warily, waiting for the monster to recover. "Kill it, now!" she screamed. The swordsman fired a look at her over his shoulder, and that gesture nearly cost him. The basilisk reared and one huge fang bit deep into the swordsman's shoulder, spraying blood.

Jasna took a step toward them and stopped short. What good could she do? She had no idea what the alchemist's vials would do against the basilisk. The green vial had done some good…

The swordsman was flung across the cavern, swords flying from his grasp. Jasna saw that his eyes were closed. She reached for another vial and prepared to throw it, but then the basilisk let loose a shriek of pain.

The hilt of a dagger protruded from the basilisk's scaly flesh and blood spilled down the swordsman's arms. He rolled sideways, jumping to his feet, with both short swords out and extended. Then he leaped forward and spun, jabbing his sword hilt into the monster's sides, right where a human's ribs should have been. The basilisk roared again and the swordsman whipped around and brought the other sword into a slashing motion, cutting through the scales.

Jasna watched the entire battle, stunned into a shocked silence. Impossible! She thought, bewildered. He was knocked out cold! She watched as the basilisk searched for its prey, and then saw the swordsman leap straight up, swords singing as they hacked at the monster's throat once and then again. Blood splashed onto the swordsman's face and he landed on both feet. The monster swayed to the side, its glare resting on Jasna, and then pitched forward. The swordsman dodged out of the way as the basilisk smashed into the cavern wall.

The ground trembled with a loud boom and Jasna put a hand on the wall to steady herself. The swordsman approached her warily, wiping the blood from his face. He sheathed his swords and put his hands on his hips as if he were assessing her. "You distracted me" was all he said.

"I was urging you to kill the basilisk," she mumbled.

"Yes and I killed it. What are you doing so far up in the mountains, anyway, girl? You could have been killed and left for a flock of carrion to devour your innards."

Jasna cringed at the depth of his words and then shot a glare at him. I don't have to answer to you, she spoke the words mentally, too afraid to speak them out loud. It had been her fault they attracted the basilisk's attention-she was the one who started the fire. She wanted to say something that would make the stranger back off, but her voice wouldn't work. Jasna opened her mouth and she could only sputter some unintelligible words. It had all been too much; the alchemist, the wraiths in the Pass, the basilisk, and the appearance of the swordsman. She still didn't know whether this man was an ally or not.

 

Before Jasna could reply, the swordsman said, “Let’s get going.”

 

They left the caves, and the dead basilisk, behind.

Reviews

[gsethi]

I like this story - although there are better words that could be used for the battle. What's missing is the character pieces - as we know not who Jasna is, or how she stumbled on to the basilisk, perhaps you could have described how the alchemist had led her through this pass. Interesting idea with the vials, I think you could have added more magic into this story. As for the word "boom" - it seems out of place in this story, you could have changed it to "as the ground trembled beneath them"

[13.9]

This seems to be a really good start and, overall, I did like it. It's a fascinating story and it certainly caught my interest. Plus, there were very few punctuation errors. (I believe I spotted a couple of misplaced commas.) I feel like the flow could be smoothed out a bit, though, and while you do a good job of describing the events that are occurring in sequence, it may be beneficial to describe the overall scene a bit more too. There seems to be some backstory I'm missing out on (the alchemist, who Jansa is, and what kind of world she lives in) and I'm still not altogether too clear on what this basilisk is (to my knowledge, most basilisks can kill with their gaze, but I'm assuming that's not the case here) or precisely what is the situation in the caves. Other than that, the only thing I really noticed is that the word "then" is a bit overused in the description in certain parts and some of them could be eliminated. Overall, though, I honestly do think you have a really interesting story and set of characters and I thought the description of the actual fight itself was well written.