CPR

the authoress is a physician and supports life and death with dignity

I still have flashbacks of that code.  I was running (literally) with the oversized McCode team to floor 5H and I can't possibly explain how cool I felt.  It was my first code blue as an intern, a very fucked up and hungry intern.  I stole an Ensure shake off a patient tray dramatically dumping it down my throat as we entered the room.(CHAOS)

"We need a line!  Does anyone have a vein?  God d****t who has access?!"  Our code leader was hysterical when he ordered, "go for a femoral stick intern, now!" while looking wild-eyed at me.  So I did.  

It was then that I noticed our patient was legless.  A near pelvic high amputee and brittle diabetic.  It's also when I saw the disturbing stumps that used to be arms.   Both amputated to "cure" some f*****g super bug fasciitis.

That's when I got violently shoved,  (crowded Fire violation for sure) almost losing my balance to the floor. I pulled myself up using a breathless and sweaty fellow intern who waved his hand in a grand swooping motion over the unconscious trunk as he backed away.  "Start compressions intern!" came booming out of the code leader's dry mouth. 

 So I did.  For almost 20 minutes.  On an oversized torso that bounced lifelessly despite every drug and shock sequence in our code arsenal.   

 I need to say this.  I need to tell the truth. I need to get this off my chest.  The truth is we wanted him to die. We all stared at the monitor and that flat line praying that it didn't convert to sinus rhythym.   We had all seen the trunk suffer and  wallow away in his "coffin" as he called his hospital bed.  He would be peaceful now  if he hadn't tried to jump out the 14th floor window back when he had legs. 

Finally our leader called  "time of death 1241, (fake dry cough) good job team".   "Oh thank god" I exhaled closing my sweat drenched eyes. I pretended I didn't hear the question  when asked, how'd the code go? 

Author's Note

this authoress is a physician and supports life and death with dignity

Reviews

[Delmar Cooper]

" supports life and death with dignity"

Good on you. Dignity is worthy of more attention that society allows.

Not being a doctor or familiar with medical lingo some parts of the story are Greek to me. The last line, "when asked, how'd the code go?" baffles me. Is this a conversation that occurs later in the day or at the bedside. May I presume there is only one "code" and it is blue meaning near death? Sorry to be so ignorant.

This line seems strange.: "That's when I got violently shoved, (crowded Fire violation for sure) almost losing my balance to the floor. " How do you get shoved to the floor while maintaining balance?

I hope I never have a "code leader" as unobservant as this one. Hell, I hope I never have any sort of code leader.
Thanks for sharing.