Man of Steel

This is just a little something that talks about people in general through the life of a murderer. Little forced at parts but tell me what you think.

The wind whistled through the trees,

the streetlights long ago had ceased

to shine their lights upon the road

where cars once had endlessly flowed.

Tonight was different, much more dark,

and evil lurked in every park.

Every corner, street, and cranny

held an air of evil uncanny.

A man with clothes black as night,

was lurking silent on the flight

of stairs that led down below

to places no one did dare go.

He waited silently throughout

having in his mind no doubt

that what he was to do that day

would make him known through history.

Tonight was such that he alone

would rid this world of evil untold.

His target had in days gone by

murdered without a blink of eye.

This world had done in many ways

great harm to him who silent gazed

upon the lowly man below

and lowered down his eyes of stone.

The gun sat in his unwavering grip

and seconds later a bullet would rip

through the man and end his days

which he had misused in many ways.

His finger rested on the trigger

the beating of his heart grew quicker 

the man below had no idea

that every moment death drew near.

Now years later that same gun

had another victim, all undone

his brain became a place too cold

for mortal man to e'er behold.

And so the gun would one last time

take a life so precious divine

because the man who held it so

to his own head had ne'er been told

that love was real and true and strong

no matter how much time had gone

he had a life, and days to show

his help to many other souls.

This is the end, but not for you.

Will you, like him, waste your chance too?

Or will you put your weapons down

because true love is in you found.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading guys!

Reviews

[ocean_side]

As mentioned, you're rhyme is dead on point. Seems really formal for the subject though. Like the flow of words is perfect but the flow of meaning behind them jumbles. Sort of as though you're telling about 1/2 - 3/4 of the story that's intended.

Could just be the way I see it though. Overall it's a good piece; just not all there to me.

[Not here]

i see what you mean. and yeah i struggle with it sometimes. ill try to work on telling more of the story. thank you very much for your review :)

[ocean_side]

Yeah, no problem. This would be a killer piece of poetry if you could refine it though.

[Not here]

alright ill try to work on it. this thing is pretty old to be honest haha. thanks tho :)

[Riley Justine]

This is really well done. The rhyming is absolutely on point. It doesn't sound forced at all. Keep on writing, darlin'.

[Not here]

thank you very much riley :)

[Cool Girl]

I am not a guy, I am a girl!!
You should totally change that to "Thanks for reading guys and girls!"
Jk jk.. I know what you meant lol
This poem was so beautiful and it really touched my heart!
No more fighting, be friendly and love each other instead!
Great job, David :)

[Not here]

Lol sorry about that. To anyone reading, yall are guys and girls! Because that is good and stuff! yeah im not gonna go into that any more

[Cool Girl]

That made me burst out laughing lol

[Not here]

Lol yeah I can picture that

[Cool Girl]

Who wouldn't laugh at that? lol
You are so funny! I'm glad to have you as a friend :)