Prologue: The Story

Prologue: The Story

A Chapter by Dante
"

She Watches All

"

“Anything to drink, sir? Maybe an iced-”

“No,” the grim-faced man interrupted. Raising his head, topped with thinning, gray hair, he added, “I’m waiting on someone.”

“Well, while you wait, could I help you to a pastry? Today, you can get a-”

“I’m just fine, thank you,” he cut in with a clear, back-off attitude.

Turning her back, the waitress stormed away, probably towards another employee who she could complain to. Most mornings like this, when the sun was bright, shining through the cloudless sky, the customers were kind and carefree. Lots of them were elderly folks, coming in for the morning coffee and talk with friends; a few were younger and ate more, occasionally tipping extra too.

This man was different; his face grave and hands shaky, he refused to talk with anyone. Instead, he sat solemnly, staring out the window. Strangers passed by, and he saw them, but at the same time did not. What occurred around him was of no interest; he looked to the future with a wary gaze, uncertain and nervous.

“That man hasn’t moved in nearly half an hour,” one elderly lady named Beth said to her friend. With a quick nod in his direction, she convinced her crossword-solving companion to look up from the daily puzzle in the newspaper.

“Are you certain?” she asked with a mindless, tired sort of voice.

“Quite. He’s hardly even blinked since he sat down.”

“Why didn’t the girl wait on him?” the friend absentmindedly asked, returning to her crossword puzzle.

“She did; the man told her off,” Beth answered. Sipping her early morning coffee, she looked at him a while longer, wondering to herself why on earth someone would choose to sit inside on a beautiful day like this.

At that moment, he turned to face her. With a devilish smile, in an instant, he winked. Ten minutes later, the two ladies were gone.

Why on earth was he inside on such a lovely day? He could have been outside; walking in Pine Tree Park would be comfortably pleasant on a midday like this. In fact, Hardy was chock-full of interesting places to be and unique things to see. Being a small town with only a handful of streets at its core, odd sights were bound to pop out at you, whether you went searching for them or not.

There was the handful of flea markets on the corner of Market Street and 1st Street. Lots of trinkets and toys could be found in the dark corners of that place, hidden for years and forgotten. The cashiers and, at times, customers were just as interesting; after all, the most interesting people are those shadowed in doubt and unknown pasts. Hardly ever sinister, they were still people you did not want catching you gawking at them, so let’s move along before they catch our eyes.

Just past Market Street, the northernmost road at the center of Hardy, there were the many fields. Corn and soybeans were the biggest crops; soybeans to the north and corn to the west. If you followed Highway 62, which ran through the center of Hardy, you would see all of these fields, until you drove down into the center of town and turned left or right, depending on which way you came from. There you would turn onto Main Street, and, following it, would eventually arrive at the corner of Fourth and Main. First, Second, and so on streets ran vertically, while Main Street and a handful of others were horizontal, forming a neat-looking town, where every block was perfectly shaped in a square.

This particular corner was not the busiest, but by far not the emptiest. People hustled about, doing whatever they did and staring at whatever they saw. There would be a diner at this corner, with a handful of these people inside, and the number growing larger every minute. Inside, at a table in the center, facing the street, would be two men.

One had his palms clasped firmly in his lap, trying to hide the shaking fingers. Sweat trickled down the back of his head, which was topped with thinning, gray hair. His face would be familiar to you; he was the first man, who blew off the waitress and sat, staring outside for nearly half an hour, until he overheard the lady talking about him. Turning his head, he had winked at her. After hurriedly tipping the waitress and paying, she and her friend had rushed out, unnerved and fearful of him.

That was nearly an hour ago, though. Since then, many customers had come and gone, leaving him alone there, still watching, still sitting.

Now, he had a companion, both welcome and hated, loved and unwelcome.

His companion sat stiff and upright, feeling the power he controlled and knowing things this older, rude man did not, and would not, want to know. A hat was pulled low over the companion’s face, blocking his eyes from view. Wearing a dark coat, even though the temperature outside recommended a t-shirt, he sipped on a cup of bitter tea and intently focused on the man across from him, who was sweating nervously and wiping his forehead with a napkin that same waitress had reluctantly given him after he blew her off.

“How are you today, Steven?” the stranger asked calmly.

“Better before you sat down,” the balding man, whose name was apparently Steven, replied, placing a hand on his head.

“Oh, come now. What way is that to talk to an old friend?”

“That was a long time ago. Old friend or not, I don’t wanna get into this business.”

“But you don’t even know what happened, Steven? You’ve been-”

“Out west, yeah. It’s your fault I was sent out there. And I know enough of what happened to want out. This isn’t good business, and I’d rather be alive still come Christmas-time.”

The stranger sipped his bitter tea through pursed lips and mused, “Wouldn’t we all.”

“Why did you want to meet me, anyways? They’re done now; won’t happen again for twenty years.” Steven asked, his hands shaking badly.

With his dark coat ruffling at his movements, the stranger shook his head solemnly and placed the tea on the table. “They’re not done for me, Steven.”

“What do you mean?”

The man with the dark coat folded his elbows on the table and said to Steven, “Would you like to hear a story? The entire story? About what happened, right here in this town, not so long ago…”




© 2015 Dante



Author's Note

Dante
This is my first novel in the Mystery/Suspense/Thriller genre. Tell me what you think, and tell me what you liked/disliked :) Suggestions, corrections, and critiques are encouraged and readily listened to.

My Review

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Reviews

Do I sense Sherlockness? Joking, but this is great! Can't wait to see what happens next. Haha.
~~The Cheshire Cheese Cat

Posted 2 Years Ago


Dante

2 Years Ago

lol no sherlockness in this, at least not intentionally. thanks for the review though :) i appreciat.. read more
love this prologue :) i am sure the book itself would be so good!
amazing start for a writer .

Posted 2 Years Ago


Dante

2 Years Ago

thank you Amy :)
Amy R

2 Years Ago

ur welcome Dante
Great Prologue, the only thing: you lost me for a second with the long description of the town. Other than that, great start to a story and will be reading the rest

Posted 2 Years Ago


Dante

2 Years Ago

thanks :) i appreciate it
great opening
a window into a town we yearn to learn about

and people we can see going about thier lives

don't we want to be whisked away to this world
and learn its dark secrets


-Dream

Posted 2 Years Ago


Dante

2 Years Ago

thanks dream :) im glad you enjoyed it
Hi, I have to agree with the other reviews, the characters are great, I would like to see a little more description of the two elderly ladies, and I feel the part about them being gone with in 5 minutes is out of place, it seem to flow better if that is mentioned right after he winked at her, before the description of the town. and surrounding fields. The description of the town does ramble a bit and gets confusing, shorten that up and use the most important strongest images and you have a great beginning! I was trying to picture this "One had his palms wrapped firmly around the front of his head" I can't quite figure that description out? All in al a great beginning, intriguing and I'm looking forward to more.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 2 Years Ago


Dante

2 Years Ago

thank you piper :) and i will definitely fix some things up here
Dante

2 Years Ago

Okay i edited it. Check it out if you like. If not, that's alright
The prolouge was very intriguing! I loved the conversations and the description. But I must be honest, i became a bit lost in the description of the town. All in all, I really enjoyed it, and can't wait to read more.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 2 Years Ago


Dante

2 Years Ago

thanks and yeah lots of people have said that. ima work on that before i publish it in the whole boo.. read more
Dante

2 Years Ago

Okay i edited it. Check it out if you like. If not, that's alright
I have to agree with Willard Wells and Andronicus---you thow things off with too much description. A prologue should be short. But the characters are interesting, and the sense of intrigue strong.

But I think this description isn't quite right:

“No,” the middle-aged man interrupted. Raising his head, topped with balding, graying hair, he added, “I’m waiting on someone.”

I don't think you can say "balding" hair. "Thining" hair would be more appropriate.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 2 Years Ago


Dante

2 Years Ago

thanks ill fix that. and yeah im still learning. first novel ive written
Dante

2 Years Ago

Okay i edited it. Check it out if you like. If not, that's alright
Nice start. You have my interest and I would like to know more. It did get a little busy with all the directions. I think more about the town could be shared later. Thanks,

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 2 Years Ago


Dante

2 Years Ago

Okay i edited it. Check it out if you like. If not, that's alright
Willard Wells

2 Years Ago

I like this much better. Could I pick at it. Of course you can pick apart anything. The piece sounds.. read more
Dante

2 Years Ago

thank you very much :)
A very good introduction. I liked how you led to the wide open ending and the question. I hope to read more. A outstanding introduction. You tempted the reader.
Coyote

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 2 Years Ago


Dante

2 Years Ago

thank you :) and yeah i liked writing this piece
Coyote Poetry

2 Years Ago

A very good piece and you are welcome.
Dante

2 Years Ago

Okay i edited it for some of the confusing parts and increased the dialogue a bit. Check it out if y.. read more
I really enjoyed the first half of this. The conversations and descriptions were great - they really drew me in but then I got a bit lost with the description of the town - maybe you could cut back on that part a little... Then again that's probably just me with my short attention span... :P

Good work Dante - I'm looking forward to finding out why the man is nervous and what will happen next! :)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 2 Years Ago


Dante

2 Years Ago

thanks :) and i might change some of the descriptions during editting
Dante

2 Years Ago

Okay i edited it. Check it out if you like. If not, that's alright
Andronicus

2 Years Ago

lol. of course i will check it out. :)

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Added on June 28, 2015
Last Updated on July 3, 2015
Tags: Mystery, Book, Story, Scary, Thriller, Horror, Stories, Scary Stories


Author

Dante
Dante

Hanover, IN



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Hey everyone :) My name is David Kummer, and I'm an author from Southern Indiana. Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100014606114521 On this site, I mostly have poetry publis.. more..

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