Between You and Me

Between you and me,

I'm getting tired and stressed.

All these things I cannot flee,

so I pretend like I'm blessed.

Between you and I,

I think that I'd rather die.

But you said that you need me

so I guess here I will be.

You're joking; you don't understand

what it really does to me.

I frown behind my hand,

trying not to let you see.

You say that life's a game,

so you're the one to blame

when we forget the rules

and turn out looking like fools.

You tempt and tease and bite,

and you say that it's unfair

even though every night

I give you all I can spare.

Between you and me

I think we've wasted time.

That we're no longer free.

That these are meaningless rhymes.

Between you and I,

I think we've lost our high.

I think those days are gone.

Burned every picture we've drawn.

You saw a perfect life;

it didn't matter where.

I saw a perfect wife.

I guess she was never there.

We called it true love at first.

I couldn't quench you're thirst.

You wanted so much more,

and so you strolled out the door.

But now the cold is king.

It had a place from the start.

You wanted a diamond ring;

I wanted a way to your heart.

Between you and me,

I wonder where you are.

What we were we could still be

if I could find your North Star.

You could be somewhere lost;

you could be somewhere found.

No matter what it cost,

I'd find my way to your sound.

Between you and I,

since I walked out that door,

I sleep under the sky,

regret it evermore.

No matter how I try,

I cannot help but cry.

I'll always wonder why,

I said to you, "Goodbye."

Do you miss me at all?

And if I was to call,

would you pick up the phone

or leave me well alone?

So between you and me,

will you please let me in.

I know I left carefree;

now I want to start again.

I know you slammed the door.

I'd let you in for sure.

Only one I want to see.

Just between you and me.

Reviews

[Valkyrie Warrior]

So sorry it has taken me so long to get around to this. Thank you very much for the read request, I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. The rhyming was great and the overall flow of the poem could not be faulted. I am also keen on the repeating of the phrase (and poems title) Between you and I. Well written and an all round pleasure to read.
Lorna

[Not here]

Thank you :) I really appreciate it. I'm glad that you liked this.

[fattycbreezy52]

Seems like the person is a necromancer selling his soul to a she-devil. That's when you have an inexplicable urge to do something for someone who is not even worth it. Poignant. Temptations can kill you:)

[Not here]

Thank you very much :) I agree with you.

[Tamika Finley]

I love this a lot. Most people try to act as if losing the one they feel strongly about doesn't bother them much, that they were just another loss. I like the emotion you showed here, such vivid feelings. Also, even though in the beginning where you said you could basically never satisfy her, you just wanted her heart and she wanted diamonds, when she left it still hurt. Thanks for sharing. We all feel this way at least once. It happens to us all.

[Not here]

thank you very much :) ive never seen the sense in pretending it doesnt hurt. like if break a bone, im gonna say somethng, not just shrug it off. obviously its not the same, but its very much the same sometimes. i really appreciate your reviews because they dive deeper into the poem

[Tamika Finley]

That's the same way I feel. Because, a person could sometimes not know that what they're doing is hurting you or causing you to feel down, and if you don't tell them that something is wrong they won't know to stop. On the other hand, if you never tell a person that something is bothering you that is fully aware of what they are doing, they will continue to do so and run over you. Speaking up is what is best, if not for anyone else, it is for oneself. It's warming knowing that someone else sees things how you tend to. :)

[Not here]

i agree :) thank you very much Tamika

[Tamika Finley]

any time Dante.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the use of the repetition and the meaning of the words in the poem.
"I know you slammed the door.
I'd let you in for sure.
Only one I want to see.
Just between you and me."
Few people get inside our mind and heart. When they do. Leave a permanent stamp of a memory. Thank you my friend for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Not here]

thank you very much coyote :) i definitely agree with what youve said

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[Rajat malik]

How amazing you write Dante. Your every writing is catchy, it melt my heart. I loved it too

[Not here]

thank you so much :) im really glad you liked it

[andrew mitchell]

A nice rollarcoaster write having the flow. keep on it!

[Not here]

thanks andrew :) i appreciate you taking time lately to review my work

[andrew mitchell]

you are welcome

[Corbin Driver]

Good poem, I like the structure of it!

[Not here]

thank you corbin :) i appreciate your review

[dan]

Dante, (david) First of all, the structure of the piece. I like how you changed up the rhyme scheme in certain stanzas (going from ABAB to AABB and vice versa); doing that gives the piece a little more edgy feel to it. Now the content? To be honest, it seems a bit repetitive; you could have made the piece about half as long as it is and still convey your message.
david: Please don't take my criticisms personally. I've told you before that I consider you one of the more talented writers on WC. With high achievement comes high expectations. I've come to expect more from you than I do other writers. But don't ever give up! Set a standard for yourself and shoot for it always. And I'll always be a fan. take care...dan

[Not here]

dont worry dan i dont take it personally at all. i understand what you mean. i appreciate your reviews as always and thank you for reading :)

[Imperfection2aT]

Beautiful job! I felt a pull on my heartstrings as I read this poem. The painful feeling of loving someone more than they love you back was communicated so well. I really enjoyed this work.

[Not here]

im glad you liked this and it was so emotional :) thank you for the review

[Stan Lee]

This has got to be one of my favorites. Describes very perfectly a lot of relationships. If they're not an equal give and take someone is bound to end up with their heart broken. The rhyming flow and message was very well done. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Not here]

thank you very much smiley face :) i quite agree with what you said