The Path I Make

The Path I Make

A Chapter by Dante

The beat of a heart losing heart

I can not stay stay stay stay stay
Please do not wait wait wait wait wait
I have to go go go away
Please tell me straight straight straight straight straight.

Will you still love me when I go?
Will you still hold me when you know?
Will you still love me if I leave?
Will you still hold me? Still believe?

There is no more more more more more
outside the door door door door door.
All I can see see see see see
is what I'll be be be be be.

Will you still love me when you know?
Will you still hold me? Please don't go.
Will you still love me when you leave?
Will you still hold me? I believe.

Take me with you you you you you.
Everything we've been through through through.
Why won't you say say say say say
that you will stay?

© 2016 Dante

My Review

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I love your effective use of repetition. It brings the reader through the journey while still pushing your style through as part of the begging a person does when needing to no longer be alone. Great use of words.

Posted 10 Months Ago


10 Months Ago

thank you brittany :) I really appreciate it! I'm glad you liked this poem
I liked the use of repetition. The poem felt alive and made the reader fall into the words. The poem had strong energy and thank you Dante for sharing the excellent poetry.

Posted 11 Months Ago

Yeah! The beating heart, heart, heart! Works well. :) thanks for sharing

Posted 12 Months Ago


12 Months Ago

Thank you smiley face :)
Way cool. Agree with RJ on the nice use of the fading away text. Nice work.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 Year Ago

Thank you :) I appreciate it!
I love this piece :)
The change in font size makes a huge impact on the way you read it, which I think is very well done and creative!
Lots of strong emotion comes through here and it's very well done :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 Year Ago

Thank you Riley :) I really appreciate it! I'm gald you enjoyed reading!

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5 Reviews
Added on December 6, 2016
Last Updated on December 6, 2016



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