A Bridge a River an End

A very dark poem about a very unhappy period of my life when all seemed lost. Thankfully that was not the case

 

A Bridge, a river, an end

 

I visit obscured distant shadows of my mind

Searching for answers, thinking the truth there I’d find

A decent into madness and the dark depths of hell

Where all of my nightmares and worst fears dwell

A world of such pain and torturous fire,

An end to this suffering my only desire.

I’m screaming inside and I’m raging at life,

Fortunes fickle mistress cuts me deep like a knife.

Haunted by my memories that will not give me peace,

Please dear god help me, make these memories cease.

My emotions are seared my thoughts are unending,

Downwards they cast me to dark depths descending.

A desolate void of unending blackness,

I see no escape from this unending madness.

Completely alone whom even god has forsaken,

I contemplate fate and the strange path it’s taken.

A road to a bridge across a dark churning sea,

Why am I here? What has happened to me?

I stand on the bridge, the edge it is calling,

All of the hurt will cease with the falling.

Stare into the chasm grasp tight to the rail,

A moment of courage I don’t want this to fail.

One leap of despair to the dark icy pool,

A watery end for a demented fool.

Who preached only kindness but received only scorn,

Who lost all belief in the forthcoming dawn.

Days only bring pain like the days gone before,

The hurts overwhelming as never before.

No alternative ending in my mind do I see[,DA1] 

Than falling through darkness and an ending for me.

Decision is taken the end is now near,

All hope is lost I’ve now nothing to fear.

Nobody knows what I’ve lost or once gave,

No note shall I leave just a watery grave.

I empty my pockets of personal possessions,

All that will be left from a destructive obsession .

Tears cloud my eyes as I sob and breakdown,

A shivering relic of a once joyous clown.

Ive never been is such desperate need of a friend,

To quell my obsession for a watery end.

And then as from nowhere ,a Samaritan appears,

Who patiently listens as I tell of my fears.

Their kindness is welcome, their concern makes me halt,

I finally realise, this pain was never my fault.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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 [DA1]