Ending Myself.

life.deeds.death.actions.reasons.past.

I'm a savage to my feelings

Killing, drop by drop;

Every wish; one after the other.

My time has gone

I've lived my deeds

Now, nothing's left.

Nothing to regret

Nothing to proud

My words are bleeding...

Cracking all mirrors

I can see myslf as I am.

I'm naked to the sky

Naked to the earth.

Standing still

My hands are closed,

Fists, clutched to my past

And I cannot move.

I'm stiff to everything,

Constrained.

My blood is sweating

My wounds are open-

And I will not move

I will not cry.

I chose my Life.

I chose my Death.

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Very painful and emotional piece..I can relate myself to each and every word.

Though, in third line..there should be "after" I guess..
"One fter the other."..It should be "One after the other.."

But that's fine..


I can't choose a single line from the piece which is my favorite, since many of them wounded me too.
like-
"I'm naked to the sky
Naked to the earth."

and, "My blood is sweating
My wounds are open-
And I will not move."

Very much raw and beautifully penned...

A great write overall :)

[nam]

beautiful!! "i chose my life.. i chose my death" ='|

[Adela Muresan]

Great. This poem is exactly the kind I expected in the ,,Gray,, contest.
The melancoly of a soul bled dry is well penned in the imagery.

A.M.

[Fran Marie]

A poignant dark brooding write~ with dark emotions emerging forth

THanks for submitting to the contest~Fran Marie

[jen -- JG]

Sorting out emotions, tearing the crap out of your life and seeing yourself naked right through to your very soul is frightening and emotional.

A very strong poem here showing the pain of dying to the past and seeing exactly what your life is, and the person you are now.

You chose your life you chose your death.

You have taken full responsibility for yourself.

Well done

Jen

[KayOss]

I could talk about the pain and emotion within your poem, but others have done that. I could talk about the few spelling errors, but they've done that to. It goes without saying that you've penned another splendid piece here. So what is left to say?

How about how the poem made ME feel as a reader? I was astounded when I read this poem. Emotions brutally laid raw, shown plainly in the glaring light of reality. There are so many lines that stood out to me that this review would be entirely too long if I posted them all.

Here are a few:
My words are bleeding...
My blood is sweating...

I loved these lines. They stood out to me so much.

I also loved the way you ended this poem. Quite striking.

[PhoeniX]

what a dark look at your feelings. raw and fierce

[Shelly Wiseberg]

Very powerful poem, painful and emotional the torment that eats away at our souls from despair, there is always something new to learn from the earth plane and beyond, a great poem Shelly