Dump The Ashes

A collab with a great poet, human being and friend. Liza V. Thank you so much for allowing me to work with you. A true honor.

 

A suspect a passageway to the furnace at the base of my temple is blocked, the core of me is frozen,

I have sheltered this blockage because I’m afraid that an open flame is not a temperature yet set, for my surroundings to benefit.

The icicles formed throughout the cycles of my behavior

numbing me from within.

I sense a falling, breaking and melting of senseless disconnections,

these sensations are burning away unnerving connections;

fumes line the walls of my brain.

My thoughts become so dark that at times I forget how to breathe,

ashes rise out of my chest, I gulp on seemingly nothing and choke on every breeze.

Devastating the complexity of my appetite to break down and through

suffocating on the lifeless reflections that mold from untried tears.

These veins feel like a muddy ashtray,

so much so that I can taste the dark residue on my tongue

triggering my reflexes to heave this toxicity.

Pleading for the wind to blow through and kiss spring into me,

begging my heart to speak.

I recognize a tide coming urging me to spread out to the sea

or become the Phoenix.

Obscurity creeps through my cardio halls,

I vow to transform the eternal through humanities canal.

A stream appears, I breathe steam and witness vessels gently pushing through my own resistance… I exhale a sigh of rebirth.

Author's Note

I got a call from my friend one day asking if I wanted to collar, said she had an idea that involved using smoke and ashes as metaphors... the interesting thing was I had already written six lines with the same concept two days before but hadn't completed it... After going back and forth adding and editing our words have combined to form this poem.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Many interesting descriptions & metaphors that are a little hard for me to follow & connect, but I'm not good at reading nuanced messages. I like the idea of blending of icy imagery with smoke & ash. This, to me, is a very vivid description: "These veins feel like a muddy ashtray, so much so that I can taste the dark residue on my tongue" . . . good job having fun with a collaborative friend!

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts on the poem.

[SM Davis]

Devastating the complexity of my appetite to break down and through
suffocating on the lifeless reflections that mold from untried tears.

GENIUS! really an evocative poem. Great job!

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you so very much.

[SM Davis]

you never disappoint, Dale. :)

[TL Boehm]

stellar collab to the both of you!

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thanks, I worked with an excellent poet and human being.

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

I like the words a lot, the descriptions are really nice... and then that ending just ties it all together nicely "I exhale a sigh of rebirth."
I really like these parts:
"the core of me is frozen,
I have sheltered this blockage because I’m afraid that an open flame is not a temperature yet set, for my surroundings to benefit."

"The icicles formed throughout the cycles of my behavior
numbing me from within."

"These veins feel like a muddy ashtray,
so much so that I can taste the dark residue on my tongue"

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you so much.

[Deuces]

Amazing collaboration. It shows that sometimes two people's minds can be so in sync. I'm a big fan of metaphors and enjoyed how you drew analogies.

I can relate to the feelings in this piece. This experience is all about that exhale!

Nice.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you very much sir, I had a great writing partner.

[Debbie_Philly]

Great Great piece Cowboys.... really ... I liked this allot !!

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you, I had a great writing partner on this one.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I was glad for the last line, so many captivating lines of torment and dispair, this is a very well crafted accomplishment, well done

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you very much.

[Stacey Watts]

Very nicely penned here. I like the way it flows and your collaboration was seamless. Nice one!

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you.

[Eileenws]

To me it seemed like the thoughts of someone battling drug addiction or mental illness. Dump the Ashes might refer to the change. Very descriptive. You and your friend did a wonderful job.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

That could be cause poetry is subjective and if that is what you read from it then that is what it is... Thank you.