Venting tonight!

Deborah L Krempa shared Positive Focus's photo.

4 mins ·

This is a good post for me today... My mamogram has me worried, the doctor's office called today. Sept 30th I go for another mamogram and an ultra sound to see what is wrong, hope it isn't serious, if it is I guess I go on from there. We shall see, anyway it's got me thinking about Juleah and how much I miss her and how much she needs me, because she has no one else, OMG how I need to see my daughter, soon... she is still in lockdown, solitary confinement is so wrong and so extreme and cruel punishment for being mentally ill and depressed, who wouldn't be in her situation. You know I took it pretty hard when I found out Robin Williams killed himself, my daughter has been under such terrible stress, I just pray she can find the will and the strength to hold on to life, it truly can be awesome and beautiful, but you have to see it through one day at time, one miracle at a time and one prayer answered in your favor, if it is not in your favor, then the answer must have been, no! Sometimes that is the way it is meant to be. You know when I lost my son, I grieved and I wrote volumes of poetry and prose, I questioned my faith and my God, and I even came to realize that my beliefs have changed, I do believe in Jesus Christ, but I don't believe in fairy tale endings, I believe him to be God's son, first born of a man, made in his image, I feel like he is the brother I never had, and one day we shall meet and my questions shall be answered. You know, when my "Bobby" died, at the funeral, the pastor asked me if "Bobby" knew Jesus? I looked him straight into his eyes and I said, "If he "Bobby" didn't know him then, he knows him now! For what my Robert did that day when he saved that little boy's life he gave the best gift a man can give, to a brother, and that is to give his life for him. My "Bobby" did that, he was that kind of man. he would never say or admit that he became a hero that day, he would say "I did what I had to do and in a heartbeat would do it all over again! A good boy, a good man, and I am blessed to have known him as my son. My Juleah needs someone to care about her, it is hard to deal with mental illness, no one expects it, it just happens, it seems at time so selfish, but you don't know what it is like until you have walked in another person's shoes. I love her! I love her, so very much. It hurts me soul deep to know that she is locked away in a dungeon... with no one tv, no radio, no one to share in conversation, no one to hold her hand, to give her a hug, no one to visit her in going on 2 years, being in a cell no larger than it takes to fit a bed, a sink and a toilet. Seclusion, is a barbaric punishment for any human being to suffer, yet my daughter is suffering, and she is losing hope and I pray night and day for God to help her to see her through this and I pray for her life! Well, I guess I have vented here to all of you, my family and friends, here on dear old facebook. Suppose it's time for me to call it a night.