Dear Self

Dear Self

A Poem by Declan Cooney
"

Enjoy.

"

Dear self,

You never know what to do
You get me spinnin in circles
Till the point I wanna spew
But I'm bouncing from the rebound
With the HTP sound
That you can get off the ground
Of any low down s****y town
Its that kinda skill
That anyone can tame
Though its hard to maintain
And it can corrupt your brain
But don't try to strain
Or cut your veins
Cause you'll be called insane
Even though its just a game
To cut yourself
And see if life reacts
And if you wanna f**k with karma
Go on and stab someone in the back
And see if maybe
That s**t really exists
But my tears are like napalm
To my atomic bomb fists
I'd dig my own grave
Before I'd hand you my leash
I'd eat a s**t on keash
Admit my own defeat
Stand in overwhelming heat
Like the fiery sun
Until you feel my emotion
So you can see what you've done
 
Dear Self,
You've made me something
I'd never become
Now I'd go for the knife
Before I'd go for the gun
But my tears have slowed
And my heartbeat has passed
I don't know how long
This body will last
But "Leavin on a jet plane"
Has my emotions mixed up
And with an ounce more of weed
I think I'll give it all up
But I must be alone
So I can look inside me
And see all the things
No one else can see
Like a heart made of coal
And lungs lined with tar
And a brain that has wandered
A little bit too far
So my lullaby to you
Will be soft
Will be sweet
It'll be everything
You could ever want it to be
 
Dear Self,
I'm stuck in a rut again
Contimplatin suicide
From my immediate
Disappearance of friends
No offense
But you lack a defense
Cause in my sixth sense
Ladies and gents
I'm an insane man
Obsessed with japan
I'd cut you with a katana
If I had one on hand
You don't understand
My souls in that land
The entirety of my existence
Could be gone in a glance
LIKE LANCE
Who just wanted to dance
The masochism tango
Of sado romance
Must be from france
Hyped up on these drugs
I'm goin into a trance
Hurry! Someone take off my pants
Lets go to a place
Without time or space
Where we wont have to baste
Our lives with this emotional paste
Which has no taste
Of which we can define
And it'll all come back to you
If you just give it time
But I'm here to rhyme
And make sure you're fine
And make sure my explicity
Doesn't F*****G cross the line
Oo I drank too much wine
I'll drink anything
Proofed over 79
So "Here's yer sign"
Please don't whine
Your pathetic grumbling
Has got me out of my mind
And into a hole
Dug to the center of the earth
So I like the phoenix
Can begin my rebirth
 
Dear Self,
I'm back to normal again
And theres no bullets in my head
And I don't regret anything I said
But now when I lay in bed
My eyes are glazed over with
With a shade of blood red
I hope I'm dead
Lets see if hells real
Cause if theres really a devil
I'd like to cut him a deal
So I can terrorize
Manipulate and surprise
In a devious disguise
And to all whom it applies
Take my advice
AND DIE
I'm really quite wise
When it come to your stupidity
And your swamp of deception and lies
 
Dear Self,
You're becoming
Something of a disease
And in my many degrees
Of Expertise
My board of trustees
Are no better than processed cheese
So please seize this unease
Of a fallin trapeze
While I squeeze and tease
The honey out of these bees
What no one sees
Is me
Who just longs to be
Japanese
Not Vietnamese
Chinese, Lebonese, or Taiwanese
Just freeze this breeze
Of inconsiderate deeds
Let me read
The nominees
First runner up
Is my dad
A*****e of the decade
Second
Is that b***h
I went out with in ninth grade
And third
Someone you would never expect
Someone I cared for
And tried to protect
But broke through my ribcage
And into my heart
With a single card
You wouldn't find in a deck
And who's trust I treasured
More than a chest from a wreck
But my birth defect
Didn't teach me to deal with reject
So I suspect I'm incorrect
When something happens
That hurts my soul
I turn around
And turn around
I'm all alone
And I'll never know
What its like
To let things go
 
Dear Self,
I miss you so.

© 2008 Declan Cooney


Author's Note

Declan Cooney
it'll be a rap someday

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Added on June 2, 2008
Last Updated on June 2, 2008

Author

Declan Cooney
Declan Cooney

Phoenix, AZ



About
My name is Declan Cooney, I've lived in Phoenix, Arizona all my life. I was born on July 18th 1990. I love rap, rock, and hip hop, however, I still enjoy all types of music. I write about my life most.. more..

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