Another Dreaded Padgent

      They all say that I'm the best.  But I know that isn't true.  Sure, I win a stupid, plastic tiara every padgent I compete in, but to me that is meaningless.  What I would really prefer doing as a passion is being a competitive weight lifter, but my mother has a different plan.

      "That miss America tiara is practicly screaming out your name", she tells me before going on stage.  The words linger in the air for a moment, then gradually fizzle into ablivion.  I try not to listen to her when she says things like this, it makes me nervous.  What if, one day, I acctually win that dumb, degrading padgent. then what?  I would have to pretend to be happy for more than the few short seconds it takes to win in normal padgents.  I would have to be interviewed by multiple talkshow hosts/critics, all of witch would assume I care about being a freaking padgent queen.